Showing results by publisher "Tantor Audio" in Humor

Middle school is hard. Solving cases for the FBI is even harder. Doing both at the same time - well, that's just crazy. But that doesn't stop Florian Bates! Get to know the only kid on the FBI director's speed dial - and several international criminals' most wanted lists - in this adventurous series that School Library Journal says combines "elements of Alex Rider, James Bond, and Sherlock Holmes". 

How much do you know about farts? Did you know it would take just nine farts from every person on earth to power an atomic bomb? That fish farts nearly triggered a war against Russia? That women's farts smell worse than men's? Pfwoort! It's all in this book. Did you know that inhaling farts is healthy, yet people fart after death? That you can get a job as a professional fart smeller? That farting is illegal in Africa but polite in South America? Heard any ancient Babylonian fart jokes lately? Blorrrk! It's all in this book. 

The new director at Camp Lone Wolf seems like a nice guy. But when the kids learn the legend of a local boy who disappeared and the wolf that prowls the campgrounds howling in the night, they start to wonder if Camp Lone Wolf is more than just a name. Mr. Jenkins is covered in hair, eats his meat almost raw, and has an obsession with wolves. But could he really be a werewolf? 

The new gymnastics teacher likes cats, brooms, and funny rhymes, that sound awfully close to spells. Could Miss Brewbaker really be a witch?

There have always been some pretty weird grownups in Bailey City, but the new custodian at the Bailey School is one of a kind. When he appears out of nowhere just before Christmas to help out at the school, Mr. Jolly's white hair and beard and longing for cold temperatures bring the fabled St. Nick to everyone's mind. Could this man really be Santa Claus? The Bailey School Kids are going to find out!

Willy and Peter need to get as far as possible from their sister's dumb kindergarten pageant. But they never expected to blast their butts into space! There they make a disgusting discovery that could wipe out the moon in one gross stink bomb. Do they have enough gas in their guts to repel gassy green aliens from Uranus? Can farts alone rocket them back to earth? And how did their sister's hamster get into the space capsule and chew up all the wires?

Eddie's great aunt Mathilda is sick and he has to help take care of her. But when Eddie and his friends visit Mathilda's house, strange things start to happen. Howie sees someone staring at him from the attic window and, when his back is turned, his garlic potato chips are used to spell the word attic on the ground. During later visits, the kids hear noises from the attic, but Great Aunt Mathilda swears there's nothing up there. 

There's a new guidance counselor at Bailey Elementary School and he's giving the kids the creeps. No one understands why his skin is so pale, why he hides from the sun, or why his skin is deathly cold to the touch. But Counselor Drake couldn't really be Count Dracula, could he?

Meghan McGlinchey is the most superstitious girl in her family—and probably in the entire state of Delaware. When she receives a chain letter from a stranger in Ireland, Meghan immediately passes it on, taking only a tiny shortcut in the directions. But after a disastrous day, made complete by losing the election for class president and embarrassing herself in front of the entire school, Meghan realizes that tiny shortcut was a big mistake. 

The Bailey School Kids need to do a report on England. Howie picks Camelot as his topic, which is how he knows the new assistant at the library, Mr. Merle, looks just like the ancient wizard Merlin! The kids discover a crystal ball in Mr. Merle's office and learn that he has a huge goldfish named Arthur, just like the ancient king. Then Mr. Merle transforms the library into a medieval castle and starts mesmerizing kids with the magic of reading! Something strange is definitely going on. Could Mr. Merle really be a wizard?

When the art teacher disappears after a strange display of flashing lights, it looks like Bailey Elementary is in a bind. But out of nowhere a mysterious and pale woman with silver-white hair and an unusual white outfit shows up to take her place. Soon after her arrival the objects of Bailey City start to lose their color, but the new teacher seems to be getting more colorful every day. Can the Bailey School kids stop Bailey City from being washed out before it's too late?

The ever-suspicious students at Bailey School lose control of their imaginations again when they meet new school nurse Mrs. Redding, who they come to believe is a Martian spying on Earth kids.

The Bailey School kids find their imaginations running wild when yet another strange-looking individual joins the education staff, this time in the personage of bus driver Mr. Stone, who resembles the city library's sixth gargoyle.

When a group of short construction workers begins building a school playground, Lisa begins to suspect that they are really Christmas elves, but Melody and Howie think Lisa has an overactive imagination.

At first, Katie and her friends can't wait to enter the fourth grade! But with the pressure of new classes, teachers, and friends, Katie isn't so sure she likes it after all. And to make matters worse, the magic wind appears twice—and turns her into her new friend Emma Weber, who has her hands full with three younger siblings to help take care of, and then into her former best friend Suzanne as she's about to make her fashion runway debut! What's a fourth-grader to do?

There are some pretty weird grown-ups living in Bailey City—and a lot of strange happenings. The Bailey School Kids take it upon themselves to investigate.

The new swimming instructor at Camp Lone Wolf, Nessie McFarland, is anything but normal. And when she's in her scuba gear, Nessie's skinny black body, long neck, and little head remind the kids of the great legend of Lock Ness. But Nessie can't really be a monster, could she?

Wondering at their weird new band teacher, the Bailey School kids are surprised when he comments that the classroom skeleton, Claude, can play music better than they can, and when everyone wonders who is playing the tuba, Eddie vows to find the truth.

The Bailey School kids need to train for a boat race and Camp Lone Wolf is just the place to do it. Too bad rumor has it that the bankrupt camp may need to shut down soon. The visiting coach, Captain Teach, who bears a strange resemblance to a pirate, turns out to in possession of a map that leads the way to buried treasure. Can the kids find the treasure and save Camp Lone Wolf before Captain Teach makes off with the booty?

Ever since Eugene became their new neighbor, the third graders at Bailey Elementary School get everything they wish for. This all seems great . . . until their lives start to turn upside down.