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Missing The Mark

By: Eliza Fricker
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  • Summary

  • A podcast about how the school system is failing autistic children


    Everyone goes to school – but what happens when your child struggles to go? Often as a parent there is a sense that something more is going on causing the distress. A hard-won diagnosis of autism promises to bring the understanding and support families need. Instead, many feel like they are dropped off a cliff edge, and trauma grows in it wake.


    In this powerful four-part podcast, Eliza Fricker shares her experience, and that of others, to reveal the difficult process of getting an autism diagnosis, what this means in our current education system, and asks, can we find a better way?


    With the help of leading autism experts Eliza explores the pressure to “fix” children to fit in and how many children are masking their true self to survive at school. She looks at alternative ways to educate children who don’t thrive in the mainstream model. And in light of the growing mental health crisis among young people, asks how far the UK school system is out of date and in need of reform. Are schools failing not just autistic children, but everyone? 


    “My child wasn't broken, they didn't need to be fixed. Why was the onus on my child to fit the system – and not the system, to fit my child?” 


    Currently almost two million children are regularly absent from school. Many of these will have special needs – making going to school a stressful and distressing experience. But in a system that prizes attendance over wellbeing, autistic children are forced into an environment that makes them unwell. Parents who want to safeguard their children are fined for non-attendance, and face an expensive uphill struggle to find alternative ways to educate their children. Yet there are other ways, including schools that focus on strength-based and autonomous learning. It’s in a setting like this that Eliza has seen her child heal and thrive.


    How many children are being disabled by the system, not their disability?                  

                           

    Contributor quotes: 


    “The implication is that there's a gold standard human being that everybody's measured up against and if you’re perceived to have flaws then you're broken in some way and you need to be fixed. But we can reframe those “weaknesses” and see them as strengths. Which is rarely done with autistic children.” Kieran Rose, autistic consultant and trainer. 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Eliza Fricker
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Episodes
  • Seeing The Future

    Seeing The Future
    May 16 2022
    Seeing the FutureIn episode 4 Eliza looks at how our broken school system is not just failing autistic young people but everyone. What can be done to make it better?All children want to learn, but sometimes the school environment makes this difficult. The pressure of league tables and efficiency and standards can mean children’s needs and wellbeing take a backseat. The focus is “content”, not the child, and the fallout is growing psychological distress among young people. Reports show children in the UK are doing extremely poorly in terms of their school satisfaction, life satisfaction and subjective wellbeing. A high number of our prison population have been failed by the education system.How far is the current school system out of date and fit for purpose in the 21st century? How far is school reflective of children’s lives and their lives outside school any more? Is it time to think more creatively about how we educate?  “Lots of people don't thrive in our current educational system. We need to think about education in a much wider way. What if when children are going to school age four or five, it's not a question of which school they go to, it's a question of how are they best going to learn.” Featuring:Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)Harry Thompson (@FidgetyF_cker), author of The PDA ParadoxKieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic AdvocateDr Naomi Fisher (@naomicfisher), author of Changing Our MindsTom Vodden (@TVodden), teacher and trainerLiz Soper (@ASeatAtTheTabl4), A Seat At The TableDr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of MindGraham Brown-Martin (@GrahamBM), author of Learning ReimaginedResources:eliza@missingthemark.blogFacebook MissingTheMark1Missing the Mark blog Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    35 mins
  • Finding Other Ways

    Finding Other Ways
    May 9 2022

    Finding Other Ways


    In episode 3 Eliza finds out what happens when you leave the school system, what recovery looks like, and what alternatives there are to mainstream education when you know you need something different. 


    For some children the consequences of trying to go to mainstream school is devastating, and the first step when they leave is healing. Eliza talks to mum of two autistic children, Lindsey, about slowly rebuilding their children’s wellbeing and capacity to grow. She discusses homeschooling, and “special schools”, and how interest-based learning is key. Eliza visits the Self Managed Learning Centre to find out about putting autonomy first as the basis for learning, and shares her journey to finding the perfect place to learn for her child.


    “What if we reconceptualised “dropping out” of education as “dropping in” to a different kind of education because that’s what you need, and for that to be empowering.”



    Featuring:


    Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)

    Harry Thompson (@FidgetyF_cker), author of The PDA Paradox

    Kieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic Advocate

    Dr Naomi Fisher (@naomicfisher), author of Changing Our Minds

    Dr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of Mind

    Dr Ian Cunningham, founder of the Self Managed Learning College 


    Resources:


    eliza@missingthemark.blog

    Facebook MissingTheMark1



    Missing the Mark blog


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    33 mins
  • A Bad Morning

    A Bad Morning
    May 2 2022

    A Bad Morning


    In episode 2 Eliza looks at the tensions around school attendance, how traumatising this can be, and how children are masking their true self to survive. 


    Currently almost two million children are regularly absent from school. Many of these will have special needs - making going to school a stressful and distressing experience. But in a system that prizes attendance over wellbeing, autistic children are forced into an environment that makes them unwell.


    Attendance becomes the first obstacle of many to overcome - school want children to attend regardless of their mental state, but parents know school is creating distress. Teachers want to help, but are under resourced and under pressure to maintain standards. Parents are sent on parenting courses, and get lost in a labyrinth of bureaucratic “support”. To cope at school, children learn to mask their real feelings, leading to exhaustion and burnout. Until eventually the family is at breaking point.


    “I saw my child closing down. She was using every element of herself to cope with getting through each day. Then eventually came a complete shutdown, the body and the mind can't do it anymore. And they are too unwell to do anything.” 



    Featuring:


    Eliza Fricker (@_MissingTheMark)

    Tom Vodden (@TVodden), teacher and trainer

    Liz Soper (@ASeatAtTheTabl4), A Seat At The Table

    Kieran Rose (@KieranRose7), The Autistic Advocate

    Dr Chris Bagley (@hiddendepths), Director of Research at States of Mind



    Resources:


    eliza@missingthemark.blog

    Facebook MissingTheMark1



    Missing the Mark blog


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    28 mins
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Profile Image for MR J D WITT

Absolutely fantastic podcast

This reflects almost exactly our experience with our autistic boy now aged 14. Yes, the system is failing autistic people massively, and this podcast gives parents the courage and shows the light at the end of the tunnel. Please do more!

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Profile Image for Helene

Worth a listen

If your looking for understanding, acceptance and to feel safe in your current situation I highly recommend this podcast. Done in such a relatable way with compassion and real experience . Your children will thank you in their own way I’m sure.

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An important story that needs to be told.

Appreciate this podcast being available and these stories being shared. My daughter is on the autism pathway and currently too anxious to attend mainstream school. This gives me hope for the future.

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