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Summary

In this groundbreaking book, Dr Michaeleen Doucleff looks back to our ancestors for solutions to our failing modern-day parenting theories.

When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff became a mother, she examined the studies behind modern parenting guidance and found that the evidence was frustratingly limited, and the conclusions often ineffective. She began to wonder if an opposite approach was needed - one founded on traditional wisdom, like the knowledge and experience passed down over hundreds, even thousands, of years within ancient cultures.

With her young daughter in tow, she travelled across the world to observe and practice parenting strategies alongside families in three of the world's most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle and Hadza families in Tanzania.

Dr. Doucleff soon learned that these cultures don't have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop, built on co-operation instead of control; trust instead of fear; and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff introduces us to families where parents help little ones learn to control their emotions and reduce tantrums by the parents themselves controlling their own frustrations; foster self-sufficiency by safely giving kids the autonomy to manage risks and explore their limits; and motivate children to help with chores without using bribes or threats. Doucleff also talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists and sociologists and explains how the tools and tips can impact children's mental health and development.

Packed with practical takeaways, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for modern American families.

©2021 Michaeleen Doucleff (P)2021 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

What listeners say about Hunt, Gather, Parent

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Missed the mark

I was hopeful during the first couple chapters but unfortunately didn't make it to chapter 6 as I found the language betrayed the author's lack of any real understanding of what their research discovered... The author traveled around the world to observe parenting practices based on mutual love, respect and communication and yet still refers to it as "training"... The emphasis is STILL on creating an obedient and convenient child; moulding them into the person they want them to be instead of accepting them for exactly who they are right now. If you are hoping that the author eventually experiences a paradigm shift and learns that children are people deserving of respect and human rights ALREADY, instead of not-yet-ready people who need to be shaped with operant conditioning (whatever quadrant you use; positive reinforcement or punishment, using external motivation to change behaviour can cause serious problems) however you see fit, then you will be disappointed.
The narrator also struggled with some pronunciation "adought" instead of "adult", "resort" not "result".

2 people found this helpful

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Thought provoking, maybe life-changing!

This was a great listen. At times it felt a bit repetitive, but now it's finished I'm missing the gently encouraging, self-critical, surprised-at-the-progress voice of Michaeleen Doucleff. The simple story around her own daughter was the thread and kept things moving. If only half of what she described were lasting changes she saw in her daughter, then the practices and mindset she describes are worth a serious go. The daughter is now so many years older and one wonders how things are going now. Much of this resonates with me as a parent in the fast-moving modern world who remembers a simpler childhood, let alone realising that modern western parenting and childhood are an aberration. One could try a few things that are suggested in one's own family. Or one could reach out wider to school, family and neighbourhood to actively try to create the kind of community that will foster the healthy development in our children that we all strive for. The question is how to apply the lessons of Hunt Gather Parent to one's own situation, but if you are thinking that then that is half the battle already.

1 person found this helpful

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The most liberating and refreshing parenting book

This is a must-read and must-listen book! Liberating, refreshing, genuine and heart-centred. It's about teaching adults to treat children with the love, respect, compassion and autonomy that they deserve instead of treating them like aliens that need to be constantly controlled. This is a thought-provoking book and if I had this book a few years ago, it would have made everybody's life so much easier. Thank you Michaeleen Douclef for giving us "Hunt, Gather, Parent". I feel so much more relaxed and assured as a parent having read this book.

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Brilliant

Really interesting and will definitely be reading again soon. Highly recommend to those working with or have children.

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One of my all time most important reads

Loved every minute of listening to this incredible book. I’m going to have to buy it in physical form though to more easily find the tips!

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Really wanted to like it...

I just gave up on this book and I wont be finishing it. I really wanted to love it and there are some great takeaway snippets that are respectful but I stopped listening when the author claimed that ignoring your child and walking away is a good parenting strategy. A VERY naive glimpse into parenting in other cultures without loads of considerations. The author seems to have adopted all of the strategies without question because of her ignorant view that she has found something new. It absolutely isn't gentle or respectful to call your child a baby when they don't do what you want or threaten to throw their toys in the bin when they don't help tidy. This book would have been much better as an objective look into other parenting styles as opposed to the author telling the readers that what she has found is the way to do it. I read and love parenting books by Alfie Kohn and Phillipa Perry. This book is naive and disrespectful in so many ways.

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this book could change the world

in a nutshell: be what you want to see in the world...specifically, in you child.

if you want a Zen child, be Zen. monkey see, monkey do. model what you want your child to express. simples.

I enjoyed this book tremendously. to be honest, it simply confirmed what I suspected. Western culture is the outlier on this planet and produces relatively horrible children, relative to indigenous cultures. it's no surprise our culture is the one making a pigs ear of our beautiful planet.

This book could easily be categorised under self-development, since we are the ones who need to grow into mature adults if we are to model one for our offspring.

couldn't recommend more. btw, the above opinions are mine, not the authors.

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But...

Probably 50% of this book is bs. But... A week after starting the book my baby now hangs laundry, folds laundry, puts it in place, puts things in the dishwasher, takes them out, puts them in place, scrambles eggs, pours them into a hot pan, cuts soft stuff, and puts books on the shelves.

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Poor message

For anyone with basic knowledge of respectful parenting this book doesn’t add much and has somewhat irritating examples from the writer.

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A revelation

Prepare to be amazed. The super parents around the world have some tips and tricks that will change western culture for the better. I am in love with this book!

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  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 10-11-21

Great perspective on parenting

Fantastic book with very useful parenting techniques and ideas. Would love the audio book to come with a contents page which links to the minutes of the book.

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  • Amazon Kunde
  • 30-06-21

A new take on parenthood

An eye opening study/documentary of 3 different communities, their parenting style and its effect on thier their children, in traits like confidence, calmness, helpfulness, responsibility and relationships. Offers very actionable insights for day to day parenting that is more enjoyable, much less stressful and improves child development and parent-child relationship.

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  • Cd
  • 16-06-21

It’s great to hear another view on parenting

If you search for answers in how to parent in a different way, this book makes you think! I can’t wait to try it out! De