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2023 was a controlled demolition of my false identity. But entering 2024? That’s where the real test began. In this episode of Be Clay, we are diving headfirst into the raw, uncut truth of the healing journey.

It all started when I fell down a rabbit hole after hearing about the B. Simone and Megan Ashley “Know For Sure” breakup. What began as looking into a viral internet situation turned into a life-changing introduction to attachment theory—and that’s exactly where the tears hit. I’m getting completely honest about the fear, the pushback, the moments I doubted God’s voice, and the kind of healing that refuses to let you stay comfortable.

We’re unpacking how these emotional blueprints dictate how we show up in our relationships—whether you find yourself in the anxious, avoidant, or disorganized camp. But the deepest layer we explore here is faith. I’m connecting our attachment wounds to how we approach God, how we pray, and why receiving love can feel completely impossible even when we say we believe it.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much,” feared being left, or pulled away the moment someone gets close, this episode will put language to your pain and point you toward a healthier path.

Hit subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review letting me know which attachment pattern you relate to most.

Note: This is Part 1 of a massive, deeply personal conversation. Make sure to stay tuned for Part 2 dropping right after this!

You are Loved!

Not just a little, but greatly

Not just today, but forever

Not just by some,

But by the ONE who created you in His Love

And HE's Not The ONLY One

We Love You Unconditionally
&
There's nothing you can do to change it!!!!

Listen and Subscribe on Youtube

https://youtube.com/@beclaypod?si=qY0dYDYXxviLM-l6

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You ever look up and realize you’ve been living as a version of yourself that was built to survive, not a version that was built to be free? That’s where I’m starting, with a raw 2023 overview that became a prequel to everything that hit in 2024. I’m talking about identity, self-worth, spiritual healing, and the painful moment when the “real you” shows up and you don’t even recognize her.

One of the biggest turning points is May 2023, when my mom almost died and needed back-to-back surgeries. While I’m trying to recover from my own internal “surgery” and finally choose myself, everyone expects me to do what I’ve always done: fix it, carry it, save everybody. I name the cost of that role, the guilt that comes with boundaries, and the mirror moment where I have to admit, through tears, that I’m not the Messiah and I can’t keep doing God’s job.

We also get into how the voices in your head get there in the first place. I connect childhood church life, family dynamics, and constant pressure to the lie of “you’re too much,” plus the way people can shrink you when they’re threatened by your light. I even use A Bug’s Life to explain why intimidation works so well and why reclaiming your authentic self feels like rebellion. If you’re working through trauma, people pleasing, identity confusion, or faith-based healing, this one is for you.

If this speaks to you, subscribe so you don’t miss the 2024 chapter, share this with someone who’s learning boundaries, and leave a review. What’s one belief about yourself you’re ready to question? I challenge you to really look at yourself. Is this really who I am?

You are Loved!

Not just a little, but greatly

Not just today, but forever

Not just by some,

But by the ONE who created you in His Love

And HE's Not The ONLY One

We Love You Unconditionally
&
There's nothing you can do to change it!!!!

Listen and Subscribe on Youtube

https://youtube.com/@beclaypod?si=qY0dYDYXxviLM-l6

Follow Me on Instagram

@beclaypod

Follow I Spy You Buy for the best Philly Thrift Experience!!


@ispyyoubuy

Send us Fan Mail

A deadline doesn’t change your life until it has teeth. We’re celebrating a two-year milestone for the podcast, and I’m using it as a mirror for something I’ve struggled with for a long time: consistency. I talk honestly about what finally got me moving after months of slow progress, including the truth about how I treat deadlines and why “last minute panic” is not a plan.

Then we get practical with accountability. I’m in a self-paced online degree program at WGU, and self-paced only works when you build your own structure. I share how I finished two classes in one week by attaching a real incentive and consequence to a firm date. Yes, London is on the line, and yes, my Eagles playing there makes it even more personal. If you’re trying to finish school, hit a career goal, pay off debt, or build a habit, you’ll leave with concrete ideas for rewards and penalties that keep you locked in.

The second half goes deeper into my healing journey, part two of 2023. I walk through June’s tantrum phase, July’s wake-up call that people are watching how we handle hard seasons, and the ugly withdrawal period that stretches from August through December. We talk about old coping mechanisms, spiraling thoughts, depression, anxiety, and the slow work of unlearning beliefs planted by past relationships. The big takeaway: healing has levels, and rushing recovery to look okay is how you stay stuck.

If this resonates, listen through to the end, then subscribe, share this with a friend who needs accountability, and leave a review telling me what consequence or reward would actually get you to the finish line.

You are Loved!

Not just a little, but greatly

Not just today, but forever

Not just by some,

But by the ONE who created you in His Love

And HE's Not The ONLY One

We Love You Unconditionally
&
There's nothing you can do to change it!!!!

Listen and Subscribe on Youtube

https://youtube.com/@beclaypod?si=qY0dYDYXxviLM-l6

Follow Me on Instagram

@beclaypod

Follow I Spy You Buy for the best Philly Thrift Experience!!


@ispyyoubuy