When was the last time someone asked you for a bribe? How do you know? The City of Oakland, California vs The City of Chicago. Marci's daughter's wedding plans. Dead rats on the sidewalk vs redwood trees upending the sidewalk.

Sometimes you wish there were an explanation for your difficult week—but the planets and stars are not it. Somehow, the glasses are your fault. The primary school valentine for the kid you didn't like. The hazard of "don't you know who I am?" Things (famous) people should have learned about Zoom. Marci wears the wrong shirt to appear on national TV. And Elvis…is still dead.

Marci does something many of you would never, ever do—and now she is in pain. Nature is arguably bad. The Midwest vs. California, or the open bar vs the vegetable platter. (When we say hide the sausage, we mean it.)

Marci's neighboring mountain is in flames (nobody is hurt) with extremely inconvenient results. Wildlife hits the ground. The blended worm. Biology you've forgotten. What not to have outside your expensive store. The "Most Oblivious Partner" contest announcement (and why we're holding one.)

New ideas for getting rid of toxic waste, purchasing furniture, or possibly removing unwanted house guests. How to entertain your children, recklessly. Mummies make great babysitters. Not the British kind, the dead kind.

Whenever you plan a trip….there's that news story. Switchbacks to Sedona. The Hell's Angels go shopping. Swedish biker fish. Escape of the hounds.

That's not what you thought you were eating. What's in your underwear? Admit you're too old for that. Insulting a house for sale online. How to die in the bathtub. Rebuilding Elvis' house at your house, or how to mangle 150 year old mansion. The Jungle Room in Reno.

When everything goes wrong on your birthday, is that karma? Three dogs, three ways to ruin your life. One solution to missing out on a promotion: poison your colleague. Can you take your dog's drugs?