In today’s Ask Steph episode, we’re talking about how to cope when your ex seems to have moved on soon after your break-up — and is now in a new relationship that appears to be working.

This can be an incredibly painful experience, especially if you’re still grieving the relationship. It often brings up comparison, self-doubt, and questions like “Was I the problem?”

In this episode, I unpack why this situation feels so triggering, what’s actually going on beneath the surface, and how to shift out of rumination and back into your own power.

We cover:

• Why seeing your ex move on can feel like “salt in the wound”
• The different ways anxious and avoidant people process breakups
• Why your ex’s behaviour isn’t a reflection of your worth
• The illusion of their new relationship “working”
• How new relationship energy can mask underlying patterns
• The impact of comparison, rumination, and self-doubt
• Why focusing on your ex keeps you stuck
• How to set boundaries and reclaim your energy

Resources

• For free resources on break-ups and anxious attachment, click here.
• Check out my break-up course Higher Love here

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and confusing) questions for people with anxious attachment: is it me, or is there something genuinely not right in this relationship?

When you’re used to second-guessing yourself, it can be incredibly hard to know whether your fears and insecurities are coming from your own patterns—or from dynamics that would leave anyone feeling unsafe or unsettled.

In this episode, I explore why this question is so difficult to answer, the role of self-doubt and emotional invalidation, and how to find a more grounded, balanced perspective. I also share some clear examples of behaviours that are likely to create insecurity in any relationship, regardless of your attachment style.

We cover:

• Why “is it me or them?” is such a common source of rumination
• The role of self-doubt and self-invalidation in anxious attachment
• The middle ground between dismissing your feelings and being led by them
• Why relationship dynamics are almost always co-created
• Examples of behaviours that are objectively difficult to build a secure relationship around
• How inconsistency and unpredictability activate anxious attachment patterns
• The importance of zooming out and looking at the big picture
• When anxiety is a signal of deeper relational misalignment

Resources

• Free training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment & Feel Secure in Life and Love

In today’s Ask Steph episode, we’re exploring a common question: is it ever a good idea to be friends with an ex?

While staying connected can sometimes feel comforting after a breakup, it’s not always supportive of healing or moving forward.

In this episode, I share some key considerations to help you assess whether a friendship is a good idea, or whether it might be keeping you stuck in old patterns, attachment, or hope.

We discuss:

• Why the desire to stay friends after a breakup is so common
• When friendship with an ex can work—and when it’s likely to be harmfulSigns you might still be emotionally attached or holding onto hope
• The role of boundaries, space, and healing after a breakup
• How to assess whether a friendship is aligned with your long-term wellbeing

👉🏼 Register for my free breakup training here