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Summary

The Courage to Be Disliked meets The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: an essential, inspirational, wise and forgiving book that will liberate the people-pleaser inside us all. 

This audiobook will teach you how to be you.

We all know how it feels to want people to like us, to approve of us, to accept us. It’s part of what makes us human. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to support other people and help them satisfy their needs.

The problem comes when we give up our own needs along the way.

Because when we give to make others like us or approve of us, to shore up our own sense of self-worth, to feel needed or to avoid painful emotions, then we give to get. And rarely do we get what we really need.

Emma Reed Turrell works with people pleasers every day in her clinical practice as a psychotherapist - clients wrestling with the complicated dilemmas of a life in which you can’t please everyone, but you don’t yet have the permission you need to please yourself.

In this groundbreaking, reassuring and essential book she presents an alternative to people-pleasing. Through the stories of people-pleasers across all walks of life she offers insights and techniques that will help you understand yourself more fully and live more authentically.

It will help you get better at being disliked, instead of staying quiet. It will help you recover instead of fearing failure. It will teach you acceptance instead of avoidance and show you how to grow instead of staying small.

Above all it will help you care better for others, without taking on their problems, through caring better for yourself.

©2021 Emma Reed Turrell (P)2021 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

Critic reviews

"Utterly brilliant. Emma Reed-Turrell is a wonderful writer, a compassionate guide and the therapist we all long for. Every page of Please Yourself contains a truth bomb; every sentence a golden nugget of wisdom. If you're a people-pleaser (and you probably are) this book will change your life. My only regret is that it didn't exist earlier as it would have saved me - and everyone else a whole lot of bother." (Elizabeth Day, author of How to Fail)

"Realistic, non-judgemental and genuinely helpful: your one way ticket to growing a backbone. It took me decades to learn why I people pleased and how to stop. Thanks to Emma Reed Turrell, you don’t need to wait that long." (Sam Baker, author of The Shift)

"As a recovering people-pleaser who often falls back into its tempting trap, I absolutely loved this book. Informative, entertaining and empowering." (Emma Gannon, author of Olive)

What listeners say about Please Yourself

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Transformational

the best self awareness and help book I've ever read. An eye opener into people pleasing behaviour, where it could stem from, how it manifests as an adult and how to change going forwards.

4 people found this helpful

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Unapologetically honest

There is so much confusion in this world about how we are “meant” to behave. Who knows any more what is right and what is wrong when it comes to interacting with our fellow humans. At the end of the day what more can we do other than attempt to please ourselves and see how that works? This book offers a balanced approach to this process whereby we can take into consideration other people’s perspectives without it overshadowing our own.

2 people found this helpful

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People pleaser of the world, stop!

If you're a people pleaser, you'll immediately see yourself in this excellent book. Sometimes I laughed at the truth of it! But people pleasing can also be so sad. If you're not sure if you're a people pleaser, then you probably are and you should definitely give this a read in order to practice some healthier habits within all types of relationships in your life, especially the one with yourself

1 person found this helpful

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an eye openner

really thought provoking and a valuable opportunity to acknowledge the reality of why we do the little things we do.

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Very insightful and enlightening

highly recommend if you recognise that you, or someone you love has people pleasing traits, excellent advice from a trained female psychotherapist and useful relatable case studies 10/10