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Malcolm George Galbraith is a large, somewhat clumsy Scotsman. He’s being forced to leave the woman he loves behind and needs to explain why. So he leaves her a note on the kitchen table Malcolm decides to start from the beginning and tell the whole story of his long life, something he’s never dared do before. Because Malcolm isn’t what he seems. As it gathers pace, Malcolm’s story combines tragedy, comedy, mystery, a touch of leprosy, several murders, a massacre, a ritual sacrifice, an insane tyrant, two great romances, a landslide, a fire, and a talking fish.

But that is just what happens to our humble lettering artist, Mila Breaux. When she is contracted to hand letter the menus for the newest Italian restaurant in her small town of Monchac, Louisiana, it isn't all penne and chianti. Apparently, there is something funky going on at the new joint, and it isn't the expired fish! That's because she's stumbled upon a corpsicle—the body of a pretty young woman who had her whole life ahead of her. And an artist, too! Just like Mila herself.