Episodes

  • At Least Dad Did a Load of Washing... Her 9-Year-Old Said It Mid-Fight. That Was the Bar.

    At Least Dad Did a Load of Washing... Her 9-Year-Old Said It Mid-Fight. That Was the Bar.
    Jul 6 2026
    Have you ever made a deal with yourself at the end of a really bad week — that's it, I'm not doing it anymore, I'm only doing what he does — and then washed up three times by Tuesday without noticing? Have you ever bought him something mid-fight when you were supposed to be on strike? Have you ever lost it because your nine-year-old defended his dad by pointing out he did one load of washing, as if that was the bar?I couldn't stop thinking about a listener who did all three in one week. I texted a friend about her. I went for coffee and talked about her. I followed up to find out what happened. What she said next, I genuinely did not see coming.What we coverHave you ever declared you're done, you're not doing it anymore, and then found yourself doing it anyway — and genuinely not noticed until it was doneThe thing your body does mid-fight that looks like making up but isn't — and why it fires even when you're the one who's angryWhy your hands win the war three times before lunch — and the one-second move that interrupts itWhy the guilt fires when you stop, not when you're drowning — and what guilt is actually doing in your houseWhat your daughter learns watching a 40-year trained adult put something down — no speech neededThe slam tour — passive-aggressive cleaning, the self-cleaning oven moment, and what we're really hoping he'll seeWhy your body won't sleep even when everything is fine — and the scientific name for itThe question to ask yourself the next time your hands move before your brain does: am I doing this because I want to, or am I scared of what'll happen if I don'tFree resourcesHousehold Family Meeting Template — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/Energy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Paid resourcesADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/Related episodesEP81 — The Hidden Cost of Being the 'Good Girl' — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-hidden-cost-of-being-the-good-girl-how-the-mental-load-became-ours/S2 EP84 — Mum Rage Part 1 — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-84-i-love-my-family-but-im-so-fking-angry-mum-rage-part-1/S2 EP85 — Mum Rage Part 2 — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-85-real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2/S4 EP1 — Who Am I If I Stop Being in Service — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/1-season-4-launch-who-am-i-if-i-stop-being-in-service-to-everyone-in-my-life/S3 EP35 — You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3 — Can't Sit Down Until Kitchen's Done — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/cant-sit-down-ktichen/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferences:Baumeister, R. F., Stillwell, A. M., & Heatherton, T. F. (1994). Guilt: An interpersonal approach. Psychological Bulletin, 115(2), 243–267.Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2007). A new look at habits and the habit–goal interface. Psychological Review, 114(4), 843–863.
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    28 mins
  • MUM RAGE #4: 3 Reasons Your ADHD Medication Isn't Touching Mum Rage.

    MUM RAGE #4: 3 Reasons Your ADHD Medication Isn't Touching Mum Rage.
    Jul 1 2026
    Have you ever been on medication, done all the things, prepped, pre-scheduled, and still lost the plot completely — and then spent the drive home wondering if the medication is even working? Have you ever gone back to your GP and said 'I'm still losing it' and walked out with a higher dose, a different script, or a referral — and none of it touched the actual problem? Have you ever thought maybe I'm just broken in a way that medication can't reach?You're not. But nobody told you there were two layers — and this episode is the one that explains why no dose adjustment has ever closed that gap.What we coverThe layer that medication actually works on — and the layer it was never built to touchWhy you can be on the right dose of the right stimulant and still slam the car door for forty-five minutesWhat happens in a 10-minute GP appointment when you say 'I'm still struggling' — and why the answer you keep getting might be solving the wrong problemWhy chasing this gap with more medication can mean you end up on too much of the right thing because you're asking it to do the wrong jobThe question to sit with for a week before you go back to your specialistWho actually benefits from the story that medication is the whole answer — and who doesn'tQuick note — I share my own experience here, not medical advice. For anything about your medication or dose, your GP or specialist is the right person to askFree resourcesEnergy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Paid resourcesADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/Related episodesThis is Part 4 of the Mum Rage series. Start at Part 1.Mum Rage EP1 — 3 Reasons ADHD Mum Rage Feels Like It Came Out of Nowhere — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/3-reasons-adhd-mum-rage-feels-like-it-came-out-of-nowhere-it-didnt/Mum Rage EP2 — Why the advice doesn't work — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/mum-rage-2/Mum Rage EP3 — The delayed version (sunburn/interoception) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/mum-rage-3/S2 EP84 — Mum Rage Part 1 (Jacinta Thomson) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-84-i-love-my-family-but-im-so-fking-angry-mum-rage-part-1/S2 EP85 — Mum Rage Part 2: Real Tools for Real Rage — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-85-real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2real-tools-for-real-rage-mum-rage-part-2/EP23 — ADHD Meds Won't Fix Everything — Now What? — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-23-adhd-meds-wont-fix-everything-now-what/EP71 — When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferencesRösler, M., Retz, W., Fischer, R., Ose, C., Alm, B., Deckert, J., Philipsen, A., Herpertz, S., & Ammer, R. (2010). Twenty-four-week treatment with extended release methylphenidate improves emotional symptoms in adult ADHD. World Journal of Biological Psychiatry, 11(5), 709–718. https://doi.org/10.3109/15622975.2010.482986Moukhtarian, T. R., Cooper, R. E., Vassos, E., Moran, P., & Asherson, P. (2017). Effects of stimulants and atomoxetine on emotional lability in adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis. European Psychiatry, 44, 198–207. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eurpsy.2017.05.021Garfinkel, S. N., Seth, A. K., Barrett, A. B., Suzuki, K., & Critchley, H. D. (2015). Knowing your own heart: Distinguishing interoceptive accuracy from interoceptive awareness. Biological Psychology, 104, 65–74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2014.11.004
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    16 mins
  • I Planned the Day Off to Finally Get Things Done. By 11am I'd Done Nothing and Hated Myself for It

    I Planned the Day Off to Finally Get Things Done. By 11am I'd Done Nothing and Hated Myself for It
    Jun 29 2026
    Have you ever told yourself you'll finally do the thing when it's quiet — and then the quiet came and you reorganised a drawer? Have you ever promised yourself the school holidays would be different, stacked up everything you were going to get done, and then spent the first Monday back staring at the wall and doing everyone's admin except your own? Have you ever been the most productive you've been all year on the last week of term, and then wondered why that woman never shows up any other time?What we coverWhy your brain flies at the end of term and falls off a cliff the second the kids go back — and what's actually happening underneath itThe list in your phone called 'Monday' and the woman you've been promising people is coming — who has never once turned upWhy avoidance on a quiet day isn't laziness — and what your brain is actually doing when it picks the wrong task on purposeWhat happens when high arousal creates a debt — and why the free day might be the worst time to do the hard thingWhy 'I just need a quiet day with no interruptions' might be the trap you've been apologising for your whole lifeThe one thing that actually works — and why it involves finding a human and making them mildly expect something from youFree resourcesEnergy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Related episodesS3 — Sorry I'm Late, I Have ADHD. My Friend Has ADHD Too. She's Never Late — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/sorry-im-late-i-have-adhd-my-friend-has-adhd-too-shes-never-late/EP93 — When You Remove the Stress — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-you-remove-the-stress-and-start-wondering-whats-wrong-with-you/EP71 — When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/EP24 — QUICK RESET: The ADHD Myth of 'Just Try Harder' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/EP49 — QUICK RESET: I'm Not Lazy — My House Doesn't Have a Memory — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferencesBarkley, R. A. (1997). Behavioral inhibition, sustained attention, and executive functions: Constructing a unifying theory of ADHD. Psychological Bulletin, 121(1), 65–94. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.121.1.65Volkow, N. D., Wang, G.-J., Newcorn, J. H., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Telang, F., Fowler, J. S., Goldstein, R. Z., Klein, N., Logan, J., Wong, C., & Swanson, J. M. (2011). Motivation deficit in ADHD is associated with dysfunction of the dopamine reward pathway. Molecular Psychiatry, 16(11), 1147–1154. https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2010.97Sonuga-Barke, E. J. S. (2003). The dual pathway model of AD/HD: An elaboration of neuro-developmental characteristics. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 27(7), 593–604. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2003.08.005
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    14 mins
  • MUM RAGE #3: 3 Reasons Rage Hits Hours After the Thing That Set It Off.

    MUM RAGE #3: 3 Reasons Rage Hits Hours After the Thing That Set It Off.
    Jun 24 2026
    It's 11:00 PM. You sit up in bed with your chest tight and your heart going. Nothing happened. You went to sleep fine. You lie there trying to work out what's wrong with you, and the answer is nothing — except your body has been running a two-hour delayed reaction to a school email you read, closed, and forgot about at 9:02 PM.What We CoverThe 9:02 PM email, the 11:00 PM panic, and why the two never show up in the same room at the same timeWhy a neurotypical mum who gets the same email feels it right then — and what that looks like when Jane asks one about it directlyThe five stages your body moves through between the trigger and the moment you finally register it — and how long you can spend in each one without knowingWhy the quiet moment you've been waiting for all day is exactly when the queue decides it's your turnThe misdiagnosis cost: when a doctor treats the reaction as the whole story, what gets written on your medical file — and what keeps walking through the door every day unmanagedWhy both can be true — the SSRI doing real work, and an interoceptive delay nobody's ever named for youFree ResourcesEnergy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/Related EpisodesStart with the rest of this series:MUM RAGE #1: 3 Reasons It Feels Like It Came Out of Nowhere. (It Didn't.) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/3-reasons-adhd-mum-rage-feels-like-it-came-out-of-nowhere-it-didnt/MUM RAGE #2: 3 Reasons 'Just Breathe' Has Never Worked for ADHD Mums. (And What Actually Does.) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/mum-rage-2/Also from the archive:S2 EP84 — I Love My Family But I'm So F*cking Angry: Mum Rage Part 1 (with Jacinta Thomson) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-84-i-love-my-family-but-im-so-fking-angry-mum-rage-part-1/EP71 — When You Can't Relax Even When It's Quiet — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/EP93 — When You Remove the Stress — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-you-remove-the-stress-and-start-wondering-whats-wrong-with-you/S3 — I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes. Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment. — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/im-gentle-with-my-daughter-for-ten-minutes-then-i-tell-myself-to-stop-being-such-a-fcking-embarrassment/EP81 — The Hidden Cost of Being the 'Good Girl' — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/the-hidden-cost-of-being-the-good-girl-how-the-mental-load-became-ours/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferences & Further ReadingSeli, P., Risko, E. F., Smilek, D., & Schacter, D. L. (2016). Mind-wandering with and without intention. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 20(8), 605–617. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2016.05.010Smallwood, J., & Schooler, J. W. (2015). The science of mind wandering: Empirically navigating the stream of consciousness. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 487–518. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010814-015331Murphy, J., Brewer, R., Catmur, C., & Bird, G. (2017). Interoception and psychopathology: A developmental neuroscience perspective. Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, 23, 45–56. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dcn.2016.12.006Taylor, G. J., Bagby, R. M., & Parker, J. D. A. (1997). Disorders of affect regulation: Alexithymia in medical and psychiatric illness. Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511526831
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    18 mins
  • Just 'Find a Good Stopping Place on the Ipad' It's 5:45pm on a Wednesday. He's in a Minecraft Cave. The Dog Needs a Bone.

    Just 'Find a Good Stopping Place on the Ipad' It's 5:45pm on a Wednesday. He's in a Minecraft Cave. The Dog Needs a Bone.
    Jun 22 2026
    📬 Listener Questions & CommunityIt's 5:45 PM. I'm cooking three separate dinners on not enough burners. My six-year-old is crying about the green spoon. My eight-year-old is in a Minecraft cave with a dog that needs a bone. My ten-year-old has found paint.'Find a good stopping place' is good advice.It just assumes conditions that don't exist in this house.What We CoverThe 5:45 PM scenario in full — three kids, three meals, three headphones, zero spare burners, and what it actually costs to transition one child off a screen while managing the restCompliance depletion — why your child has run out of yeses by dinner time, and why that's not defiance or addictionSelf-determination theory and autonomy — why the iPad might be the only thing your child got to choose all day, and what happens when you take itWhy 'find a good stopping place' works on Saturday morning and collapses on Wednesday night — and what's actually different between those two momentsThe working memory piece — why your child isn't defying the boundary, they just can't hold it without you standing thereTask-switching costs for the ADHD brain — what every transition actually costs you at the end of the dayWhy you're not managing the transitions. You are the transition.The Saturday morning benchmark — why one good morning doesn't set the standard, and why comparing Wednesday night to it is destroying youWhat the parenting advice doesn't account for: one adult, multiple kids, depleted executive function, and no supportFree ResourcesSurviving the Mental Load of the School Year (Free)👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-year-mental-load-kit/Household Family Meeting Template (Free)👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/Paid ResourceMeltdown & Shutdown Guide for Mums & Children👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/Related EpisodesWhen a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids | Listen hereS3 EP44 — Why Bad Behaviour Is Rarely Bad at All (and How to Respond Instead) | Listen hereS3 EP12 — Quick Reset: I Can't Stop Snapping When My Child Does This One Thing | Listen hereS2 EP84 — I Love My Family… But I'm So F**king Angry (Mum Rage Part 1) | Listen hereS2 EP27 — Quick Tip: I Have an Antagonist in My House | Listen here🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferencesArnsten, A. F. T., & Li, B.-M. (2005). Neurobiology of executive functions: Catecholamine influences on prefrontal cortical functions. Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1377–1384. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2004.08.019Arnsten, A. F. T. (2011). Catecholamine influences on dorsolateral prefrontal cortical networks. Biological Psychiatry, 69(12), e89–e99. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.01.027Barkley, R. A. (1997). Behavioral inhibition, sustained attention, and executive functions: Constructing a unifying theory of ADHD. Psychological Bulletin, 121(1), 65–94. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.121.1.65Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Muraven, M., & Tice, D. M. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1252–1265. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1252Hagger, M. S., Chatzisarantis, N. L. D., Alberts, H., Anggono, C. O., Batailler, C., Birt, A. R., Brand, R., Brandt, M. J., Brewer, G., Bruyneel, S., Calvillo, D. P., Campbell, W. K., Cannon, P. R., Carlucci, M., Carruth, N. P., Cheung, T., Crowell, A., De Ridder, D. T. D., Dewitte, S., . . . Zwienenberg, M. (2016). A multilab preregistered replication of the ego-depletion effect. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 11(4), 546–573. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691616652873Herwig, U., Bräuer, K., Connemann, B., Spitzer, M., & Jakobs, O. (2018). Selective impairment of attentional set shifting in adults with ADHD. BMC Psychiatry, 18, Article 334. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1912-5Monsell, S. (2003). Task switching. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 7(3), 134–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1364-6613(03)00028-7Rubinstein, J. S., Meyer, D. E., & Evans, J. E. (2001). Executive control of cognitive processes in task switching. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 27(4), 763–797. https://doi.org/10.1037/0096-1523.27.4.763Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
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    29 mins
  • MUM RAGE #2: 3 Reasons 'Just Breathe' Has Never Worked (and what does)

    MUM RAGE #2: 3 Reasons 'Just Breathe' Has Never Worked (and what does)
    Jun 17 2026
    A psychologist told me to do a body scan. I was lying on hard yellow grass in 38-degree heat with three kids screaming inside and ants on my arms, trying to feel my body. I felt nothing. Or I felt everything and couldn't name any of it.She concluded the problem was me.It wasn't.What We CoverWhy 'just breathe' and body scans keep failing ADHD mums — and why that failure isn't yoursThe difference between early and late emotional intervention, and why the tools you've been given are timed wrong for your brainWhat alexithymia and interoceptive gaps actually mean when you're trying to regulate — and why you can't feel the water warming until the lid's already blownWhy some of us start every single day with near-boiling water, and what that does to a nervous system that's been running like that for yearsThe scheduled check-in — not a mindfulness practice, just a moment to know where you are before the day makes that impossibleWhat to say to your partner when they ask if you're okay and you genuinely don't knowThe James Gross emotional regulation model — 40 years of research — and what it says about the moment you're being told to interveneWhat's coming next episode: delayed mum rage, the lid that blows after the stove's already off, and why 11pm panic isn't coming from nowhereFree ResourcesEnergy Accounting Guide — mentioned in the episode. Helps you see your actual baseline and where the energy is going before you hit empty.👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/ADHD Physical Health & Emotional Wellbeing Kit (Free)👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-physical-health-emotional-wellbeing-kit/Related EpisodesS2 EP84 — I Love My Family… But I'm So F**king Angry (Mum Rage Part 1)S2 EP85 — Real Tools for Real Rage (Mum Rage Part 2) S3 EP52 — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained ReferencesEdel, M.-A., Rudel, A., Hubert, C., Scheele, D., Brüne, M., Juckel, G., & Assion, H.-J. (2010). Alexithymia, emotion processing and social anxiety in adults with ADHD. European Journal of Medical Research, 15(9), 403–409. https://doi.org/10.1186/2047-783X-15-9-403Fischer, D., Messner, M., & Pollatos, O. (2017). Improvement of interoceptive processes after an 8-week body scan intervention. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 11, 452. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00452Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781Quadt, L., Garfinkel, S. N., Mulcahy, J. S., Larsson, D. E. O., Silva, M., Jones, A.-M., Strauss, C., & Critchley, H. D. (2021). Interoceptive training to target anxiety in autistic adults (ADIE): A single-center, superiority randomized controlled trial. EClinicalMedicine, 39, 101042. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eclinm.2021.101042Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J., & Leibenluft, E. (2014). Emotion dysregulation in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(3), 276–293. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2013.13070966Webb, T. L., Miles, E., & Sheeran, P. (2012). Dealing with feeling: A meta-analysis of the effectiveness of strategies derived from the process model of emotion regulation. Psychological Bulletin, 138(4), 775–808. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027600📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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    27 mins
  • 4. What Do I Do When Being Reasonable Hasn't Worked? The School Escalation Pathway Schools Don't Tell You About - with Sara Hocking

    4. What Do I Do When Being Reasonable Hasn't Worked? The School Escalation Pathway Schools Don't Tell You About - with Sara Hocking
    Jun 15 2026
    The principal told you to contact region. Region told you to contact the principal. You're sitting in your car wondering if you're going quietly insane. You're not — and neither is the principal. The system is built to do exactly this, to everyone inside it. Sara Hocking is back to map a way out, and the news isn't what you think.What We Cover The one subject line that forces an official response — and why most schools have been waiting for someone to send itThe institutional rule that makes principals back their staff publicly even when they're moving things behind the scenes — and how to read the quiet changesThe escalation pathway nobody hands you, and the exact point where 95% of parents tap outThe strategic reason to keep going past that point even when it feels pointlessWhy teachers aren't ignoring you — Sara's frame for what's actually happening in the staffroom, and what they're being asked to triage every dayThe paper-trail trick you can do in 30 seconds on your phone after every conversationWhy you arrive at every school meeting already at a ten, and what the other parents in the room don't realise about themselvesWhat restraint, expulsion and catchment actually mean — and the policy vacuum that hands one principal the call when there should be a system holding itStop waiting for an apology. Sara explains why it isn't coming from individuals, and what to watch for from the structure instead.Free ResourcesSchool Complaint & Escalation Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/Quiet Exclusion Kit: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/More from SaraSara Hocking runs See Beyond — neuroaffirming, nervous-system-informed resources for parents and schools, including free printables you can send straight to your child's teacher: https://seebeyondau.org/Paid ResourcesMaking School Work — Parent Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/School Burnout — When School Can't Cope: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-burnout-when-school-cant-cope/Related EpisodesSara's Part 1 — When You Stay Calm at School and Leave Feeling Like You Didn't Do Enough — Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6LrYWX3eDU3LeoC12kMw4A?si=5OwOPF0oQcGjiXhwzL69zQ | Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/adhd-mums/id1686843092?i=1000753099488S3 EP8: Advocating for Your Child Shouldn't Break You — But It Often Does — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-8-quick-reset-advocating-for-your-child-shouldnt-break-you-but-it-often-does/S3 EP7: The Great Gaslighting — When Schools Say 'We Don't See It' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/S3 EP9: When the IEP Meeting Feels Like a Battle You Didn't Ask For — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-9-when-the-iep-meeting-feels-like-a-battle-you-didnt-ask-for/S3: When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/S3: Is the Problem the Child — Or the Learning Plan? — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/is-the-problem-the-child-or-the-learning-plan/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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    46 mins
  • 4. They Took Away the Village and Handed Us the iPad. Then They Told Us Not to Use It.

    4. They Took Away the Village and Handed Us the iPad. Then They Told Us Not to Use It.
    Jun 10 2026
    A friend came over the other day. She'd just done a week on the Sunshine Coast with her three kids, the whole pack-up by herself. We were sitting at my kitchen table doing that thing where you're laughing and crying at the same time. She couldn't get her kids to put the bins out because they were glued to their iPads. I said yep, same. The deeper problem isn't just the iPad. It's that someone pulled every single support structure out from under us, handed us a screen, and then put the guilt on top.What We CoverThe Sunshine Coast kitchen table moment — the bins, the iPads, the laughing-cryingThe Christmas holidays Minecraft trap — how the rules got relaxed in December and what's still happening in MayThree things that have completely changed about parenting in the last 40 years that nobody updated us onWhy mums in 1990 weren't negotiating screen time — and what they had for free that we just don'tThe anticipatory regulation load — why parenting an ADHD child is three jobs stacked on top of each other, not oneThe dopamine input the world used to supply — and what happens when you take the iPad without replacing itWhy every screen time recommendation contradicts every other one, and the researchers fight each other publiclyWe are the first generation parenting through this. There is no generational wisdom on iPads. Nobody knows the right amount. Not the paediatricians, not your mother-in-law, not the friend down the road.Free ResourcesSurviving the Mental Load of the School Year: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-year-mental-load-kit/Household Family Meeting Template: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/Related EpisodesS3 EP12 QUICK RESET: I Can't Stop Snapping When My Child Does This One Thing — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-12-quick-reset-i-cant-stop-snapping-when-my-child-does-this-one-thing/S3: When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-a-neuroscientist-says-ipads-cause-adhd-and-you-wonder-if-youve-damaged-your-kids/S2 EP22: Is It ADHD or Motherhood? — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-is-it-adhd-or-motherhood-solo-episode/S3 EP22 QUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*cking Task — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/S3 EP45 QUICK RESET: The Biggest Lie Parents Believe During School Holidays — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-45-quick-reset-the-biggest-lie-parents-believe-during-school-holidays-this-is-what-everyone-does/References & Further ReadingParent–child interaction load in ADHD households: Barkley, R. A., Anastopoulos, A. D., Guevremont, D. C., & Fletcher, K. E. (1992). Adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Mother–adolescent interactions, family beliefs and conflicts, and maternal psychopathology. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 20(3), 263–288. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00916692The collapse of unsupervised childhood: Skenazy, L. (2021). Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow (2nd ed.). Jossey-Bass. Movement: https://letgrow.orgThe case that screens are driving a youth mental health crisis: Haidt, J. (2024). The Anxious Generation. Penguin Press.The case that the panic is overblown: Etchells, P. (2024). Unlocked: The Real Science of Screen Time. Piatkus. (Named alongside Haidt because the two contradict each other — which is the point.)No strong causal evidence that screens cause ADHD: Levelink, B., et al. (2021). Association between recreational screen time and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. JAMA Pediatrics. Via: https://www.adhdevidence.org/blog/pair-of-large-u-s-cohort-studies-find-little-to-no-evidence-of-association-between-child-and-adolescent-adhd-and-digital-media-screen-timeInsufficient evidence for hard screen-time limits (2019 guidance): Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health. (2019). The health impacts of screen time: A guide for clinicians and parents. (Note: this guidance was withdrawn in February 2024 — the position above is as of their 2019 publication.)📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
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    22 mins