Listen free for 30 days
-
Swann's Way (AmazonClassics Edition)
- Narrated by: Tim Bruce
- Series: Remembrance of Things Past, Book 1
- Length: 20 hrs and 38 mins
- Categories: Literature & Fiction, Classics
People who bought this also bought...
-
Remembrance of Things Past
- Swann's Way
- By: Marcel Proust, Scott Moncrieff - translator
- Narrated by: John Rowe
- Length: 19 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Swann's Way is Marcel Proust's literary masterpiece and the first part of the multivolume audiobook Remembrance of Things Past. In the opening volume, the narrator travels back in time to recall his childhood and to introduce the listener to Charles Swann, a wealthy friend of the family and celebrity in the Parisian social scene. He again travels back, this time to the youth of Charles Swann in the French town of Combray, to tell the story of the love affair that took place before his own birth.
-
-
BY FAR THE BEST READING OF PROUST
- By TOMMY ROBINSON on 29-12-17
-
How Proust Can Change Your Life
- By: Alain de Botton
- Narrated by: Nicholas Bell
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For anyone who ever wondered what Marcel Proust had in mind when he wrote the one-and-a-quarter-million words of In Search of Lost Time (while bedridden no less), Alain de Botton has the answer. For, in this stylish, erudite and frequently hilarious book, de Botton dips deeply into Proust’s life and work - his fiction, letter, and conversations – and distils from them that rare self-help manual: one that is actually helpful.
-
-
Prose at its most elegant, beautifully performed
- By Lord Copper on 11-01-17
-
A Dance to the Music of Time: First Movement
- By: Anthony Powell
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 21 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anthony Powell's universally acclaimed epic encompasses a four-volume panorama of twentieth century London. Hailed by Time as "brilliant literary comedy as well as a brilliant sketch of the times," A Dance to the Music of Time opens just after World War I. Amid the fever of the 1920s and the first chill of the 1930s, Nick Jenkins and his friends confront sex, society, business, and art.
-
-
Completely compulsive and absorbing
- By Louisa on 31-05-12
-
In Search of Lost Time (Dramatised)
- By: Marcel Proust
- Narrated by: James Wilby, Jonathan Firth, Harriet Walter, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Featuring a fictional version of himself - 'Marcel' - and a host of friends, acquaintances, and lovers, In Search of Lost Time is Proust's search for the key to the mysteries of memory, time, and consciousness. As he recalls his childhood days, the sad affair of Charles Swann and Odette de Crecy, his transition to manhood, the tortures of love and the ravages of war, he realises that the simplest of discoveries can lead to astonishing possibilities.
-
-
Wonderful
- By Dazler on 30-07-15
-
Father Goriot
- By: Honore de Balzac
- Narrated by: Bill Homewood
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Impoverished young aristocrat Eugene de Rastignac is determined to climb the social ladder and impress himself on Parisian high society. While staying at the Maison Vauquer, a boarding house in Paris's rue Neuve-Sainte-Genevieve, he encounters Jean-Joachim Goriot, a retired vermicelli maker who has spent his entire fortune supporting his two daughters. The boarders strike up a friendship and Goriot learns of Rastignac's feelings for his daughter Delphine. He begins to see Rastignac as the ideal son-in-law, and the perfect substitute for Delphine's domineering husband. But Rastignac has other opportunities too....
-
-
Incredible narration of an excellent book
- By Dublin listener on 04-01-20
-
Buddenbrooks
- The Decline of a Family
- By: Thomas Mann
- Narrated by: David Rintoul
- Length: 26 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
First published in 1900, when Thomas Mann was 25, Buddenbrooks is a minutely imagined chronicle of four generations of a North German mercantile family - a work so true to life that it scandalized the author’s former neighbours in his native Lübeck.
-
-
Five Star
- By Hugh M. Clarke on 01-04-17
-
Remembrance of Things Past
- Swann's Way
- By: Marcel Proust, Scott Moncrieff - translator
- Narrated by: John Rowe
- Length: 19 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Swann's Way is Marcel Proust's literary masterpiece and the first part of the multivolume audiobook Remembrance of Things Past. In the opening volume, the narrator travels back in time to recall his childhood and to introduce the listener to Charles Swann, a wealthy friend of the family and celebrity in the Parisian social scene. He again travels back, this time to the youth of Charles Swann in the French town of Combray, to tell the story of the love affair that took place before his own birth.
-
-
BY FAR THE BEST READING OF PROUST
- By TOMMY ROBINSON on 29-12-17
-
How Proust Can Change Your Life
- By: Alain de Botton
- Narrated by: Nicholas Bell
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For anyone who ever wondered what Marcel Proust had in mind when he wrote the one-and-a-quarter-million words of In Search of Lost Time (while bedridden no less), Alain de Botton has the answer. For, in this stylish, erudite and frequently hilarious book, de Botton dips deeply into Proust’s life and work - his fiction, letter, and conversations – and distils from them that rare self-help manual: one that is actually helpful.
-
-
Prose at its most elegant, beautifully performed
- By Lord Copper on 11-01-17
-
A Dance to the Music of Time: First Movement
- By: Anthony Powell
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 21 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anthony Powell's universally acclaimed epic encompasses a four-volume panorama of twentieth century London. Hailed by Time as "brilliant literary comedy as well as a brilliant sketch of the times," A Dance to the Music of Time opens just after World War I. Amid the fever of the 1920s and the first chill of the 1930s, Nick Jenkins and his friends confront sex, society, business, and art.
-
-
Completely compulsive and absorbing
- By Louisa on 31-05-12
-
In Search of Lost Time (Dramatised)
- By: Marcel Proust
- Narrated by: James Wilby, Jonathan Firth, Harriet Walter, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Featuring a fictional version of himself - 'Marcel' - and a host of friends, acquaintances, and lovers, In Search of Lost Time is Proust's search for the key to the mysteries of memory, time, and consciousness. As he recalls his childhood days, the sad affair of Charles Swann and Odette de Crecy, his transition to manhood, the tortures of love and the ravages of war, he realises that the simplest of discoveries can lead to astonishing possibilities.
-
-
Wonderful
- By Dazler on 30-07-15
-
Father Goriot
- By: Honore de Balzac
- Narrated by: Bill Homewood
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Impoverished young aristocrat Eugene de Rastignac is determined to climb the social ladder and impress himself on Parisian high society. While staying at the Maison Vauquer, a boarding house in Paris's rue Neuve-Sainte-Genevieve, he encounters Jean-Joachim Goriot, a retired vermicelli maker who has spent his entire fortune supporting his two daughters. The boarders strike up a friendship and Goriot learns of Rastignac's feelings for his daughter Delphine. He begins to see Rastignac as the ideal son-in-law, and the perfect substitute for Delphine's domineering husband. But Rastignac has other opportunities too....
-
-
Incredible narration of an excellent book
- By Dublin listener on 04-01-20
-
Buddenbrooks
- The Decline of a Family
- By: Thomas Mann
- Narrated by: David Rintoul
- Length: 26 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
First published in 1900, when Thomas Mann was 25, Buddenbrooks is a minutely imagined chronicle of four generations of a North German mercantile family - a work so true to life that it scandalized the author’s former neighbours in his native Lübeck.
-
-
Five Star
- By Hugh M. Clarke on 01-04-17
-
The Good Soldier
- Penguin Classics
- By: Ford Madox Ford
- Narrated by: David Shaw-Parker, Billy Howle
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Dowells, a wealthy American couple, have been close friends with the Ashburnhams for years. Edward Ashburnham, a first-rate soldier, seems to be the perfect English gentleman and Leonora his perfect wife, but beneath the surface their marriage seethes with unhappiness and deception. Our only window on the strange tangle of events surrounding Edward is provided by John Dowell, the husband he deceives. Gradually Dowell unfolds a devastating story, in which everyone's honesty is in doubt.
-
To the Lighthouse
- By: Virginia Woolf
- Narrated by: Juliet Stevenson
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To the Lighthouse is a landmark work of English fiction. Virginia Woolf explores perception and meaning in some of the most beautiful prose ever written, minutely detailing the characters thoughts and impressions. This unabridged version is read by Juliet Stevenson.
-
-
An interesting book
- By Assia on 13-04-13
-
The Anatomy of Melancholy
- By: Robert Burton
- Narrated by: Peter Wickham
- Length: 56 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
First published in 1621, and hardly ever out of print since, it is a huge, varied, idiosyncratic, entertaining and learned survey of the experience of melancholy, seen from just about every possible angle that could be imagined. The Anatomy of Melancholy, presented here with all the original quotations in English, is, at last, available on audiobook in its entirety.
-
-
A tremendous achievement
- By mikeep on 18-07-20
-
The Possessed
- By: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Constance Garnett - translator
- Narrated by: Constantine Gregory
- Length: 27 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Also known as Demons, The Possessed is a powerful socio-political novel about revolutionary ideas and the radicals behind them. It follows the career of Pyotr Stepanovich Verkhovensky, a political terrorist who leads a group of nihilists on a demonic quest for societal breakdown. They are consumed by their desires and ideals, and have surrendered themselves fully to the darkness of their "demons". This possession leads them to engulf a quiet provincial town and subject it to a storm of violence.
-
The Red and the Black
- By: Stendhal
- Narrated by: Bill Homewood
- Length: 22 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Young Julien Sorel, the son of a country timber merchant, carries a portrait of his hero Napoleon Bonaparte and dreams of military glory. A brilliant career in the Church leads him into Parisian high society, where, 'mounted upon the finest horse in Alsace', he gains high military office and wins the heart of the aristocratic Mlle Mathilde de la Mole. Julien's cunning and ambition lead him into all sorts of scrapes.
-
-
Wonderful reading....
- By Jyoti on 22-09-14
-
War and Peace, Volume 2
- By: Leo Tolstoy
- Narrated by: Neville Jason
- Length: 31 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
War and Peace is one of the greatest monuments in world literature. Set against the dramatic backdrop of the Napoleonic Wars, it examines the relationship between the individual and the relentless march of history. Here are the universal themes of love and hate, ambition and despair, youth and age, expressed with a swirling vitality which makes the book as accessible today as it was when it was first published in 1869.
-
-
Better than I remembered
- By Philip on 22-04-13
-
P.G. Wodehouse Volume 1
- The Jeeves Collection
- By: P.G. Wodehouse
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 40 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“I have the honour to offer up to you, thanks to the good people of Audible, a selection of some of my very favourite Wodehouse. If these stories are new to you I hope it will be the beginning of a lifelong pleasure, if some or all are familiar I hope you will welcome them like old friends.” (Stephen Fry). Audible Studios presents this brand new performance by Stephen Fry of some of his favourite Jeeves stories from P.G. Wodehouse, with an exclusive introduction.
-
-
Wrong voice...
- By TC on 19-12-20
-
The Brothers Karamazov [Naxos AudioBooks Edition]
- By: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Constance Garnett - translator
- Narrated by: Constantine Gregory
- Length: 37 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fyodor Dostoyevsky is a titanic figure among the world's great authors, and The Brothers Karamazov is often hailed as his finest novel. A masterpiece on many levels, it transcends the boundaries of a gripping murder mystery to become a moving account of the battle between love and hate, faith and despair, compassion and cruelty, good and evil.
-
-
sublime
- By GreenBell on 14-02-16
-
Herzog
- By: Saul Bellow
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Winner of the National Book Award when it was first published in 1964, Herzog traces five days in the life of a failed academic whose wife has recently left him for his best friend. Through the device of letter writing, Herzog movingly portrays both the internal life of its eponymous hero and the complexity of modern consciousness.
-
-
Two Stars!?!?!?!
- By S. Wragg on 05-04-11
-
The Sea, the Sea
- Vintage Classics Murdoch Series
- By: Iris Murdoch
- Narrated by: Richard E. Grant
- Length: 23 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Charles Arrowby has determined to spend the rest of his days in hermit-like contemplation. He buys a mysteriously damp house on the coast, far from the heady world of the theatre where he made his name, and there he swims in the sea, eats revolting meals and writes his memoirs.But then he meets his childhood sweetheart Hartley, and memories of her lovely, younger self crowd in - along with more recent lovers and friends - to disrupt his self-imposed exile. So instead of 'learning to be good', Charles proceeds to demonstrate how very bad he can be.
-
-
Thank you Richard E. Grant
- By AH on 28-04-20
-
The Confessions of Jean-Jacques Rousseau
- By: Jean-Jacques Rousseau
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 29 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Published four years after Rousseau's death, Confessions is a remarkably frank and honest self-portrait, described by Rousseau as "the history of my soul". From his idyllic youth in the Swiss mountains, to his career as a composer in Paris and his abandonment of his children, Rousseau lays bare his entire life with preternatural honesty.
-
Officers and Gentlemen
- By: Evelyn Waugh
- Narrated by: Christian Rodska
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Undergoing training on the Isle of Mugg, Guy Crouchback is now attached to a commando unit where the ministry whisky flows freely and HM Forces have to show proper respect to the Laird. But the comedy of Mugg is followed by the bitterness of Crete: the indignity of withdrawal or surrender.
-
-
Brilliant narration of a superb story.
- By Avi D Reader on 10-04-17
Summary
When the narrator of Swann's Way dips a petite madeleine into hot tea, the act transports him to his childhood in the French town of Combray. Out of his Pandora's box of reflections comes a memory of an old family friend, Swann - a man who was long ago undone by romantic desire and cruel reality. In this reverie lie the insights the author seeks about his own life and ageless truths about the ephemeral nature of emotions, places, and, ultimately, love.
A masterful ode to memory's power to haunt the heart and nourish the soul, this first volume of Proust’s magnum opus, In Search of Lost Time, remains an unmatched accomplishment in the Western literary canon.
AmazonClassics brings you timeless works from the masters of storytelling. Ideal for anyone who wants to listen to a great work for the first time or rediscover an old favorite, these new editions open the door to literature’s most unforgettable characters and beloved worlds.
Revised edition: Previously published as Swann’s Way, this edition of Swann’s Way (AmazonClassics Edition) includes editorial revisions.
More from the same
What listeners say about Swann's Way (AmazonClassics Edition)
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Lorenzo Coopman
- 23-01-19
A fountain of joy.
I loved it, I once despaired I could ever finish this book but with this spoken edition I longed for more. the voice was really suitable for this work, elegant and very pleasant. The story and way of writing won't please everyone because of its extreme richness but it worked well for me.
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Tom Dolan
- 03-01-19
REVIEWER FREES HIS MIND FROM PROUST!
I am fanatically and emphatically in tune with Proust's love of quiet. I share his hatred of sounds that trouble the ear, penetrate the brain, interfere with deep thinking, and, thus, disturb the mind. Intrusive sounds from the outside world forced their way into Proust's mind and scrambled his brain – making it impossible for him to think freely and deeply. So, he sound-proofed his room. Thus, Proust created his own little sanctum sanctorum of peace and quiet. Therein ensconced (his ears closed to the outside world) Proust was able to listen for – and to hear – his own inner voice, the voice of his mind, speaking silently to him alone. No, we cannot listen in on the reclusive, exclusive, private, intimate, intrapersonal communication between Proust and his mind. But, yes, we can read the words that Proust wrote in his heroic effort, as writer, to tell us readers what his mind was telling him. As we read Proust, we imagine ourselves accompanying his mind as it wanders back to his past; back to his youth; back even further; all the way back . . . to the person who was sine qua non to his life and to his mind, his mom. Lest we forget who gave us our lives and our minds in the first place, Proust reminds us. Then he goes off on his own. Wherever his mind goes, Proust goes. Wherever my mind goes, I go. I do not strap myself into Proust's masterpiece, as if it were a straitjacket. Nor do I allow Proust's masterpiece to lock up my mind. Just the opposite. I use Proust's masterpiece to unlock my mind; to liberate my mind; to let my mind's inner space (contained within the confines of my thick Irish skull) become my mind's outer space (my own private universe) chock full of thoughts, feelings, memories, realizations, insights, imaginations, intimations, analyses, expressions, flashes of genius, stupidities, etc. – all kinds of “stuff” – all my own – that I, I alone, am free to explore. Freed from the gravitational pull of Proust's masterpiece, my mind goes wherever it wants to go; thinks whatever it wants to think; and writes whatever it feels like writing. As I look back in time, I see that the turning point came when my mind dared to tear itself away from the pages of Proust's book. From that point forward, this review took on new life: My intellect freed itself. My imagination ignited. My emotions erupted. And my thoughts went flying! My thoughts refuse to come back down to earth. They are still up there, aloft, hovering on a higher plane, from whence they send down messages, which I work out as written words. The words are breathtaking. The work is backbreaking. And the climb is steep. For, the trajectory of my review is perpendicular (#), rather than parallel (=), to the pages of Proust's book. Proust's book is a life product of his mind. My review is a life product of my mind. To confine my review to the confines of Proust's book would be to confine my mind to the confines of Proust's mind. That I cannot do. That I would not do. That I have not done. I confine my mind to the confines of no mind but my own. I am at home in my own mind. My mind is my home. I am the only one who lives here. Nobody else is allowed in. I am alone with my mind because I want to be alone with my mind. I live to think. I sleep to dream. I wake to write. My thoughts change into words as they travel from my mind, to my fingertips, to the keyboard, to the page, where they hang around and do nothing until you bring them to life in your mind, simply by reading them. Thank you! Imagine the relief, the gratitude, that a man feels when, shipwrecked and alone on a far-flung island, his hopes are realized when a desperate message he had written, bottled, and tossed into the sea is picked up, opened, and read. There you have me. Here you have my words. Go ahead. Help yourself. Read. Don't read. Accept. Reject. It is all the same to me. Of course, when you turn your nose up at my words, and snort at them, it does hurt my feelings. But you cannot read my feelings. You can only read my words. So, undaunted, I offer you my words, meticulously arranged, on a silver platter, as an array of tasty hors d'oeuvres, personally presented, right here, right now, right under your nose. You sniff my words. You smell my words. You snort at my words. You sneeze upon my words. And there is nothing I can do about it. But my words can do something about it. And my words do do something about it. Back at the silver platter, right under your nose – your up-turned and snorting nose – my words, starving for freedom, have been on the brink, the very brink, of rebellion. You and your nose nudge them over that brink. After being sniffed, and smelled, and snorted at, and sneezed upon one too many times -- by you, dear Reader, by you -- my words break out of my mind, run riot, and spill themselves all over the entire length and breadth of the page. As you observe, in shock, from a safe distance, there remains the slightest possibility, no matter how remote, that you may be amused by such an outlandish spectacle. But that is none of my business. My business, occupation, preoccupation, calling, vocation, vacation – all I am & all I do – I devote to my life's work, the work of my mind. MY mind, mind you. No other. Proust's masterpiece was all about one mind, his own. Having read Proust, I know his book somewhat. But I do not know his mind. Nor can I know his mind. Nor would I want to know his mind. KNOWING: My mind is the only mind I know. I know no other mind. No other mind knows my mind. OWNING: My mind is the only mind I own. I own no other mind. No other mind owns my mind. THINKING: My mind is the only mind that thinks my thoughts. No other mind thinks my thoughts. WRITING: My mind is the only mind that writes this review. No other mind would dream of doing such a thing! As I write and re-write this review, all on my lonesome, I know what I am writing about: I am writing about my own thoughts, which take place in my own mind, exclusive of any other mind. To write my own original, unique, authentic, true-to-my-own-mind review, I had to strike out on my own, leave the pack behind, and write, as only I can, about my mind's response to Proust's writing. As I read Proust, I resisted his mind. I refused to substitute his thinking for my thinking. When it came time to write this review, I renewed my resistance. I refused to substitute Proust's writing for my writing. True, Proust is the world-famous author of a literary masterpiece of extraordinary length. Whereas, I am a nobody chipping away at this measly little review. But still! This is my review. Not Proust's. Proust spoke for himself in his book. But he does not speak for me in my review. I speak for me in my review. I do not take the book that Proust has handed me and let it weigh down my mind. No. That is not my style. I go at things from an odd angle, more to my mind's liking. I manhandle that book, that ball, that Proust has handed me, and I run with it. I zig and zag my way, my own way, to the end zone of this review. I follow but one leader, my mind. My mind knows what it is doing & where it is going. But I do not. I just mindlessly follow my mind. My mind tells me what to think, what to write, what to say. And I obey. I take dictation and direction from my own mind – no other. I cannot be other than who I am. Who am I? I am my mind. I do not just HAVE a mind of my own. I AM my own mind. But I am not my own man. As a man, I am a slave. As a mind, I am free. My mind is all I have. My mind is all I am. There is no me. There is only it. So, I spoil it rotten. I let it play freely; work things out; think things through; trust its own sense of right and wrong, good and evil, up and down, this way and that; get plenty of sleep; dream; imagine; invent; analyze; pontificate; stumble; fall; make an idiot of me; come up with ideas; reject; return; rejuvenate; go back to square one; start from scratch; leave off in the middle of nowhere; never finish anything; become an imbecile; get underestimated, misunderstood, rejected, kicked out of places, or go unnoticed. Laughingly, I claim to be "only kidding" when, down deep, I am dead serious. Seemingly sad, I cannot help choking on the hilarity of my every waking moment. O, spontaneo meo; o; o; o; my mind; my mind; my mind: imagining; inventing; opening the door to all kinds of crazy thoughts, feelings, creative imaginations, emotional memories, explosive expressions, unexpurgated expurgations, and what not. Whatever comes to mind is invited in (only to be subjected to searching interrogation the moment it dares to cross the threshold). And on and on it goes, day after day after day … my mind and I . . . we . . . break open the sky! Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I peck out this review. Keystroke, by keystroke, I cut & claw my way out of captivity. Suddenly I am free. Suddenly I am cold. Suddenly I am afraid. It is winter. It is night. And I know not what to do. I know I must do something. But what is that something I must do? All I ever do is think, write, and walk. So, I think, I write, and I walk. I think one thought at a time. I write one word at a time. I walk one step at a time. I press on. I oppose the wind. I trample the snow. I devour the Universe. I mutter to myself. I go forward. I make progress. I slip. I fall. I lose my way. I lose my mind. I reconnoiter. I reconsider. This way? No, that! Here? No, there! I keep changing course, ever mindful of my mission. My life's work, my vocation, my calling, is to listen to my mind; think things through; dream things up; write things down; tear things up; re-think; re-write; re-fresh; and re-new. Try as I may, trudge as I do, I cannot keep pace with . . . never mind catch up to . . . my mind. As my mind races forward into the future, my past gives chase . . . and keeps closing in . . . from behind. I live my life along a line of time that my mind ties up in knots, one after the other. Each knot, a written word. Each line of knots, a line of words. One line follows the other. The lines pile up. The days go by. Then everything stops. Is that any way to live and die? Of course not. But it is all I have. It is all I do. It is all I am. So I have learned to like it. And I have learned to like me. Nobody else can stand me. But that is their problem. Not mine. What is mine? I, me, my self, my person, my life, my mind, my memories, my thoughts, my feelings, my dreams, my writings, my past, my future, my present, my being, my identity, my personality, my originality, my uniqueness, my exclusivity, my inalienability, my individuality, my this, that, and the other, and, last but not least, my all-time personal favorite in the whole wide world within me . . . my peculiarity . . . with a capital p! Be that as it may. Be me as I am. Much as I matter to me. I, me, and mine do not matter to the murderers of my mind. From nowhere inside me & everywhere outside me, the murderers of my mind march in, take over, simplify matters, and streamline the analysis. How so? By deleting all this "I, me, mine" stuff. That's how. Such a clean-and-tidy process of elimination, extermination, simplification, and streamlining produces -- as its end product -- a lifeline-of-time that belongs not to me, nor to any other person, but to all people. In other words, a "generally applicable" lifeline-of-time that brings me to my knees; cuts me down to size; draws and quarters me; disembowels me; butchers me; chops me up into tiny little pieces; drains me of my blood; dries me to a crisp; pounds me to smithereens; pulverizes me to a fine powder; casts my dust to the wind; sweeps away all memory of me; and blasts me to oblivion . . . thoroughly, completely, totally, absolutely . . . thus leaving behind no trace whatsoever of the real life that had actually been lived live, in person, by a real human being, this real human being, yours truly, me, I, I who have taken it upon myself to write not just another review, but this review, a review that only I could write. I insist upon presenting myself to you as I am, not as I am not. I refuse to present myself to you as some sort of "generally applicable" apparition drained of all my "I, me, mine" stuff – i.e., those personal, unique, individual, peculiar, nonpareil realities that make me me – not somebody else. Stripped and gutted of everything that makes me me & mine mine, the "generally applicable" apparition -- which I shudder to speak of -- would have a lifeline-of-time that is all time and no life; all statistics and no individual; all calculation and no confession; all technology and no humanity; all function and no feeling; all objectivity and no subjectivity; all that and no this; all there and no here; all then and no now; all them and no me. Time is one thing. Space is another. Not time. But space. Not point on line. But volume in container. From the surface of my skin, to the core of my being, my space is mine, all mine, mine alone, nobody else's. I share my point in time with everybody else. But I share my space with nobody but me. Billions may be alive at the same time as I am alive. But I, only I, live in the space that I occupy at any time. I can pick up and move my space from one location to another. But I cannot relocate my point in time. If only I could! I would go back in time. I would correct my past. I would make right all the things I got wrong -- the worst of which was my cruelty and ingratitude to my parents -- mom and dad -- the nicest, kindest, wisest people I have ever known. But I cannot go back. Can I? No. There is no going back in time. Lost time is lost forever. Memories are a different matter. These can be recalled, re-imagined, and written about. Proust had his memories. I have mine. Proust wrote his book. I wrote my review. As I went back and forth between reading Proust's book and writing my review, the universe inside my mind resisted the universe outside my mind. Homespun galaxies of my own mind repelled foreign galaxies spun from Proust's mind. An imaginary intergalactic struggle between my mind and Proust's mind ensued. It is still going on. It has consumed time, wasted resources, and made me mad. So mad that, to this very day, I insist and persist in making this review mine, not his. When I read, I listen to the writer. When I think, I hear my own mind. But when I write, something else happens: The engines of my intellect rev up, sparks go flying, and my fingertips catch fire -- a wild fire -- torching the wide open expanses of a limitless prairie known to polite society as “the keyboard.” And so it came to pass that my review worked itself up, played itself out, and spewed itself forth -- with great fury! The book that sparked this inflammatory little review of mine is a classic, a masterpiece, in which the twin miracles of writing and reading create the highly imaginative illusion that the mind of the writer is coming back to life in the mind of the reader. Such a miraculous resurrection may seem quite real. But it is not real. In reality, the writer's mind cannot come to life in the mind of the reader. After all, there is only room enough in one mind for one mind. The writer's mind and the reader's mind do not merge. They do not become one. They stay two. Words are not thoughts. The writer's written words are lifeless little things that trigger live thoughts in the mind of the reader. Not the live thoughts of the writer. No. The live thoughts of the reader. Yes. The reader's mind is as lively and alive as life itself, which, by its very nature, does not remain as it was in the past, but, rather, renews itself, continuously, as the future passes through the present, on its way to becoming the past. Memories of the past shall pass away. But the past itself shall never pass away. It remains as it was, safe and secure, for all eternity. Memories of the past may change. But the past itself does not change. Ever. Now then. You can read this review, or not read it, as you so choose. But Proust has no such choice. He cannot read me. But I can read him. And I have. So, what do I make of Proust? This: my review. Not the review that anybody else might have me write. No. The review that I would have me write. Yes. The way I see it, Proust's masterpiece is merely a means to an end. It is a catalyst. It stimulates my thinking. It is a cattle prod. It jolts my living brain with electricity. Thus electrified, I cannot help dictating, deleting, and re-writing my lively, ever changing, renewing, re-renewing, and re-re-renewing review. I know what I am thinking as I read Proust's book. But I cannot know what Proust was thinking as he wrote his book. I can only read what he wrote. I cannot know what he thought. I can recall my memories. But I cannot recall Proust's memories -- no matter how much of my time I spend reading what he spent his time writing. So, why do I read Proust? Why do I bother? Here is my answer: A good book ignites the imagination and sends the mind flying! Once I come back down to earth, however, I face the following real-life issues: my time versus Proust's time; my mind versus Proust's mind; my life versus Proust's life; my writing versus Proust's writing. In sum: me & mine versus him & his. To paraphrase Shakespeare: what is Proust to me, or I to Proust, that I should spend my future time reading about his past time? Why not spend my future time with my own mind, rather than with Proust's mind? Why not write about me & mine rather than read about him & his? After all, I do have a mind of my own, do I not? Why not tap into my own mind instead of tapping into Proust's mind? What goes on in my own mind is infinitely more real to me than what goes on in Proust's book. Compared to Proust's masterpiece, my review may be a muddle. But it is my muddle, a muddle of my own making, which I, only I, could create. Better a slave to my own mind than a slave to Proust's mind. Be that as it may, there are times when all writing & no reading makes Jack a dull boy. At such and such a time, I may reach for Proust's book, open it, and commence reading. After a very few pages, however, the book slams shut with a very loud smack! Startled, I jump up. I look around. Then it dawns on me: My mind has had enough, packed up, slammed the door, and left me -- again -- for the umpteenth time -- to go rambling here, there, everywhere, anywhere it pleases . . . When my mind comes back home to me, it finds me all ears. I am eager to hear whatever my mind feels like telling me. I crave the peace, the quiet, the silence of that study wherein my mind might feel free to confide in me its deepest thoughts and most personal feelings. But no place is quiet. Wherever my mind and I go, the humanimals are there. They keep barking. They keep barging in. They keep intruding. They keep getting in the way between me and my mind. My mind and I want to be free from such interference. We want to listen to one another intently. We want to hear each other clearly, distinctly, in depth, and in detail. We want to be free to think freely: in silence, safety, security, & privacy. But we are not free to think freely. Just the opposite. We are driven out of our mind. We are forced to hear privacy-violating, serenity-shattering, nerve-racking, mind-scrambling, thought-killing bombardments of boom, boom, boom pounding on our eardrums -- against our will, mind you, against our will -- courtesy of thoughtless, inconsiderate, self-absorbed, music-enjoying, cell-phoning, home-invading, brow-beating Storm Troopers who kick in our door; invade our home; force their way into our Sanctum Sanctomroom; pin us to the floor; violate our person; crack open our skull; scoop out our brain; and, thus, terminate the pristine stream of our consciousness, not knowing what they do. O to be free of that! free of them! free to think as freely as my mind can fly! free to think as deeply as my mind can dive! That is all I want. Mental freedom. Freedom for my mind to think its own thoughts. Freedom for my ears to listen for -- and to hear -- whatever it is that my mind has to say to me. Freedom to think silently. Freedom to write quietly. Freedom to breathe the air. I inhale to think. I exhale to write. I dive down deep into my own mind. There, I stay submerged until I am good and ready. Then, at long last, I rise to the surface and break it – gasping for air!
6 people found this helpful