Episodes

  • Steven C. Law Spent 45 Years Loving the Same Man. Here Is What He Wants Gay Men Over 40 to Know.

    Steven C. Law Spent 45 Years Loving the Same Man. Here Is What He Wants Gay Men Over 40 to Know.
    Jun 19 2026
    Most gay men were never shown what lasting love actually looks like. Steven C. Law lived it for 45 years and then wrote a book to make sure nobody forgets what it cost to love freely before the world made room for it. "The Story of Bob" traces the life of gay rights activist Reverend Bob Wood, a man who spent decades hiding his relationship out of fear, denying himself the simplest moments of connection. Steven and Rick get honest about what it means to be celebrated rather than tolerated, why gay men over 40 carry grief they have never named, and what a 45-year relationship teaches you about love that has nothing left to prove. Key Takeaways:
    • Why being tolerated is not enough and what being truly celebrated actually feels like
    • What Bob Wood's hidden love story reveals about the price gay men paid to survive
    • How long-term gay relationships evolve into something most people never get to experience
    • Why gay men over 40 carry unprocessed grief from an era nobody wants to revisit
    • What 45 years with the same man teaches you about intimacy, silence, and presence

    About Steven Steven C. Law is a writer whose work bridges faith and cultural engagement. His commitment to compassionate storytelling enriches The Story of Bob with insight and empathy. Steven Law holds degrees from Campbell University and Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School, where his focus was Christian ethics and social policy. As an ordained pastor, he served rural and urban churches, before studying creative writing with C. Michael Curtis. Chief among his accomplishments are 45 bliss-filled years with Dr. William "Donald” Stroud, with whom he created Découvert Fine Art, an art gallery specializing in European Master drawings. He is the founder and president of the Law Stroud Foundation - www.lawstroudfoundation.org. He lives in Rockport, MA. Connect With Steven Website Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    45 mins
  • Katherine Wela Bogen on What Gay Men Get Wrong About Bisexuality and Why It Costs All of Them

    Katherine Wela Bogen on What Gay Men Get Wrong About Bisexuality and Why It Costs All of Them
    Jun 12 2026
    Gay men know what it cost to come out. Bisexual people paid that same price and then got rejected by the community that was supposed to finally understand. Katherine Wela Bogen is a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, scholar-activist with 600K followers, and author of the debut novel Queering Him. She and Rick get into the real conversation gay and bisexual men keep not having: where the experiences genuinely overlap, where they do not, and why assuming you already understand bisexuality because you know gay identity causes real damage. This one asks gay men over 40 to look at a blind spot most of them did not know they had. Key Takeaways:
    • Where gay and bisexual experience genuinely meet and where they part ways
    • Why bisexual people have worse health outcomes than gay or lesbian individuals
    • How double discrimination operates differently than what gay men experience
    • What it actually costs to get rejected by the community that should get it most
    • What Queering Him is and why Katie wrote it

    About Katherine In her own words, Katherine Wela Bogen is “first, a storyteller; second, a scholar-activist; and third, a joyful little freak.” Bisexual and Jewish, she grew up in rural New England. A doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, studying the intersections of bisexual identity, sexual trauma, sexual functioning, and kink, she has published more than forty peer-reviewed papers and is the host of the political podcast SuperHumanizer. Bogen’s 600k+ social media followers will recognize her as @k.w.bogen from her public-facing scholar activism. Queering Him, the first in the Avra and Kieran trilogy, is Bogen’s debut novel. Connect With Katherine Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    42 mins
  • He Was HIV Positive and Ran Toward Ground Zero Anyway: Neil Adams on Michael Dorian and the Story That Would Not Stay Untold

    He Was HIV Positive and Ran Toward Ground Zero Anyway: Neil Adams on Michael Dorian and the Story That Would Not Stay Untold
    Jun 5 2026
    On September 11, 2001, a gay man living with HIV made a decision that had nothing to do with self-preservation. He ran toward the World Trade Center and spent 24 hours in the pile. Neil Adams met Michael Dorian in New York in the early 1990s and their friendship lasted nearly 30 years. Now he has written the book Michael asked him to write. From the Pile is a debut biography that covers Michael's childhood in poverty, his HIV diagnosis at 16, his life built on compassion, and the choice he made on the worst day in modern American history. This episode is about what it means to show up when it costs you everything. Key Takeaways:
    • Who Michael Dorian was before 9/11 and what shaped his decision to respond
    • What it meant for an immunocompromised man to spend 24 hours at Ground Zero
    • How a decades-long friendship between two gay men became the foundation of a book
    • What Neil learned about compassion, empathy, and showing up from a man younger than himself
    • Why Michael's story was featured in a New York Emmy-winning profile and Spike Lee's 9/11 documentary
    • What this story says about the older gay male community and the conversations we are not having

    About Neil He knew he was gay, but dated girls, trying to live up to his parents’ expectations. Against their wishes, he majored in Drama in college, where he continued to wrestle with his sexuality while staying committed to performing. After graduation, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting, knowing he needed to come out in order to be his authentic self. In Los Angeles, he performed in plays and nightclubs and began writing comedy. A job later took him to New York on tour, and he stayed, living the actor’s life until he met Michael, which changed everything. After returning to California broke and moving back home, he left acting and went into sales. He later worked in publishing, rising to National Sales Manager before the dot-com bust. From there, he built a career in the special events industry, became active in professional associations, and even won a national singing competition. When he and Michael reconnected later in life, the idea for the book returned. He has now spent 23 years in the events industry, currently working in business development in San Francisco and serving in leadership roles. This is his first book, but definitely not his last. Connect With Neil Website Instagram - Neil's Instagram - The Book Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    48 mins
  • HIV Is Not Over: Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner on Stigma, Survival, and What Gay Men Over 40 Need to Hear

    HIV Is Not Over: Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner on Stigma, Survival, and What Gay Men Over 40 Need to Hear
    May 29 2026
    You lived through it. You lost people. And somewhere along the way you decided HIV was somebody else's problem now. It is not. Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner from MPact Global Action join Rick for a conversation that does not let the queer community off the hook. MPact works across 60 countries supporting LGBTQ-led organizations fighting HIV stigma, funding cuts, and the political forces making all of it worse. This episode covers where the stigma still lives, why gay men over 50 are among the fastest growing groups of new diagnoses, and why staying sexual, visible, and engaged is still an act of resistance. Key Takeaways:
    • Why HIV stigma has not gone away, it has just gotten quieter and more insidious
    • How structural racism and poverty drive HIV transmission more than individual behavior
    • Why gay men over 50 are seeing rising new diagnosis rates and what that means
    • The dangerous gap between available prevention tools and who actually gets access to them

    About Andrew Andrew R. Spieldenner, Ph.D. is Executive Director of MPact Global Action, an international gay rights organization in the HIV response, and Professor in the Department of Communication at California State University-San Marcos. Openly living with HIV, Dr. Spieldenner’s writing is at the intersection of health and culture, particularly looking at HIV and the LGBTQ community. Dr. Spieldenner’s edited books include Intercultural Health Communication, Post-AIDS Discourse in Health Communication, and the award-winning A Pill for Promiscuity. About Alex Alex Garner is a writer, artist, and community advocate dedicated to advancing queer visibility and health equity. He currently serves as Senior Director of Strategic Initiatives & Communications at MPact Global Action and previously led sexual health innovation and global campaigns as Senior Health Innovation Strategist at Hornet. With over 25 years in community organizing and two decades as a writer, Alex uses storytelling, art, and advocacy to humanize queer experiences and destigmatize conversations around sex, HIV, and identity. Born and raised in Southern California, Alex is a proud Chicano, gay/queer, and male-presenting person who embraces fluidity and authenticity. Living openly with HIV for 30 years, he shares his personal journey including his time as a sex worker and performer to challenge stigma and inspire others. Connect With Andrew and Alex Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    48 mins
  • Morgan Rich Says the Version of Masculinity You Were Handed Was Never Going to Fit. Here Is What Does.

    Morgan Rich Says the Version of Masculinity You Were Handed Was Never Going to Fit. Here Is What Does.
    May 22 2026
    Most men were handed a version of masculinity that had no room for grief, sensitivity, or showing up as anything other than hard. Gay men got that version and then got told their masculinity did not count anyway. Morgan Rich, coach, author, and creator of Threshold Coaching, spent decades learning the hard way that the world rewarding toughness was never actually rewarding strength. He and Rick get into what it means to reclaim healthy masculinity when you are a gay man over 40 who has been navigating threshold moments your entire life, why little deaths are not the enemy but the teacher, and what it actually looks like to stop betraying yourself and start living like you mean it. Key Takeaways:
    • Why the masculinity most men were handed was never built for authenticity or survival
    • What threshold moments are and why gay men over 40 have been living inside them for decades
    • How grief works as a teacher rather than an obstacle when you stop fighting it
    • Why sensitivity is a form of strength that most men were conditioned to destroy in themselves
    • What it actually means to stop betraying yourself when self-betrayal has been the default setting for years

    About Morgan Morgan Rich is a coach, author, and group facilitator who helps people navigate threshold moments—the school transitions, breakups, commitments, career shifts, midlife reckonings, and quiet inner stirrings that signal it’s time for something new. For more than a decade, he has guided men, couples, and young adults through these crucible spaces, offering presence, precision, and care when the old story no longer fits and the next step feels terrifying. His approach, called Threshold Coaching—Training for the unkNOWn, blends real-time support with nervous system awareness and integrity practices. Sometimes that means preparing a client before a hard conversation; other times it’s helping them integrate the aftermath of grief or conflict. It is not advice or quick fixes, but a way of learning to stay present and courageous when life feels most intense. Morgan is currently leading the pilot of his Find Your Path program, an immersive community for both young and older adults who feel caught between pressure and possibility. By living, learning, and practicing together, participants discover clarity, resilience, and a deeper sense of belonging and direction. His book, The Invitation Beyond: Reclaiming Healthy Masculinity, draws on his personal journey as a sensitive man in a world that rewarded toughness. Through grief, struggle, and deep practice, he came to see that connection is a strength and that freedom comes from showing up fully alive. The book guides readers to move past cultural noise into a grounded, connected way of living, and calls forth a new/old way of being a man. Today, Morgan speaks on stages, in groups, and on podcasts about male sovereignty and loneliness, the hidden strength of sensitivity, grief as a teacher, and the difference between the frantic intensity of the world and the rooted intensity of presence. Whether working one-on-one, facilitating men’s groups, guiding couples, or mentoring young adults, his message is the same: transformation begins when we stop betraying ourselves and start living with honesty, courage, and care. Connect With Morgan Website Facebook Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    45 mins
  • Randy Jones Has Been Gay for 30 Years and Still Asks Himself If He Is Gay Enough

    Randy Jones Has Been Gay for 30 Years and Still Asks Himself If He Is Gay Enough
    May 15 2026
    Thirty years with the same man. Kids. A suburban life. A career built on celebrating the best in people. And a question that never fully goes away: am I gay enough? Randy Jones, speaker, author, podcaster, and self-described professional storyteller, has spent decades navigating the space between gay communities that questioned his credentials and straight communities that accepted him without conditions. He and Rick get honest about what it costs to feel like you never fully belong anywhere, why gay culture built its own velvet rope, and what it actually means to own your gay identity when it does not look like what anyone expected. Key Takeaways:
    • Why gay men judge each other's gayness and what that says about the community we built
    • How living a suburban family life as a gay man creates a specific kind of identity confusion
    • What it means to be more accepted in straight spaces than gay ones and why that stings
    • Why the question am I gay enough never fully goes away even after decades of being out
    • How aging in the LGBTQ+ community forces a reckoning with who you actually are versus who the community wants you to be

    About Randall Randall Kenneth Jones is a high-energy speaker, author, and podcaster, known for emphasizing the best in people. As a journalist and as host of the podcast ON THE KNOWS with Randall Kenneth Jones, he has interviewed hundreds of celebrities and thought leaders, including LGBTQ allies and icons like Vanessa Williams, Kathy Griffin, Suze Orman, Brian Boitano, Sam Champion, Geri Jewell, Steven Petrow, Patricia Racette, Patrick Ryan, Tommy Tune, Del Shores, Michael Rupert, Joel Relampagos, Chip Conley, and Jerry Mitchell. His personal mentor list includes Pat Benatar, Erin Brockovich, The Emily Post Institute's Peggy Post, and Susan Bennett, the Original Voice of Siri. A self-descripted "professional storyteller," Jones's ability to weave humor into serious topics makes for engaging and approachable conversations. On stage, he has gained attention as a keynote speaker as well as for gender-bending roles in parodies, such as "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" and "Hush Up Sweet Charlotte." Jones has a special affinity for supporting the 55+ community, the arts and humanities, authors, and activists. He and his husband have been together for 30 years. That said, Jones consistently finds himself wondering: AM I GAY ENOUGH? Connect With Randall Website Facebook Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    44 mins
  • Jeff Nally Lost His Husband Without Warning. Here Is What Nobody Tells You About Being a Gay Widower.

    Jeff Nally Lost His Husband Without Warning. Here Is What Nobody Tells You About Being a Gay Widower.
    May 8 2026
    Nobody hands you a roadmap when your husband dies. Jeff Nally knows that firsthand. Sixteen months after losing Bob unexpectedly to a brain hemorrhage, the executive coach, professional speaker, and former president of the International Gay Coaches Alliance is still navigating what it means to be a gay widower in a community that does not talk about this nearly enough. He and Rick get brutally honest about the difference between being alone and being on your own, why grief has no engineering, how friendships fracture after loss, and what it actually takes to rebuild an identity when the man you built your life with is suddenly gone. Key Takeaways:
    • Why being alone and being on your own are two completely different experiences after loss
    • How unexpected death strips a gay man of his identity in ways nobody prepares him for
    • What happens to friendships and community after a partner dies and why some people disappear
    • How Jeff used a solo trip to Paris to start practicing life without Bob while still carrying him
    • Why grief cannot be engineered and what actually helps versus what just looks like progress

    About Jeff Jeff Nally is an executive coach, speaker, and author with 30 years of experience helping leaders navigate change, accountability, and transformation. He's coached over 400 senior leaders, founded Nally Group, and built his career around helping people move through what's hard. Then in 2024, his husband Bob died suddenly from a brain hemorrhage and Jeff found himself inside the very journey he'd spent his career studying. Today he's 16 months out, figuring out what it means to be a gay widower, and he's not pretending any of it comes with a roadmap. Connect With Jeff Website Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    35 mins
  • Corporate Rejected Joseph Federico. He Said Fine And Bet On Himself!

    Corporate Rejected Joseph Federico. He Said Fine And Bet On Himself!
    May 1 2026
    Most gay men know they are meant for something more than the corporate box they squeezed themselves into. Getting out is another story entirely. Joseph Federico, The Marketing Maven and founder of JFederico Marketing, walked away from a high-paying corporate career two years ago to build a business on his own terms and his own voice. In this episode, he and Rick get brutally honest about why gay men stall, self-sabotage, and underinvest in themselves when it matters most, what it actually costs to ignore the internal voice telling you to go, and why the queer business community is both the most powerful resource and the most underused one gay men over 40 have access to. Key Takeaways:
    • Why gay men hesitate to invest in themselves and what that hesitation is actually costing them
    • How internalized homophobia quietly kills business ambition before it ever gets started
    • What coming out and leaving corporate have in common that nobody talks about
    • How to handle the brutal days of self-employment without losing the plot
    • Why the queer business community is the support system most gay entrepreneurs are not using

    About Joseph Joseph A. Federico, also known as The Marketing Maven, is a seasoned marketing professional with over 20 years of experience helping businesses—especially queer entrepreneurs—build authentic, impactful brands. Based in New Jersey, Joseph’s boutique agency, JFederico Marketing, serves a diverse clientele—from local shipping stores and hospitality venues to authors and creatives—by focusing on human connections, storytelling, and genuine engagement. As an advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community, Joseph blends marketing strategies with inclusivity, creating campaigns that are SEO-optimized, imaginative, and aligned with each client’s unique voice. Whether promoting spooky-season offers, crafting literary PR, or hosting community events, The Marketing Maven stands out by turning creativity into lasting results. Connect With Joseph Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    47 mins