Dragon Fantasy Humour

Marching through mud just isn't as much fun as they say. After years of surviving in Adrilankha by practicing the trade I know best - killing people for a living - suddenly I'm in the last place any self-respecting assassin wants to be: the army. Worse, I'm right in the middle of a apocalyptic battle between two sorcerous armies, and everyone expects me to play a role they won't explain. All I've got between me and the worst kind of death is my wits. Oh, and a smart-mouthed winged lizard.

For many generations, Fin's family has been growing potatoes with a "secret" ingredient. That secret was discovered long ago when a farmer found a dragon's favorite place to produce what was discovered to be the best thing to make potatoes grow. Years later, Fin finds out that these potatoes come with side effects, but not until after he leaves home and realizes that he could really use a little dragon magic to get him out of his predicament.

Aram thinks he’s nothing but a misfit from a small fishing village in a dark corner of the world. As far as Aram knows, he has nothing, with hardly a possession to his name other than a desire to make friends and be accepted by those around him, which is something he’s never known. But Aram is more. Much, much more. Unknown to him, Aram bears within him a gift so old and rare that many people would kill him for it, and there are others who would twist him to use for their own sinister purposes.

Omega Yitro has given up hope he’ll ever find a mate. At thirty-eight, his peak fertile years are behind him, and now that he’s pregnant as a surrogate for the pack alpha and his mate, no one will want him. He’s okay with that. He’s fulfilling his dream of becoming a dad and has all he needs, including friends, like his roommate, Duer, whom he has grown close to. When Fallon, a new dragon omega, moves into their cabin, he fits right in. Three men, all with considerable baggage, connect in ways they never expect. They spend a lot of time together, forging a closer bond every day.

To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. There’s Katie, his apprentice. She’s brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. She’s also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. There’s Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Everton’s history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods).

Ghost underestimated me. Judas likely didn’t think of me at all. Wolf pitied me. To them, I was a peculiar jokester, a shameless flirt, and a restless musician. Brothers and lovers often trivialized the gifts of their counterparts.

As time runs down for the players trapped by the evil Lich-Lord in the hyper-realistic MMORPG Fantasy Realms Online, Kromgorn the Barbarian is still stuck playing as the gorgeous, pleasure-fueled Lacey the Courtesan, a character designed to level fastest when she’s getting busy with every NPC in sight. The action is hot, the stakes are high, and Lacey will need to pull out every skill she can muster if she wants to win the day.

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: A giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes", "levels", and "quests", Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

Lilian: I may have survived my time with the Colombian cartel, but it nearly broke me. Even now, I can’t stand to be touched by men. But there’s one man who makes me feel safe. Dragon. He’s intrigued me for so long. I never counted on things getting heated between us, or me ending up pregnant. He made it clear he doesn’t want me, or a baby, so I ran. I thought I’d found sanctuary with the Reckless Kings, but it only put me in the crosshairs of a lunatic intent on revenge.

Photographer Eddie Drake had expected a challenge when he joined the archaeological expedition to the lost city of El Lobo, but he was unprepared for the bizarre terrors that lurked beneath the Mexican mesa.

Aurican and Darlantan, mighty serpents of gold and silver, have been nurtured in a world of wisdom, meditation, and sublime faith. On the other side of Ansalon, Crematia, a dragon of red, inherits the Dark Queen's legacy of betrayal, violence, conquest, and plunder. The advent of a worldwide war sweeps these powerful beings and many more into desperate strife. Battles rage over Krynn with a fury that threatens to annihilate nations and whole races - even dragonkind.

A kingdom divided. A reluctant hero. A choice that could seal its fate. Neill never wanted to lead. Once a simple foot soldier for his father, he now faces an impossible mission: unite the fractured Middle Kingdom against the rising threat of the rogue sorcerer Ansall and his dragon, Zaxx. Doubt weighs heavy on Neill’s heart as he questions his ability to lead an army—especially with the lives of so many depending on his choices.

In Dragon Magic, the fourth book of the Haven Series, the Kindred call upon Brand for help. Things are not right in their kingdom beneath Snowdon. Modi has led a treasure-hunting expedition deep into the Everdark, a place where spine-terrors, blind croaking things, and great wurms reside. But it's been weeks; Modi is overdue, and the Gudrin fears the worst. Brand journeys into the magnesium bowels - and beyond - and discovers things buried there that he wishes he had never disturbed.

Van Vanyushin doesn't see the point in ever leaving the beautiful digital world of the game he loves - and for good reason. In the industrial wasteland he calls home, it is often the only way people can experience life's simplest pleasures. But his allegiance to the game is tested when an ambitious CIA agent named Sang Ngo calls upon him to help as she goes undercover in the game to investigate Draco - the corporation responsible for creating the massively popular role-playing game Dragon Kings of the New World.

Murland Kadabra has always dreamed of becoming a great wizard. However, at age 19, the young apprentice has yet to successfully cast a single spell. He has been reduced to grounds keeper of Abra Tower, and has become the laughing stock of the wizarding school. But when the Most High Wizard Kazimir chooses him to be one of the five Champions of the Dragon, Murland's life changes forever.

In Book One of The Microvita Tree, the intrepid Doctor Dogalogue travels to Earth in the 14th century to recover the last remaining seed of the microvita tree in the long-submerged ruins of Atlantis. If he can find the seed and replant it, this magical tree, when it blossoms, will release a flood of spiritual energy that will transform the planet, ushering in a golden age of enlightened consciousness. But the only ones who know how to find Atlantis are Nefarious, the evil wizard, and Joe, the most fearsome dragon in the universe.

With the blood of a Dragon on his hands, Anuka Sandbar and his friends flee from the horde of Dragons hunting them. Desperate for a weapon to use against the Dragons, Anuka assembles a band of professional thieves and thugs to infiltrate a secret dungeon.

The Remarkable History of the Legendary Christmas Dragon: How an Innocent Young Dragon Found a Forever Friend, a Name, and became Santa's Pocket Alarm. ("No more Clement Moores!") This imaginative American fable for the Holidays confronts the mysteries of dragons, vampire bats, sea serpents, time travel and the North Pole with wry, heartwarming humor as the pleasant, ordinary lives of the citizens of a tiny Medieval kingdom are interrupted by an angry witch "vanishing" their beloved royal twins.

I never should have let Steph drag me to that psychic fair. Metaphysical nonsense doesn’t suit me, Seattle doesn't suit me, and I think I might be allergic to patchouli. I’m definitely allergic to car accidents, to giant elk falling from the sky, and most importantly, to the huge blue dragon that’s attached its obnoxious tail to my navel.

Thirteen years ago Oliver's father died in a battle against Red Line, the nasty dragon that plagued Aardland. Oliver has since grown into a very large man with little ambition, earning him a new name: The Lump. When Flynn, a glory seeking adventurer, and Meena, a mysterious foreign girl, arrive with news that Red Line has stirred once again, the Lump finds himself reluctantly embroiled in a quest to defeat the dragon.