Episodes

  • 79: Beyond "Yes": Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response with Matthias Barker

    79: Beyond "Yes": Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response with Matthias Barker
    Jun 7 2024
    Sabrina sits down with Matthias Barker for a second time to dive into the detrimental effects of people-pleasing, a common trauma response where individuals regulate others to feel safe themselves. Unlike genuine empathy, people-pleasing stems from fear and often involves manipulation. Barker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and confronting dysfunction rather than avoiding it, as true safety doesn't come from constant monitoring out of fear. He advises distinguishing between needs and anxiety, advocating for acceptance and mutual attunement in relationships. Personal experiences shared by both Sabrina and Barker highlight the necessity of building a solid relationship foundation, addressing big emotions, and helping partners express their needs authentically without resorting to people-pleasing behaviors.

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    1 hr
  • 78: Why chasing validation lead me to the wrong relationships

    78: Why chasing validation lead me to the wrong relationships
    May 31 2024
    Sabrina is back for a solo episode this week, exploring the pitfalls of chasing the wrong things in relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and breaking negative patterns. She shares her journey from anxious attachment, seeking validation from unsuitable partners, to finding balance and self-acceptance. Sabrina recounts personal experiences of idolizing shallow relationships and ignoring red flags, which led to emotional pain and wasted time. She advises listeners to recognize when interest is unreciprocated, set boundaries, and trust their gut feelings. By focusing on self-love and understanding one's true needs, Sabrina highlights that healthy, secure relationships become more attainable. Ultimately, she encourages introspection and embracing discomfort as essential steps toward meaningful growth and fulfilling partnerships.

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    48 mins
  • 77: Reframing negative thoughts, self-love, and communication for healthy relationships with Jason Goldberg

    77: Reframing negative thoughts, self-love, and communication for healthy relationships with Jason Goldberg
    May 24 2024
    This week, Sabrina sits down with Jason Goldberg, a speaker, coach, and author, who emphasizes reframing negative thoughts and consistent action to challenge a fixed mindset, particularly in dating. He shares his experiences with anxiety and depression, advocating for grounding oneself in physical sensations before cognitive reframing. Jason and Sabrina share about loving oneself independently of others' validation, recognizing personal insecurities, and understanding that not being liked often reflects others' issues, not one's inadequacies. Jason highlights the importance of intentional communication and managing anxiety in relationships, sharing his own experience maintaining long-distance connections and handling uncomfortable conversations. Ultimately, he and Sabrina promote self-love and resilience as foundations for healthy relationships.

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    57 mins
  • 76: Healing from narcissists: Understanding family dynamics, boundaries, and moving forward with Dr. Ramani

    76: Healing from narcissists: Understanding family dynamics, boundaries, and moving forward with Dr. Ramani
    May 17 2024
    Sabrina is joined today by Dr. Ramani, a clinical psychologist, who describes narcissism as a maladaptive personality style rooted in low empathy, appearance focus, and a need for admiration, with insecurity and shame at its core. Children of narcissistic parents often experience guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Sabrina speaks to her personal experiences with a narcissistic parent. Dr. Ramani dives into the nuanced topic of knowing when to walk away as an adult child which involves setting boundaries, understanding the individual’s journey, and prioritizing therapy. Co-parenting with a narcissist presents immense challenges, requiring prioritization of children's well-being and seeking professional support. Overall, the impact of narcissistic behavior on familial relationships and psychological well-being necessitates understanding, boundary setting, and therapeutic intervention.

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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • 75: Overcoming shame to prioritize mental health and build a fulfilling life with Anna Przy

    75: Overcoming shame to prioritize mental health and build a fulfilling life with Anna Przy
    May 14 2024
    Sabrina talks with guest Anna Przy about the mental health journey that led to her current ventures. Addressing mental health needs can be a complex process, and the journey is not always straightforward, which can make it unappealing to some. In their conversation, Sabrina and Anna discuss the transition from treating mental wellness as a taboo subject to being open to receiving help and sharing the wisdom behind accepting help. Both emphasize how shame around seeking help causes breakdown before realizing "I'm not okay." Anna shares how finding love and marriage not long after pursuing her mental health journey changed her perception of living life for herself, but also loving living her life with her husband. Accepting the possibility of growing apart from people during your mental health journey is crucial. It is a testament to becoming secure after healing. Prioritizing mental health enables setting boundaries to overcome setbacks like imposter syndrome, anxiety, and burnout from the expectation of constant productivity.

    Get Anna Przy's new book, “Keep It Up, Cutie! A Not-Quite Self-Help Book”

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    1 hr and 8 mins
  • 74: Dating Fatigue and What It Actually Means To Go Slow

    74: Dating Fatigue and What It Actually Means To Go Slow
    May 10 2024
    Sabrina gets real about dating fatigue and common misconceptions during and after dating. Does it ever end after you get into a relationship? She breaks down the sources of exhaustion and how to counter it by focusing on what you can control about the dating experience. You can create a life around your dating experience and still feel the highs and lows of dating. It is essential to validate those emotions before re-evaluating the exhaustion. Your expectations of the dating experience need to change and include being practical about the pace of getting to know someone. Sabrina lays out what it means to go slow while dating and how it can help you make the most of the dating experience.

    Snag Sabrina's 8 week course HERE!
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    Please support our sponsors!
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    50 mins
  • 73: Confidence In Dating And How To Show Up Authentically With Lisa Bilyeu

    73: Confidence In Dating And How To Show Up Authentically With Lisa Bilyeu
    May 3 2024
    Sabrina and Lisa Bilyeu delve into the topic of navigating people-pleasing. Lisa's life experiences, which led to her business venture and her latest book, Radical Confidence, are a testament to the fact that finding the confidence to voice your needs and wants is a journey that can start at any point in life. It's not about waiting for confidence to come first, but about taking action despite the fear. Lisa's journey is a powerful reminder that the discovery of confidence often involves confronting failure and addressing the source of fear through action.

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    57 mins
  • 72: Chasing Unavailable Love and Unpacking Idealized Relationships with Matthew Hussey

    72: Chasing Unavailable Love and Unpacking Idealized Relationships with Matthew Hussey
    Apr 26 2024
    This week, Sabrina sits down with Matthew Hussey and the two delve deep into the complex world of love and relationships, share invaluable insights on the pitfalls of cherishing potential over reality in romantic pursuits.

    Sabrina opens up about the personal journey that led her to understand the futility of chasing after the unavailable, and discover how tough conversations became the pivotal tool for recognizing genuine reciprocity in her relationships.

    Our conversation navigates through the intriguing concept of "living in the blue" within text message exchanges, signifying the balance of effort in communication. Matthew bravely parallels chronic physical pain with the emotional toll of being single, leading to a candid discussion about the pursuit of happiness, whether alone or with a partner.

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    Please support our sponsors!
    Get free shipping on orders over $75 at Skims HERE! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select Do The Work in the dropdown menu that follows.
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    1 hr and 8 mins