Showing results for "Get" in Humorous

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

With magic and friendship on his side, life in the forest is good. Blessed by the Sun, Jenkins spends his days fishing with River, dancing with the Mists, and singing with Moon, all the while maintaining impeccable toe-beans and a flawless coat. Because to cleanse a meridian is to cleanse oneself, after all, inside and out. But Life isn't all sunbeams and starlight. Every kitten must grow up eventually, and Jenkins is no exception. Heavenly trials and tribulations follow his every triumph, as Death looms in the shadows.

Trillin isn't technically a person. She's a tiny breakaway piece of consciousness from the all-devouring Endless, doomed to eventually rejoin it. But when a human witch stumbles into her world, Trillin suddenly has a new reason to figure out individuality—one shape-shifting tentacle at a time.

Angel Crawford is finally starting to get used to life as a brain-eating zombie, but her problems are far from over. Her felony record is coming back to haunt her, more zombie hunters are popping up, and she’s beginning to wonder if her hunky cop-boyfriend is involved with the zombie mafia. Yeah, that’s right—the zombie mafia. Throw in a secret lab and a lot of conspiracy, and Angel’s going to need all of her brainpower—and maybe a brain smoothie as well—in order to get through it without falling apart.

Done with everything, this not-so-frozen-hearted lich queen is out for one final rampage, and this time, the prize is the soul of the world. Do or die. Again. The stakes are high, the board is set. More than just Maud's crafting stash is on the line. She has a fabulous skirt, bombs in her bloomers, undead minions in the millions, and an unshakable urge to murder anyone who gets in her way. If the Whisperer's brain wasn't getting eaten by parasites he'd probably be terrified.

Evil has arrived in the capital...and she's looking to go shopping. After a startling vision and an uninvited visit from a rival lich, Maud sets off for the city to prepare for war. Leaving a trail of deboned corpses in her wake, this simple country lich solves a few murders, commits a few more, and discovers along the way that some things are worth dying for. Again. Maud’s heart may have stopped beating long ago, but she is determined to live her new "life" to the fullest. Featuring necrotic crafting, neurotic knitting, two naughty crows, and one very haunted castle.

As the newly crowned undead monarch of Einheath, Maud has many responsibilities. Negotiations with her neighbors, politics with pesky paladins, and the reconstruction of her shiny new kingdom—this all takes a lot of effort and energy. It also cuts into precious crafting time. But when a jealous god threatens her freedom, Maud is forced to put down her scepter and go looking for answers. Along the way, she discovers a mysterious fairy realm, takes her beloved cat to the next level, and knits some very exciting sweaters.

Having successfully stolen half the souls of Fairhaven out from under her rival's pretentious undead nose, Maud must now find homes for all her new pets, but the living are much noisier than the dead. As if that wasn't vexing enough, the self-appointed lich king has just unleashed a zombie plague on the land, threatening both Maud's patience and her wool supply.

Blue McKenna is dead—it isn't pretty. Her innards are strewn all over the bridge in front of Juniper Hollow, but she still can't make it to the white light. Blue's spirit is trapped in a nightmare scenario involving the Department of Motor Vehicles. Evidently, the DMV is as terrible in death as it is in life. Too bad the only one who can rescue Blue is a snarky cat named Skitters. And he hates her guts. All of them. Scottie Sphincter, lead singer of the Rectal Surgeons, can't move on, either. Why does Scottie keep getting ghosted by women like Blue?

They say you can never go home. They don't tell you that it's because the people you left behind split time itself into a million glittering shards, trying to figure out where you went. In the final book of the Monster Girlfriend trilogy, Sian and Trillin return to where it all began. . . . kind of.