Self Ill

A baby no one knows about. A dangerous hidden identity. Hookups that are off-limits. A parent whose problems your friends won't understand. Everyone keeps secrets - from themselves, from their families, from their friends - and secrets have a habit of shaping lives around them.

We quickly became the typical I-must-talk-to-you-every-night-and-drive-over-to-your-house-at-10-p.m.-because-I-absolutely-cannot-go-to-sleep-if-I'm-not-in-the-same-bed-as-you couple falling in love...But just as quickly our honeymoon period came to an end. At first it wasn't clear. And then it was very clear. And then it was so fucking clear that John and I found ourselves driving to Beverly Hills for couples therapy.

Fading are the days of direct communication by phone or in person, which have immediate responses and clarifications. The immediate feedback loop has been replaced by "broken loops" of communication. Now, due to hundreds of emails and texts, endless waiting, perpetual unreturned messages, and unlimited misunderstanding, we are in a Dyscommunication Crisis. This gives rise to the "Dyscommunication Syndrome" - a cluster of symptoms that comes together and repeats when our message is not returned, including anxiety, worst-case scenarios, catastrophizing, and negative loops of thinking.