Blackout cover art

Blackout

Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget

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Blackout

By: Sarah Hepola
Narrated by: Sarah Hepola
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About this listen

It's such a savage thing to lose your memory, but the crazy thing is it doesn't hurt one bit. A blackout doesn't sting or stab or leave a scar when it robs you. Close your eyes and open them again. That's what a blackout feels like.

For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was 'the gasoline of all adventure'. She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened 21st-century woman.

But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy?

She apologized for things she couldn't remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.

A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, Blackout is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure - the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried as well as the confidence, intimacy and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle.

Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent themselves or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most - but getting yourself back in return.

©2015 Sarah Hepola (P)2015 Hachette Audio
Addiction & Recovery Alcoholism Mental Health Awareness Social Sciences Substance abuse Inspiring Thought-Provoking Heartfelt Adventure Comedy

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All stars
Most relevant
Just finished this with tears in my eyes - a frighteningly familiar story that resonates so much and provides so much hope too. I'm going to start listening to this again straight away as I've only been sober for 7 days and it has definitely helped strengthen my resolve and made me realise that I'm not alone in how I'm feeling right now.

Amazing ...

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Wow. Loved this. Beautiful writing. Every word and emotion sunk in. Such an honest insight into her life.

Loved it.

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loved this book, a very brave account of her experiences with alcohol dependence throughout her life and the road to sobriety. grateful for such an insightful read

beautiful, moving and well written

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A long tale. I struggled to relate to the American professional who often moves around as I’m soo not that person. But did relate to the relationships with alcohol and humans and feelings of not knowing myself. That inspired me. I did cry at the cat so sad to lose the one real constant. Sad there was no pink cloud for Sarah.

Brutally honest

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A very good and involving story. Good writing, good audio narration. However, the bit about god spoiled it for me. I wish the author wouldnt so definitively (and so ignorantly) claim that we all need god. I wish she read more on this toppic before including her conclusion in a book. I dont believe in god and Im happy and not addicted of anything. There is many more people like me.

Very good but

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