Showing results by publisher "Podium Audio" in Humorous

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

The fleet manages to catch the Squirrel responsible for the horrible things they've seen recently. That should be a good thing, shouldn't it? Turns out it's only the beginning of their troubles, as their journey to collect a bounty on him turns into an adventure. Follow along as Bob and the fleet get the best of the situation.

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

Recruited to follow the last signal of the mysterious Elders to a system halfway across the galaxy, Andy joins the crew of the James Bowie for another adventure into the unknown. The journey will be filled with mystery and wonder, with strange life seeded on far-flung worlds by the godlike Elders…and with danger. For the Elders didn’t leave our galaxy of their own accord. They were driven out by an implacable enemy, something beyond their understanding…and ours.

Up until this morning, the biggest thing Josh had to worry about was completing Shadow Souls on sadistic difficulty. Oh, and his upcoming exams. That was before he caught the attention of a planet of intergalactic trial-by-combat lawyers that use giant mechs to fight their legal battles. Now he has bigger things to worry about. Much, much bigger. The only advantage he has is his trusty games controller, but will it be enough to beat a Level 10 Behemoth?

The Library's operations are expanding. Patrons come and go. Fines levied, books returned. But some dangerous books have been wiped from the system, and only surveillance helps reveal what they are. With some of these books integral to dimensional stability, they have to be retrieved no matter what. Quinn must enlist the help of her assistants and allies to perform rituals capable of locating these books. Some of the information comes too easily, hinting at deception behind every turn. They must navigate the trails before the traps snap shut!

Evelyn enjoyed living a nice quiet life in an anarchic pirate port, far from the world she’d once conquered. Then came an attack by mercenaries that made her angry. By the time the dust settled, she had a group of former slaves which she’d freed, her djinn assistant had convinced several of the women that they should join Evelyn’s brand-new harem, and she was looking for a new home, likely aboard a ship.

Upon returning to Valia after his journey to Caelford and the Unclaimed Lands, Corin Cadence is confronted with a familiar foe—his own father. While his strength has vastly increased since his last encounter with Magnus Cadence, Corin knows that he’ll need every trick at his disposal—and maybe a few new ones—if he wants to survive a duel with his father intact. While Corin struggles with his family, his friends must face a second year at Lorian Heights with new classes, familiar but new chancellor, and deadly new enemies both on and off the campus.

Evelyn wishes that her life would calm down. As if rescuing a former empress wasn’t enough of a problem, Evelyn has gotten herself involved in the affairs of dragons, something which could doom even her. Yet even when she gains the quiet that she longs for, Evelyn receives an offer that she cannot refuse, not when the prize is something she has been hunting for years. Still, if anyone thinks they can manipulate Evelyn without consequences, they had better think again.

Micah, Jess, and the ever-loyal Golden Retriever, Grover, seek refuge in the snowy seclusion of a New Hampshire farm, along with their new Kynolari friends. As winter's grip tightens, so does the Draun's hold on Earth. The signal sent by the Visionary has awakened the Draun DNA inside two hundred and fifty million humans, the number increasing every day. Nowhere is safe, and humanity is on the brink of unimaginable chaos. Forced to flee after a devastating attack on the farm, the heroes are scattered, pursuing desperate gambits across the globe.

Cat LeBlanc's success against the Antithesis in the megacity of New Montreal has raised her profile amongst the samurai. And despite her antiauthoritarian attitude and appetite for destruction in combat, she's been assigned to assume command of Burlington's defenses. Against her better judgment—and though it means taking time away from her girlfriend, Lucy, and their adopted gang of children, "the kittens"—Cat accepts the mission.

The Antithesis want nothing more than to consume other worlds, altering their environments and birthing armies of monsters to continue their spread across the galaxy. Their next target is Earth, but with hundreds of Samurai protecting their home, it will be no easy victory. Taking root on Mars and its moons, the Antithesis have concocted a plan for the ultimate cosmic takeover: transform Phobos into a living satellite and hurtle it toward Earth.

Dan's cats are acting weird. One has grown into a strength powerhouse, the other wants to communicate... verbally. And now other kitties have begun to go missing from his quiet suburban street. Could the man in the parka that haunts a nearby industrial estate have answers? Or perhaps it's something to do with the strange disappearing woman in the woods? Can our hero figure out the conspiracy before it turns into a catastrophe?

Captain Vance Turbo of the E.S.S Ares has managed to save the entire universe and gotten himself a big fat promotion for it. However, that doesn't mean much as he's just received a message that his daughter is in peril! His daughter that he didn't know about because she was cooked up in a lab by his ex-girlfriend. Knowing he can't take his ship on a personal vendetta, Vance decides to charter a pirate ship to head to the distant tyranny of Crius. Unfortunately, his journey isn't exactly a secret and he finds himself ambushed. Ambushed by someone Vance never thought he'd see again.

Captain Vance Turbo has been struggling for the past few years, his reputation in tatters and most of his allies having turned against him. Offered a chance to go after a sinister crime syndicate at a peace treaty in Notha Space, he jumps at it. However, no sooner does he do so that he discovers that a malevolent AI and even more powerful forces are at work...ones that threaten everyone and everything in the galaxy. Will Vance somehow stumble his way into saving the universe again or will his luck finally run out?

Getting to the moon was Chris's lifelong dream. And he had the brains, body, and boldness to do it—that is, until he lost his legs in a motorcycle accident. Even then, the universe found a way to make that dream happen when a private tech company offered him his shot at lunar glory—that is, until his ship exploded after liftoff. Suddenly, somehow, Chris finds himself transported to a new world—and a new body. A goblin body. No . . . a goblin king body!

With Arizona united under the corporate auspices of Silken Sands, Dearth Local is in retreat—and Tyson has earned himself some nice R and R. Or so he thought. Now, just a month after Day 1, mysterious beasts are plaguing his land. A powerful armada tears through the sea. An angry Beholder threatens his workers. And a powerful tsunami has signaled the arrival of an even more powerful affiliate. A singular monster that assimilates its workers into the ever-growing hivemind that is its corporate structure, Kraken threatens not just to end Tyson and his fledgling affiliate.