Is your relationship stuck in the anxious-avoidant "trap" or a cycle of pushing and pulling, ups and downs? In this powerful episode, I sit down with relationship writer Rikki Cloos (@anxiousheartsguide on Instagram and TikTok) to talk about why anxious-avoidant relationships feel so hard—and how to make the dynamic more secure. Here's what we discuss:

• 🔁 How Rikki broke up with her now-husband eight times early on in their relationship—and what finally helped them break the anxious-avoidant cycle

• 🧠 Why avoidant partners aren't “bad” or emotionally broken—and how anxious partners can unintentionally push them further away

• 🔍 The surprising ways anxious behavior can create avoidant responses in otherwise secure people

• 💬 How to stop blaming avoidant attachers and start reflecting on your own role in the anxious-avoidant dynamic

• 💖 What self-compassion actually looks like—and how changing your inner dialogue can transform every relationship in your life, by starting with the one you have with yourself

• 🔧 The art of healthy conflict resolution—why it’s essential for growth and how to make conflict feel connecting instead of catastrophic

• 📈 Why doing the work on yourself (even solo) can shift the entire energy of your relationships, whether platonic or romantic

• 🛠️ Practical tools, real-life scripts, and tangible phrases you can use in moments of conflict or disconnection

• 🌱 How secure relationships aren’t found—they’re built through emotional maturity, communication, and mutual effort

  
  

  Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment:

  Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com

  Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy

  Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit

  Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching

  Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

  
  

  To connect with Rikki Cloos, visit her website at http://anxiousheartsguide.com/.