Adrian Hates FIFA

This is going to be a short one because Germany and Paraguay are tied 1-1 in the knockout round, and unlike Adrian, I have not developed “Football Avoidance Syndrome.” I love the World Cup because, as FIFA puts it, “Football unites the world.” Or “European Football,” as mega-influencer IShowSpeed refers to it. I still can’t believe he isn’t getting rolled for that.

On Friday’s show, our recurring international correspondent (and my good friend from my Argentina days) journalist Adrian Bono, founder of The Bubble, joined us from Madrid. Lauren was still on the go and tapping in from LaGuardia, and I’m getting antsy in Lisbon waiting for my residency card. Everything they say about the backlog with Portugal’s immigration system is true.

We’re in three different countries but had similar thoughts on JD Vance’s affection for his wife’s knee, but very different thoughts on everything else.

Less than halfway through the episode, a few things became clear:

* Lauren needs to know if the rest of the world hates all of us, or just some of us. As an American living in Europe, I often find myself reminding people that as a Black woman in America, I’m just a second-class citizen. Do not blame me! Adrian’s answer was somewhat helpful.

* Spain doesn’t hate us specifically, but they do hate our president. According to polls, the Spanish distrust Donald Trump more than they distrust Putin. Yes, THEE Putin, a Russian autocrat and war criminal with a history of offing people who oppose him.

* No one is buying this “everyone loves Ranch” propaganda. ICYMI: There are far too many “the World loves American culture, especially ranch” videos going viral during the opening weeks of the World Cup. It feels a bit suspicious and a little too specific. But for our ranch-loving European friends, here is a highly regarded Ranch dressing recipe that we have not tested out because no one on Team AYGT loves Ranch like that.

* Adrian hates water. More specifically, Adrian hates that FIFA has mandated hydration breaks every 22 minutes to sell more commercials. But to that I say, we should lean in. The world should have hydration breaks. I love water, and I use the hydration breaks to get snacks.

We also got into the JD Vance knee slap that feels like a precursor to a divorce, Usha’s political journey from Democrat to robot storyteller, Spain’s reaction to the UFC fight night on the White House lawn, the bipartisan housing bill Trump is holding hostage, and Lauren’s extremely informed wedding-planner theory about why the Taylor Swift Madison Square Garden rumor is probably a diversion.

Imagine being so rich you can set up a diversion for your wedding, or being so famous that you’d even need to.

Adrian is officially recurring now! He’ll join us again soon from Madrid, where he’s currently bracing for 2 million people at the biggest Pride in Europe next weekend. Happy Pride, friend.

The Germany-Paraguay game is still 1-1 and now in extra time. It’s going to penalty kicks. But will we get a hydration break before that???

See you Friday.

Maya & Lauren

Happy Monday. I just moved this weekend, which means I am surrounded by boxes, living off of potato chips and ibuprofen, and unwilling to spend a whole lotta energy litigating one tweet.

But here we are.

On Friday’s show, we had Marcia Baumgardner, a Texas teacher, a good human, and an online voice calling on us not to say things like “STFU!” It should be no surprise that we did not land in the same place on the DNC’s now-famous “Shut up, you ugly fuck” reply to Stephen Miller. But it’s not the conclusion, it’s how we came to it without shredding each other that matters.

In case you missed it: Miller posted a transphobic attack on James Talarico, who’s running against Ken Paxton in Texas. (Paxton is impeached, indicted, has multiple mistresses, and is somehow the GOP nominee. On brand.) The DNC clapped back. The internet split. So did we.

Our Takes

Marcia: You can fight hard and still keep your civility. The DNC account is a leadership position. Leadership sets an example. And the data is clear—inflammatory rhetoric is quantifiably heavier on the right. We don’t have to match it.

Me: I’ve been with the Lincoln Project since 2021, partly because they say “STFU” when someone needs a “STFU.” And as a stand-up comedian, we learn that different hecklers merit different responses. Stephen Miller isn’t the sweet drunk in the front row trying to be a part of the show; he’s the ugly f*ck trying to ruin the show for everyone else.

Lauren: Republicans pride themselves on being the moral party, but are acting immorally. If Democrats can model better behavior, we can be that for them. That being said, protesters literally threw dildos at ICE, and that, too, is a strategy. There are lanes. Some are weirder than others.

Where we landed: different lanes are fine. Activists punch. Comedians punch. The official DNC account, probably not the punching lane.

Not gonna lie, I keep playing this conversation over and over again in my head. And I’m not jazzed about it because my attention is finite and I’d rather do something else with it. Yes, we should talk about our differences on the left. Yes, those conversations matter. That’s the entire reason we had Marcia on. But we are running on limited energy (at least I know I am!), and that energy should be aimed at the people who are actively making us miserable, not at each other over a single tweet. In other words, AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS! All energy should be directed to stopping the people who wake up every day with the goal of dismantling the agencies that protect our rights, while strengthening the agencies that take them away.

Speaking of rights.

If racism, bigotry, mass deportation, attacks on trans kids, and a tanking economy are not dealbreakers for Republican voters, why would a casual STFU from the DNC be?

Who the f*ck is this audience we keep performing politeness for?

I’ve been talking about this for years. They don’t exist. They have not existed for some time. As my former co-host Trygve Olson likes to remind us, to beat fascists we have to “play the game we’re in.”

So debate it. Disagree about it. We sure did. Then let it go and get back to the work.

Lauren is in DC and Philly this week for Netroots. I’m in Lisbon, where they’re having another general strike. Field reports incoming! Subscribe if you don’t want to miss them.

See you on Friday.

Maya & Lauren