Adrian Hates FIFA

This is going to be a short one because Germany and Paraguay are tied 1-1 in the knockout round, and unlike Adrian, I have not developed “Football Avoidance Syndrome.” I love the World Cup because, as FIFA puts it, “Football unites the world.” Or “European Football,” as mega-influencer IShowSpeed refers to it. I still can’t believe he isn’t getting rolled for that.

On Friday’s show, our recurring international correspondent (and my good friend from my Argentina days) journalist Adrian Bono, founder of The Bubble, joined us from Madrid. Lauren was still on the go and tapping in from LaGuardia, and I’m getting antsy in Lisbon waiting for my residency card. Everything they say about the backlog with Portugal’s immigration system is true.

We’re in three different countries but had similar thoughts on JD Vance’s affection for his wife’s knee, but very different thoughts on everything else.

Less than halfway through the episode, a few things became clear:

* Lauren needs to know if the rest of the world hates all of us, or just some of us. As an American living in Europe, I often find myself reminding people that as a Black woman in America, I’m just a second-class citizen. Do not blame me! Adrian’s answer was somewhat helpful.

* Spain doesn’t hate us specifically, but they do hate our president. According to polls, the Spanish distrust Donald Trump more than they distrust Putin. Yes, THEE Putin, a Russian autocrat and war criminal with a history of offing people who oppose him.

* No one is buying this “everyone loves Ranch” propaganda. ICYMI: There are far too many “the World loves American culture, especially ranch” videos going viral during the opening weeks of the World Cup. It feels a bit suspicious and a little too specific. But for our ranch-loving European friends, here is a highly regarded Ranch dressing recipe that we have not tested out because no one on Team AYGT loves Ranch like that.

* Adrian hates water. More specifically, Adrian hates that FIFA has mandated hydration breaks every 22 minutes to sell more commercials. But to that I say, we should lean in. The world should have hydration breaks. I love water, and I use the hydration breaks to get snacks.

We also got into the JD Vance knee slap that feels like a precursor to a divorce, Usha’s political journey from Democrat to robot storyteller, Spain’s reaction to the UFC fight night on the White House lawn, the bipartisan housing bill Trump is holding hostage, and Lauren’s extremely informed wedding-planner theory about why the Taylor Swift Madison Square Garden rumor is probably a diversion.

Imagine being so rich you can set up a diversion for your wedding, or being so famous that you’d even need to.

Adrian is officially recurring now! He’ll join us again soon from Madrid, where he’s currently bracing for 2 million people at the biggest Pride in Europe next weekend. Happy Pride, friend.

The Germany-Paraguay game is still 1-1 and now in extra time. It’s going to penalty kicks. But will we get a hydration break before that???

See you Friday.

Maya & Lauren