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"Everything happens for a reason" - sometimes those words feel like a punch in the gut when you're drowning in grief, fear, or anger. But what if there's a different way to look at life's hardest moments that doesn't feel like toxic positivity?

In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley weaves together four powerful stories that explore whether life happens TO us or FOR us. From comedian Jordana Borensztajn bombing so badly on a cruise ship she called it "the floating prison of shame," to Imogen Carn losing her mum to suicide and channeling her rage into The Grief Files podcast that's helped hundreds of thousands, to Vashti Whitfield losing her husband Andy at 39 and reframing tragedy, to Preston O'Brien's rock bottom becoming his greatest gift.

This isn't about pretending everything is fine or denying pain. It's about trust. About redirects versus failures. About the difference between giving up and letting go. It's about asking "what can I create from this?" instead of "why is this happening to me?"

Danielle also shares her own journey through her father's death that redirected her entire career, and her current navigation of her mother's recent death - the wreckage, the gifts hidden in grief, and learning to trust the redirect even when you can't see where it's going.

Chapters:

• [00:00] Introduction - The Problem With "Everything Happens For A Reason"
• [02:45] Jordana's Floating Prison of Shame
• [07:20] Creativity as Resilience - What's the Next Best Thing?
• [10:15] Imogen Carn - Losing Mum to Suicide
• [14:30] The Investigation and The Light
• [16:45] "It's Something You Have to Find For Yourself"
• [18:20] Danielle's Wreckage After Dad's Death
• [21:40] Vashti Whitfield - This Is Happening TO Us AND FOR Us
• [25:10] Can We Say Mum's Death Is Happening FOR Me?
• [28:35] Preston O'Brien - Becoming the Inspiration He Was Looking For
• [30:50] Four Redirects - What Can You Create From This?
• [33:20] Final Reflection - Trust the Redirect

Guests Featured:

• ⁠Jordana Borensztajn (Communications expert, author of The Little Book of Influence)⁠
• ⁠Imogen Carn (Co-host of Good Mourning podcast)⁠
• ⁠Vashti Whitfield (Transformational facilitator, co-creator of Be Here Now documentary)⁠
• ⁠Preston O'Brien (Men's mental health advocate, founder Triumphant Man)⁠

Connect: If this episode helped you see your challenges differently, share it with someone navigating their own redirect. Tell us about a time something you thought was happening TO you turned out to be happening FOR you.

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A listener wrote in feeling completely torn apart by the weight of expectations. Family expectations, societal expectations, and the brutal “shoulds” we place on ourselves.

In this How Are You Really? episode of Big Stuff, Danielle unpacks what it costs us when we say yes to someone else’s vision… and no to our own. Whether your dream is travelling the world, changing careers, choosing not to have kids, leaving a relationship, studying later in life, or stepping out of the role everyone assigned you, this episode is about reclaiming your one big, bold, beautiful life.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why expectations are often rooted in love (and still feel suffocating)
• The difference between aligned choices vs paying the imaginary debt of expectation
• Why you’re not choosing between two options — you’re choosing between two identities
• The #1 regret of the dying (from The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware)
• How to share your truth with love, ask people to trust you, and stop abandoning yourself
  
  

If you’ve been feeling “confused,” this might be the truth:
You’re not confused about what you want, you’re questioning whether you’re allowed to want it.

People will be okay if you live your own life… but will you be okay if you don’t?

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:15 Listener's Dilemma: The Weight of Expectations

03:53 Unpacking Family and Societal Expectations

08:19 The Importance of Self-Permission

11:30 Living True to Yourself: Lessons from the Dying

15:06 Navigating Personal Choices and Expectations

22:26 The Role of Self-Worth and Success

30:26 Final Thoughts and Season Wrap-Up

Connect with Danielle:

See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/

But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-book

Find her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/

Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#

Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley

Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu

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Jordana Borensztajn, a comedian, communication expert and mentalist, joins the show to share how her most humiliating moments became the fuel for her career. From bombing so badly on a cruise ship that an elderly passenger told her to get off while she was still at sea, to being escorted off Facebook’s campus in a giant Like costume, Jordana reveals how comedy, curiosity and creativity helped her transform embarrassment into influence and resilience.

In this episode, we explore the surprising psychology behind stage presence, why humor can be healing and the grounding techniques that help calm nerves before high-stakes moments. Jordana also breaks down mentalism’s insights on human connection, the 4-2-4 breathing method and how following joy, not perfection, is the secret to authentic communication. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone facing fear of judgment, imposter syndrome or the pressure to perform.

Connect with Jordana Borensztajn:

Website: jordanab.com.au

Instagram: @jordanaborensztajn

Book Website: littlebooks.biz

00:00 Introduction to the Floating Prison of Shame

00:30 Meet Jordana Borensztajn: From Journalist to Comedian

02:06 The Challenge of Standup Comedy

03:49 The Worst Date Ever: A Comedy Catalyst

05:22 The Healing Power of Laughter

07:58 The Floating Prison of Shame: A Cruise Ship Disaster

12:07 Lessons from Bombing on Stage

14:27 The Importance of Authentic Connection

16:46 Embracing the Messy and Chaotic

17:19 The Power of Imagination and Play

23:16 Discovering Mentalism During Lockdown

25:09 The Magic of Mentalism and Human Connection

32:30 The Quest to Meet Mark Zuckerberg

33:42 The Giant Costume Quest Begins

34:24 Meeting Tech Icons at Dallas Digital Summit

35:01 The Facebook Headquarters Adventure

35:25 Facing Fear and Embracing the Experience

38:12 The Aftermath and Realizations

40:45 Grounding Techniques for Public Speaking

48:17 Resilience and Creativity in Comedy

52:49 Visionaries and Overcoming Fear

56:50 The Power of Joy and Embracing Mistakes

59:59 Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans

01:02:18 Final Reflections and Podcast Outro