Showing results by publisher "Penguin Audio" in Humor

Beasts in the basement. A gangster in a rabbit suit. And rats in the modem. Great-great-grandma in the freezer. A talking spider in the attic. And a crocodile in the moat. Titus in his bedroom. Baby Damp in her nappy. And Pandora in a strop. Add a stressed-out witch for a mum, a kidnapped dad, and a nanny who puts Mary Poppins to shame and you'll conjure up family life at StregaSchloss. It's bizarre!

Mr Twit is a foul and smelly man who always has bits of cornflake and sardine in his beard. Mrs Twit is scheming and sly and always thinking of the next horrible trick to play on her husband. The Twits are so ghastly and evil that they even keep Muggle-Wump the monkey and his family captive in their garden. But not for much longer! The monkeys are planning to trick the terrible Twits so that they can escape and put a stop to the frightful pair once and for all!

Brought to you by Penguin. Burglar Bill gets more than he bargained for, while robbers plan a Christmas Eve crime that Officer Pugh must do his best to thwart, in this brand new audio collection. Featuring two of Allan and Janet Ahlberg's best loved stories, complete with full and hilarious...

Not many people can see the dead (and not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the members of the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. But the dead aren't going to take it lying down - especially since it's Halloween tomorrow. Besides, they're beginning to find that life is a lot more fun than it was when they were...well...alive. Particularly if they break a few rules.

Mr Hoppy really loves his neighbour Mrs Silver, and Mrs Silver really loves her tortoise, Alfie. Oh, if only Mr Hoppy could perform some great feat that would make him a hero in her eyes! Then one day an amazing idea rushes into his head. With the help of a magical spell, some cabbage leaves and one hundred and forty tortoises, can shy Mr Hoppy win Mrs Silver's heart?

Meet Billy. A kid with a dream. He wants to turn an old wooden house into an incredible sweetshop full of treats! And meet The Ladderless Window-Cleaning Company: Monkey, Pelican (Pelly) and Giraffe (who needs ladders when you've got a giraffe?!). They have just landed a big break cleaning all six hundred and seventy-seven windows of the mansion owned by the richest man in all of England! All they need now is a little help from Billy. Can these unlikely new friends make Billy's wildest dreams come true and take him on an adventure he'll never forget...?

Johnny Maxwell and his friends have to do something when they find Mrs Tachyon, the local bag lady, semi-conscious in an alley...as long as it's not the kiss of life. But there's more to Mrs Tachyon than a squeaky trolley and a bunch of dubious black bags. Somehow she holds the key to different times, different ears: including the Blackbury Blitz in 1941. Suddenly, now isn't the safe place Johnny once thought it was as he finds himself caught up more and more with then.

Every Saturday morning the Gregg family goes off to shoot animals and birds. But the girl who lives next door hates hunting. Now it's made her so angry that she's put the magic finger on them all. And very strange things have begun to happen.

From Jack in the Beanstalk, Goldilocks and the Three Bears to Little Red Riding Hood and the Three Little Pigs, wicked beasts, brazen crooks and a ghastly giant star in these hilarious nursery rhymes with BITE!

As the mighty alien fleet from the very latest computer game thunders across the computer screen, Johnny prepares to blow them into the usual million pieces. And they send him a message. We surrender. They're not supposed to do that! They're supposed to die. And computer joysticks don't have "Don't Fire" buttons...It's hard enough trying to save Mankind from the Galactic Hordes. It's even harder trying to save the Galactic Hordes from Mankind. But it's only a game, isn't it. Isn't it?

Was that CROCKY-WOCK galumphing up the stairs? Is STINGALING hiding in your bed? And what foul fate has PIGGY planned for Farmer Bland? WARNING! This book contains wickedly funny verse, prickly surprises and the most despicable creatures you could ever hope (not) to meet.

This summer, Charley and George are in Paris to perform at the biggest sporting championships in the world, but soon after their arrival they notice one of the star athletes, Alfie Eagles, has gone missing. Has he dropped out? Is it sabotage? Or is it something more sinister all together . . . ? With the big race fast approaching, it’s a race against time for the Rockstar Detectives to crack the case and find the missing athlete before it’s too late!

Humza’s life finally feels . . . normal. Aliens aren’t trying to kill him, zombies aren’t trying to eat him, there are no crazy spy missions on the horizon and certainly no mutant hamsters. So why does he still feel stressed? Enter Aisha Mariam Shah a.k.a the girl Humza is desperate to impress. To get Aisha’s attention, Humza enters the science fair with his friends Wendy and Umer, and it soon looks like they have a real shot at winning. But Alan, their jealous classmate, has other ideas. He has his eyes on Aisha and the science fair prize too, and he’s determined to halt his nemeses.

Nine-year-old Harry has always wanted a dog and when he sees Dottie at the local animal shelter he knows she's the perfect puppy for him. What he doesn't realise is that Dottie is a dog with a difference . . . she can talk and fly! And Harry's not the only one interested in Dottie, and soon they are both scooped up in their very first mission with the SuperPets, a secret league of very special pets who keep the world safe from harm.

Puffin presents seven stories, in audio for the first time, from master storyteller Dick King-Smith. This collection includes: Connie and Rolo, Warlock Watson, Bobby the Bad, Dragon Boy, What Sadie Saw, Treasure Trove and Back to Front Benjy. Get ready to go treasure hunting with Ben, cast spells with Sam and take flight with Montagu in this beautifully recorded new collection. 

When Dino and Danny see a rainbow in the sky, they go through and name all the colours they can see. But soon they notice there is one important colour missing and Dinosaur is keen to help correct it. This hilarious Dino story introduces the series to the youngest listeners, whilst teaching them about all the colours of the rainbow.

Puffin presents five classic children's stories from master storyteller Dick King-Smith. This collection features tales from the farm yard including Julius Caesar's Goat. Julius Caesar's Goat is the story of how Julius Caesar became the owner of a goat so smelly, the enemy ran away at the merest whiff of him! And then there's Caesar's girlfriend... Queen Cleopatra may be beautiful but she uses Siberian wolf's wee for perfume and rancid donkey milk for bathwater. How can Caesar stand to be near this pungent pair?

Inspired by the work of the world's number one storyteller, this audiobook is a guide to growing up the Roald Dahl way; a celebration of all the tremendous things children have in store—from adventure to inventions, chocolate cakes to rhino poo. Along with a reminder that the very best grown-ups are those who hold on tight to the chiddler inside.

Sohal worries about a lot of things - the dark, mutant sheep, not having any friends - you name it, he worries about it! So one night he draws his worries to make himself feel better - and somehow they look a lot less worrying once he's scribbled them down.... Imagine Sohal's surprise when he wakes up the next morning and finds a set of funny furry friends at the end of his bed! His worries have come to life, and it's not long before Hurt, Fail, Anger, Big and Alone have turned his world upside down.

The tinsel is up in the bakery, the lights are twinkling and the mince pies are sold out. It's Christmas Eve! Greg the Sausage Roll is so excited he could burst. And when he's scooped up as a last-minute treat for Santa, he's catapulted into a magical festive caper beyond his wildest dreams. Hold on tight for a spectacular sausage roll-er coaster of an adventure!