Showing results by publisher "Podium Audio" in Humorous

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

The Merry Band of Pirates stopped the enemy from stealing a Sentinel, and destroyed its Elder starship, so why weren’t the Pirates planning a victory party? The enemy was not what they thought it was. It was much, much worse.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

The Aftermath of a stunning victory—especially an unexpected, complete, and final victory—should be high-fives all around, listening to politicians give boring congratulatory speeches, and a well-deserved rest for the Merry Band of Pirates. Yes, the galaxy is still a freakin' mess, but that is nothing new, and for a change, that can be someone else's problem. Until, you know, something really bad happens, and only the Pirates can deal with the problem... Or not.

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

A kinetic manipulator who can turn vibrations into devastating shockwaves, Rattles, has already torn through Eauclaire's defenses. Buildings are in ruins, heroes are falling, and now he's coming for the city's criminal mastermind herself. But a certain gang of teenage girls—who wield powers drawn from the animal kingdom—stands in his way . . . Loyal and cunning, they wreak havoc in the name of their leader, known as the Boss. And thanks to their fight to tip the scales in the war between good and evil, evil always comes out ahead. But the Boss is no hardened villain.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

Have you ever had a bad day? Sergeant Paul Mitchell had. It was the kind of bad day where nothing went right, everything that could go wrong went wrong, and everyone died. He knew that was always a possibility in the marines, but it really sucked when it happened to you: it wasn't your fault, and you still took the fall for everything. With his career dead and buried, he's forced to make it as a freelancer; a jack of all trades but a master of none. Just when he thought life couldn't get any worse a couple of stupid kids proved him wrong...again.

Bob thought he was going to get to enjoy a little downtime on Charlie's planet. You don't need to be told that our shepherd had other ideas, do you? Bert and Ernie find a bot, new, but old, with quite a story to tell. Then Jossi and Lakki blow their cover and need rescuing. A lot of work to get done to get back to Earth in time for a wedding. Come watch Bob and the crew get it all done.

Dan's cats are acting weird. One has grown into a strength powerhouse, the other wants to communicate... verbally. And now other kitties have begun to go missing from his quiet suburban street. Could the man in the parka that haunts a nearby industrial estate have answers? Or perhaps it's something to do with the strange disappearing woman in the woods? Can our hero figure out the conspiracy before it turns into a catastrophe?

It's time for Bob to square some things away with the Commonwealth. Rules are rules, though, and that means two weeks in a ship with no gravity. When they get where they're going, they still have a bureaucracy that hasn't changed in a thousand years to get through. Come along and see the adventures of the crew of the good ship BS Karen.

The thing about Artem... It's a damn hard city to live in if you haven't got creds, and for creds, you need opportunities. The thing about opportunities... They're thin on the ground for Orcs, one of the most reviled races in the sprawling city. If you happen to be an Orc left for dead on the frontlines of Artem's roving monster problem and stranded outside its immense city walls, then you're doubly screwed—like Oshbob. The thing about Oshbob... He's tough, and he's pissed! With a will to survive like few others, he's determined never to be subject to the whims of the elite ever again.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

Up until this morning, the biggest thing Josh had to worry about was completing Shadow Souls on sadistic difficulty. Oh, and his upcoming exams. That was before he caught the attention of a planet of intergalactic trial-by-combat lawyers that use giant mechs to fight their legal battles. Now he has bigger things to worry about. Much, much bigger. The only advantage he has is his trusty games controller, but will it be enough to beat a Level 10 Behemoth?

Monkey Business, book 10: Bob was looking forward to settling in and peddling walnuts for a few days...until a slip of the tongue sent him racing to save the old Commonwealth Navy fleet. Just when things were looking like he could head home to Nikki, and get a couple of days off, he’s called out on a rescue mission. Join the fun, as Bob takes the long way home. Let's Make a Deal, book 11: Bob finally gets his wish: a chance to make peace with the Squirrels.

Upon returning to Valia after his journey to Caelford and the Unclaimed Lands, Corin Cadence is confronted with a familiar foe—his own father. While his strength has vastly increased since his last encounter with Magnus Cadence, Corin knows that he’ll need every trick at his disposal—and maybe a few new ones—if he wants to survive a duel with his father intact. While Corin struggles with his family, his friends must face a second year at Lorian Heights with new classes, familiar but new chancellor, and deadly new enemies both on and off the campus.

Getting out from under the Commonwealth's thumb should be a good thing. Of course, there are a lot of people who think that means the Earth is fair game. BSR has to keep them from exploiting the folks back home. Of course, the fellow Bob outsmarted on Tantrum isn't taking it well, either. Come see what the fleet has to do to keep Earth safe.