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Blackout

Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget
Narrated by: Sarah Hepola
Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (139 ratings)

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Summary

It's such a savage thing to lose your memory, but the crazy thing is it doesn't hurt one bit. A blackout doesn't sting or stab or leave a scar when it robs you. Close your eyes and open them again. That's what a blackout feels like.

For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was 'the gasoline of all adventure'. She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened 21st-century woman.

But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy?

She apologized for things she couldn't remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.

A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, Blackout is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure - the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried as well as the confidence, intimacy and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle.

Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent themselves or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most - but getting yourself back in return.

©2015 Sarah Hepola (P)2015 Hachette Audio

What members say

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Very honest and open, totally inspired

I loved it, it has always helped me on my recovery journey. Familiar stories and scenarios. Thank you for sharing Sarah

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Brutally honest

I'm sure this wouldn't be to everyone's taste but I thought it was brutally honest, very sincere and an insightful telling into the mind of what is not the uncommon 21st century woman. Found it very easy to relate to some parts and appreciated the unique approach to a topic which is often under rug swept.
Thought the author did a brilliant job and I would really recommend it to any woman who has ever gotten a little carried away in the drinking culture of today.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Amazing ...

Just finished this with tears in my eyes - a frighteningly familiar story that resonates so much and provides so much hope too. I'm going to start listening to this again straight away as I've only been sober for 7 days and it has definitely helped strengthen my resolve and made me realise that I'm not alone in how I'm feeling right now.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Loved it.

Wow. Loved this. Beautiful writing. Every word and emotion sunk in. Such an honest insight into her life.

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Couldn't out it down

What a great book ... Sometimes hard to listen to but honest clear ... Made a lot of sense to thing's in my own life I hadn't really thought about

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beautiful, moving and well written

loved this book, a very brave account of her experiences with alcohol dependence throughout her life and the road to sobriety. grateful for such an insightful read

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such a great read <br />

loved this book the narrator 's strong American accent put me off at first but got used to it !!

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Brutally honest

A long tale. I struggled to relate to the American professional who often moves around as I’m soo not that person. But did relate to the relationships with alcohol and humans and feelings of not knowing myself. That inspired me. I did cry at the cat so sad to lose the one real constant. Sad there was no pink cloud for Sarah.

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Didn’t finish it

I quite liked this but did prefer other sober reads. I found the part where she got sober less interesting and it felt long. I didn’t finish it.

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We all know this story and how it ends

It’s fine. I don’t learn anything new but the anecdotes are always unique from one alcoholic to another. The author is a little too weighted on the poetic side for what’s basically an alcoholic recounting a tale of life with alcoholism, and then without. It’s fine.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-12-18

Hated it!

I kept thinking let me give it another chance but it was a complete waste of my time. Didn't like her narration and also didn't like hearing about her life in every single detail. It was boring and exhausting. Wouldn't recommend it