Ever wonder what it’s like to live in Qatar? Well M hadn’t. He couldn’t have even found it on a map... then found himself there.

When M arrived in Qatar from London on his newly-minted expat assignment, he didn’t expect to be confronted with life’s most existential choices...so immediately.

And he dragged his girlfriend-cum-wife too.

“But I wanted to go to Singapore,” she said.

“We got at least half-way there!”

From job offer, to eloping in Las Vegas (because living together out of wedlock is haram), to having a kid — and back again, “TIQ” is a humorous, if not slightly exaggerated, acerbic account of an amateur expat’s trials and tribulations waaaay out of his depth in a country, frankly, he had never heard of.

If you’re about to move to Qatar, or if you ever thought you wanted to visit (you KNOW you want to), TIQ will help you frame (and perhaps even answer) some non-trivial questions such as:

• What would you choose with your marginal dollar — beer, or bacon?

• Is it OK to eat your lunch on the toilet?

• Who’s that scary voice on the radio every morning? and

• Are traffic signs really just...guidelines?

If you weren’t planning on moving to Qatar, or even visiting — the shock, laughs and jaw-droppingly ridiculous happenstances might just even move the needle (albeit slightly).

Way back when M got his Hebrew tattoo, his mom, like any good Jewish-American, said, “Well, now you’ll never be able to go to the Middle East.”

M just scoffed and said, “Middle East? Me? Never.”

Who’s laughing now?

(And by the way: the answer is definitely never bacon.)