In this episode I sit down with Sabrina Bendory, bestselling author and relationship coach whose work has reached tens of millions of people, to talk about something so many of us know intimately — the cycle of chasing the ones who don't choose us, while pushing away the ones who do. Sabrina shares her own decade of toxic relationship patterns, dating narcissists and emotionally unavailable men, and exactly what it took to finally break free — including what she calls her "Summer of Me," the moment everything changed. We talk about where the void actually comes from, what detachment really means, how approval addiction keeps us stuck, and what it feels like in your body when a relationship is finally healthy.

This one is raw, honest, and deeply practical — and I think it is going to meet a lot of you exactly where you are.

Connect with Sabrina:

sabrinabendory.com

www.instagram.com/sabrinabendory

Sabrina's book: https://amzn.to/4cCcKZp

WORK WITH ME 1:1:

❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support:https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu

❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE:

• Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go-guide

• Attatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinayt.com/attachment-practice

• Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinayt.com/connect-and-ground

• Alive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinayt.com/alive-and-aligned

• Trigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted

VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:

https://marinayt.com/resources

CONNECT WITH ME:

Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠

Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner

Top Episode Quotes:

"Being detached doesn't mean you're detaching from people. You still care, you still want love — but you are detaching from outcomes." — Sabrina Bendory

"The stink of desperation poisons everything. You have to channel that energy into something else, otherwise there's just too much at stake." — Sabrina Bendory

"I am so much more than whether or not some avoidant guy chooses me — and once I made that shift, everything started to click into place." — Sabrina Bendory

"In a healthy relationship you can be who you are, express your needs, set a boundary — and you're not afraid you're going to blow everything up." — Sabrina Bendory

"When you're too attached, you don't have the feeling of I know I'll be okay. You feel like if this person doesn't choose me, I'm going to implode." — Sabrina Bendory

somatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, attachment healing, toxic relationship patterns, narcissistic abuse recovery, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, self trust, self worth, codependency healing, people pleasing, approval addiction, detachment, embodiment, survival mode, burnout recovery, choosing yourself, deep within podcast

What does it actually look like to choose yourself — not as a way of closing off from love, but as the very foundation that makes real love possible? In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Rachel Greenberg, a psychologist and relationship expert who specialises in attachment healing, authentic connection, and embodied intimacy, helping individuals and couples create relationships rooted in emotional honesty and deep relational repair. We talk about the patterns that keep us stuck, what secure attachment to yourself and others really means in practice, what it looks like to be truly met in a relationship, and why the goal was never to stop needing connection — it was always to become someone who knows her needs matter.

This one got personal. I shared one of my own triggers and got some of the most honest, grounded perspective I've been given. I think you're going to feel that as you listen.

Connect with Dr. Rachel Greenberg:

theworkwithdrrachel.com

www.instagram.com/heydrrachel

WORK WITH ME 1:1:

❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support:https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu

❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE:

• Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go-guide

• Attatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinayt.com/attachment-practice

• Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinayt.com/connect-and-ground

• Alive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinayt.com/alive-and-aligned

• Trigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted

VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:

https://marinayt.com/resources

CONNECT WITH ME:

Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠

Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner

Top Episode Quotes:

"To be more willing to lose connection with someone else than to lose connection with yourself — that is how a woman chooses herself." — Dr. Rachel Greenberg

"Healing is a life path. If we're choosing to live awake and aware, we will always be encountering new layers of what limits us from deeper intimacy with ourselves and other people." — Dr. Rachel Greenberg

"The degree of trauma re-enactment goes down, and the opportunity for healing in relationship becomes expanded." — Dr. Rachel Greenberg

"Emotional safety is the name of the game. Without emotional availability, emotional engagement, emotional responsiveness — the relationship will be insecure." — Dr. Rachel Greenberg

"Anytime you're at either extreme — I'll give everything, or I don't need anything from anyone — there's some kind of trauma pattern operating." — Dr. Rachel Greenberg

somatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, attachment healing, secure attachment, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, self trust, childhood wounds, relationship patterns, codependency healing, people pleasing, embodiment, intimacy, self love, choosing yourself, burnout recovery, survival mode, emotional safety

This one really blew my mind — and I was asking questions I'm genuinely grappling with myself. Kristen Schwartz is a certified trauma recovery coach, author of The Healed Empath, and founder of Realized Empath — a wellness community supporting highly sensitive people and empaths since 2016. Kristen and I dig into how to tell the difference between a trauma response and your highly sensitive nature, why labelling yourself an empath can sometimes mask unresolved trauma, what to actually do with emotions you absorb from other people, and why the next step in the empath journey is taking full responsibility for your own inner state.

Connect with Kristen:

www.realizedempath.com

www.instagram.com/realizedempath

WORK WITH ME 1:1:

❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support:https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu

❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE:

• Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go-guide

• Attatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinayt.com/attachment-practice

• Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinayt.com/connect-and-ground

• Alive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinayt.com/alive-and-aligned

• Trigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted

VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:

https://marinayt.com/resources

CONNECT WITH ME:

Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠

Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner

Top Episode Quotes:

"Labelling yourself highly sensitive can mask being a trauma survivor. The coping mechanisms you developed to feel safe — those aren't your sensitivity. Those are survival." — Kristen Schwartz

"Once your mind gets involved in an emotion — once you're questioning it, dissecting it, asking whose it is — it's already yours. You've made it your responsibility." — Kristen Schwartz

"Someone's opinion of me felt like an emergency in my nervous system. Because how they saw me would determine how they treated me. Therefore they were unsafe." — Kristen Schwartz

"We've created a culture that looks outward for inner peace — blame, control, trigger warnings. And it's made people less able to sit with their own stuff." — Kristen Schwartz

"You can still be deeply sensitive without losing yourself. The goal is to feel everything — and still stay at peace." — Kristen Schwartz

highly sensitive person, empath healing, trauma and sensitivity, nervous system healing, somatic healing, empath vs highly sensitive, trauma response, emotional regulation, absorbing others emotions, inner peace, people pleasing, hypervigilance, fawn response, trauma recovery, embodiment, realized empath, deep within podcast, Kristen Schwartz, Marina Triner, emotional responsibility