Showing results by publisher "Podium Audio" in Humorous

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

The Aftermath of a stunning victory—especially an unexpected, complete, and final victory—should be high-fives all around, listening to politicians give boring congratulatory speeches, and a well-deserved rest for the Merry Band of Pirates. Yes, the galaxy is still a freakin' mess, but that is nothing new, and for a change, that can be someone else's problem. Until, you know, something really bad happens, and only the Pirates can deal with the problem... Or not.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

The Merry Band of Pirates stopped the enemy from stealing a Sentinel, and destroyed its Elder starship, so why weren’t the Pirates planning a victory party? The enemy was not what they thought it was. It was much, much worse.

Vance Turbo, Hero of Space, has spent most of his hard-won officer's career helping refugees. This ends when a star gets blown up and he accidentally ends up saving everyone. Now the captain of the E.S.S Ares, he is on a goodwill mission to Contested Space. Unfortunately, his crew is made up of people who couldn't qualify for Space Academy but are now in thanks to lowered enlistment standards.

When alien species converge on Earth, each enlisting the help of humans, only one author has the testicular fortitude to envision the madness that ensues: Jeremy Robinson. In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal...

Micah, Jess, and the ever-loyal Golden Retriever, Grover, seek refuge in the snowy seclusion of a New Hampshire farm, along with their new Kynolari friends. As winter's grip tightens, so does the Draun's hold on Earth. The signal sent by the Visionary has awakened the Draun DNA inside two hundred and fifty million humans, the number increasing every day. Nowhere is safe, and humanity is on the brink of unimaginable chaos. Forced to flee after a devastating attack on the farm, the heroes are scattered, pursuing desperate gambits across the globe.

What would the world be like if video game rules suddenly applied? Marcus is about to find out. After a freak accident, he finds himself stuck between a game and the real world. He’ll need to fight his way through football hooligans, carnies, and the dreaded RNG to get to the final boss and save the world. Anything less means it’s game over for good. Along the way, he’ll learn new skills, chase epic loot, and, most importantly of all, level up!

Contains books one and two of the Shattered Alliance series. Shattered Alliance, book 1 The galaxy will never be the same again. A surprise attack during a routine First Contact ceremony turns the Alliance's flagship into a firework display over the desert planet Shandor and lands Captain...

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

Jack was told that, one day, he'd have to fight to protect what he and the others have built. That day just knocked on his door and said it was time to retire. Men representing a real-world corporation have shown up in the game, and they are all but demanding Jack sell All Trades, Inc. for a fraction of what it's worth. Not realizing how big his operation is, Jack has to figure out who they are and what they're planning before they realize just how much he's worth...and what he has to lose.

Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.

The Antithesis want nothing more than to consume other worlds, altering their environments and birthing armies of monsters to continue their spread across the galaxy. Their next target is Earth, but with hundreds of Samurai protecting their home, it will be no easy victory. Taking root on Mars and its moons, the Antithesis have concocted a plan for the ultimate cosmic takeover: transform Phobos into a living satellite and hurtle it toward Earth.

After as much as the company has practiced bugging out, you wouldn't think that loading up a few hundred folks and their belongings would be that tough, would you? Well, if that's what you think, you haven't met our shepherd. Tag along and see how they come up with solutions to problems they didn't even know they had.

The megacity of New Montreal is under constant threat by the Antithesis, aliens who have transformed the landscape to produce swarms of creatures that feed on everything in their path. The city's infrastructure is in disrepair, and the politicians and corporations responsible for its maintenance have been slacking off, leaving angry citizens to fend for themselves.

Not long ago, NSLICE-00P—short for Non-Standard Leashed-Intelligence Cybernetic Enforcer—performed her job with cold, calculated, merciless obedience. When she was ordered to destroy something, it got seriously destroyed. Unfortunately, that led her to take out her own creator before he created her, casting the cyborg out of her reality and into a world of magic, levels, and skills, with her very own dungeon core and no one to tell her what to do. As it turned out, fate put NSLICE-00P in the right place at the right time: she's become a legit heroine in this new existence.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

Mitch's mediocre life has just taken a turn for the worse, so his buddy tries to cheer him up by showing him a secret starship. Unfortunately, everything goes south when hostile aliens arrive. In an effort to save his buddy and the starship from the aliens, Mitch does the obvious thing: he accidentally warps hundreds of light-years away. Marooned in a distant star cluster, Mitch is forced to deal with a snarky teenage AI, a rogue auto-pilot, and a beautiful alien soldier who's ready to steal his ship at any moment—so she can fight an oppressive military faction, of course.

Old Guns, meet Young Guns. Try not to shoot each other. Frank Cage and Martin Kelvin thought they'd be awarded medals and a lifetime of beer for coming out of retirement to fight the living nightmare known as the Hollow. Instead, they became fugitives from the Colonial Shield Federation when...