What happens when an arrogant, 60-year-old youth minister who thinks he has his spiritual life completely "figured out" arrives at the rites terrified and is forced to tear down his carefully constructed walls?

In this twenty-third episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Mike Whitman for a deeply reflective conversation about his 2008 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois. Mike shares how a master's class with former guest Bill McElroy led him to blindly say yes to an experience that left him questioning his decisions just four hours into the drive.

Mike reflects on the terror of his first ritual, his instinct to constantly rebuild his emotional walls, and the miraculous softening that occurred when he unexpectedly stepped into a paternal role for two younger men. As an Enneagram Type One, Mike speaks with profound wisdom about asking God for "radical inner honesty," learning to accept his own imperfections, and finally dropping his lifelong "spousal spirituality" out of his head and into his heart. Whether you are a man hiding behind a mask or looking to soften your own sharp edges, Mike's story is an inspiring invitation to step into true vulnerability.

Episode Highlights

• The Arrogant Arrival: Thinking you have your spiritual life completely figured out, only to realize you are stuck behind your own masks.
• Tearing Down Walls: The cyclical terror of having boundaries broken down in ritual, only to nervously rebuild them again.
• The Enneagram One: How recognizing the "Perfectionist" mask softened a lifetime of harsh internal criticism and made him "a lot less negative".
• Radical Inner Honesty: Stepping into the pain of recognizing personal dishonesty and mixed motives instead of escaping into an image.
• Spousal Spirituality: Dropping a lifelong faith from the intellect down into the heart.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Mike Whitman for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a "top-heavy" intellectual, whose marriage and worldview are crumbling, lies face down in a dry creek bed and finally lets his body do the weeping?

In this twenty-second episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Matthew Lyda for a deeply moving conversation about his 2018 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois. Matthew, a spiritual director from Spartanburg, South Carolina, shares how he arrived at the rites in the midst of the "full catastrophe"—navigating interrupted dreams of living overseas, a marriage left in ashes, and a 30-year religious paradigm shift that was losing its grip on his life.

Episode Highlights

• The Top-Heavy Stick Figure: Moving away from a life dominated by head-knowledge to recovering a deep trust in the body's wisdom.
• The Dried Creek Bed: The visceral power of laying prostrate in nature and bypassing the thinking brain to release tears.
• The Grandfather Ambush: Unloading 20 years of hidden grief and the mysterious synchronicity that prepared him for a real-life loss.
• The 500-Year Rummage Sale: Navigating the terrifying freefall of a religious paradigm shift when deeply held beliefs stop working.
• A Warning for Young Men: Matthew's reverse-psychology advice on why you absolutely shouldn't attend the rites if you aren't ready to be loved and transformed.

Episode Specific Links

Matthew Lyda:

• Recover the Wild
• The Center for Sexual and Relational Health
• Recover The Wild: Unfiltered Poems and Prayers
• Defeated by Great Waters: Where is the hope inside of impossible places?

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Matthew Lyda for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when an ex-SWAT officer and first-responder chaplain arrives at the rites, only to find that the hardest part is holding space for other men trying to "fix" him?

In this twenty-first episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Matt Domyancic for an incredibly raw and unique conversation about his initiation in Big Bear, California. Matt shares his perspective as a high-alpha, former football player and cop who had already spent decades diving into psychoanalysis, silent retreats, and spiritual direction before arriving at the rites.

Episode Highlights

• The Helper's High: Why men need to trade their desire to "fix" others for an experience of mystery and awe.
• The Myth of the Father Wound: Matt's experience of being pushed to manufacture trauma, and the beauty of honoring a good father.
• True Inner Work: Why shooting guns, crawling in the mud, and doing cold plunges isn't the deeper spiritual work men actually need.
• Butterflies in Formation: A powerful sports psychology lesson on jumping off the platform and embracing communal vulnerability.

Episode Specific Links

Matt Domyancic:

• https://www.tacticalchaplain.com
• https://www.instagram.com/thinbluelinespirituality
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-domyancic-b7203b6

"Helping, Fixing or Serving?" by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD:

• https://www.dailygood.org/story/218/helping-fixing-or-serving-rachel-naomi-remen-md

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.org
• Practicing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app
• Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESH
• Brian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.com

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Matt Domyancic for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams