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40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

By: Rick Clemons
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About this listen

 Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!Copyright 2023 Rick Clemons Hygiene & Healthy Living Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Gay or Straight, Same Relationship Struggles: Attachment, Boundaries, and Starting Over with Ralph Brewer

    Gay or Straight, Same Relationship Struggles: Attachment, Boundaries, and Starting Over with Ralph Brewer
    Jan 30 2026
    In this powerful midlife conversation, Ralph Brewer, author of Rebuild: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man, unpacks the universal relationship challenges men face, gay or straight. From anxious attachment and dead bedrooms to boundaries, neurodivergence, and long-term monogamy, this episode reveals how male relationship patterns cross orientation lines. Ralph shares his journey from heterosexual marriage and divorce to becoming a leading voice in men’s relationship coaching, while Rick connects these insights directly to gay men navigating midlife transitions. This episode is a must-listen for men ready to rebuild relationships with clarity, self-awareness, and support. Key take aways from this episode
    1. Attachment styles, especially anxious attachment, and how it impacts gay and straight men in nearly identical ways.
    2. Boundaries aren’t about control; they’re about self-respect and emotional safety.
    3. Community and honest self-reflection are essential tools for rebuilding relationships after loss, divorce, or identity shifts.

    About Ralph Ralph Brewer is the author of REBUILD – The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man, The Dead Bedroom Fix, Divorce Panic, Red Flags, and Real Talk: No Bullsh*t Life Advice for Young Men. His work has been read and listened to by hundreds of thousands of men around the world. Through his writing, podcast, and global men’s community, Ralph has become one of the most trusted voices helping men navigate the modern landscape of relationships, masculinity, and personal transformation. Ralph’s journey started the hard way. After going through a painful divorce and personal collapse more than a decade ago, he found himself questioning everything — his role as a man, a father, and a partner. What began as his own process of rebuilding evolved into an international movement. Today, his message reaches hundreds of thousands of men each week through his books, videos, and the growing Help For Men organization. Connect With Ralph Website Instagram Facebook Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    41 mins
  • The Art of Male Boudoir: Confidence, Intimacy & Body Liberation with Photographer Trey Fox

    The Art of Male Boudoir: Confidence, Intimacy & Body Liberation with Photographer Trey Fox
    Jan 23 2026
    In this bold and eye-opening episode, I sit down with male boudoir photographer Trey Fox to explore how intimate portraiture helps men reclaim confidence, reconnect with their bodies, and see themselves through a more empowered lens. Trey shares the artistry and psychology behind photographing men—from building trust and consent to creating a safe, shame-free environment for vulnerability and expression. During this episode we explore the misconceptions surrounding erotic photography, the emotional transformations clients experience, and the challenges of navigating this profession while in a relationship. Whether you’re curious about male boudoir, body positivity, or redefining masculinity, this episode offers a candid and inspiring look inside Trey's world. Key take aways from this episode
    1. Explore how photography can be healing. Trey’s male boudoir sessions help men confront insecurities, reclaim self-worth, and see themselves with fresh eyes.
    2. Learn why trust is everything. Building safety, clarity, and consent is essential for intimate portraiture, and it transforms the entire experience.
    3. Discover why masculinity is evolving, and how more men are seeking spaces to express vulnerability, sensuality, and authenticity without judgment.

    About Trey Trey Fox is a full-time professional photographer specializing in intimate, transformative portraits for men. Over the past two decades, his distinctive approach has helped clients embrace their sensuality and sexuality, seeing themselves not just through their own eyes, but as others truly see them. The experience goes far beyond creating beautiful photographs. Many clients walk away with a renewed sense of confidence and a deeper connection to themselves - one that lingers long after the camera is put away. Because of his deep respect for discretion and privacy, Trey has been entrusted by a wide range of men- from corporate executives and public figures to everyday guys - to create striking, one-of-a-kind portraits in extraordinary locations across the country and abroad. Connect With Trey Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    45 mins
  • Glowing Up Gay: A Late-Life Coming Out, Authenticity Story with Peter Leahy

    Glowing Up Gay: A Late-Life Coming Out, Authenticity Story with Peter Leahy
    Jan 16 2026
    In this episode, author Peter Leahy shares his powerful late-life coming out story towards true authenticity. In this episode we explore what it means to shed old personas, embrace your identity at any age, and rewrite the stories you once hid behind. From navigating professional masks to discovering emotional freedom through writing, Peter’s memoir Glowing Up Gay has resonated with thousands for its raw honesty and relatable truth. Whether you’re coming out later in life or reclaiming parts of yourself you’ve long avoided, this episode is a bold reminder that it’s never too late to become who you really are. Key take aways from this episode
    1. Authenticity isn’t immediate—it’s practiced. Coming out later in life often means unlearning years of hiding and slowly stepping into wholeness.
    2. Labels can connect or confine. Understanding LGBTQ+ language helps people find belonging while honoring their own identity.
    3. Your story matters. Writing, sharing, or even speaking your truth can create healing and inspire others on their own journey.

    About Peter A self-proclaimed “ideas guy,” Peter worked in marketing for over twenty-five years. For many years, he saw himself as a coward – too scared to admit that he was gay and embrace who hewas. Throughout his 20’s and 30’s, his active life was masked with what he believed was “normalcy,” but underneath it he was tormented by sadness, emptiness and most importantly, self-loathing, Finally, he summoned the courage to walk away and eventually become a proud (and fabulous) gay man. Now happily married to his husband for over five years, he lives in California with our Chihuahua Zoey, the queen of our household. Connect With Peter Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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    40 mins
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