Lords:

• Josette
  • https://www.josetteseitz.com/
  • https://www.instagram.com/jo_seitz/
• Daniel

Topics:

• The overlap between musicians and rhythm game players
• Figure Skating and the upcoming Olympics
• In this short Life that only lasts an hour by Emily Dickinson
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/56456/in-this-short-life-that-only-lasts-an-hour-1292
• The Reality of Hope
  • https://www.therealityofhope.co.uk
• Is time travel media really that bad?

Microtopics:

• 3D art spaces and the Virtual Burning Man experience.
• What were we talking about at lunch?
• The new kind of Christmas light that's reminiscent of the old kind of Christmas light.
• A nice soft blue.
• The LED lights that hurt the most.
• Mounting recessed lights in the eaves and lighting them up with the worst gamer RGB patterns.
• Beige keyboards with three green LEDs on them that you can animate because they're memory-mapped.
• Paradiddle.
• Learning to play drums in VR.
• Paradiddle for Snapchat Glasses.
• Video game audio latency vs. digital synthesizer latency.
• The Bemani guitar game that inspired Guitar Hero.
• Guitar Freaks vs. Guitar Hero as a case study in how the same idea can be executed very differently getting very different results
• How singing is scored in Rock Band.
• Finding new music via the Rock Band games.
• Beat Saber Library Managers.
• Solid beams of light.
• Ice Dancing.
• Whether you can train rhythm.
• Brother-sister ice skating couples.
• Which animals can learn rhythm.
• Representing your ice rink.
• What to do after you've spent your life training but what you were training for didn't work out?
• Ice skater unions.
• Going to the Olympics with your mom to watch the figure skating.
• Alysa Liu.
• Meeting America's Princess and she's not a nice lady.
• Finding the right coach at age 7.
• Sports therapists.
• The disposition to perform your best under pressure.
• Exercising and practicing at the expense of nearly everything else you could be doing with your time.
• What to do with your life now that you're no longer spending all your time training for the Olympics.
• Missing your friend's 11th birthday party because you're busy training for the Olympics.
• Giving seven year olds a test to see if they do well under pressure and if not, telling their parents not to try to get this one into the Olympics.
• Grit.
• What boot camp is for.
• Training to be the best person in the world at field stripping a rifle.
• Still living this life, which is great.
• Still being responsible for other people's taxes.
• Looking forward to the new year because it's tax time.
• How your life might've been different if your parents insisted you go to college.
• We've got learning at home but we don't have socialization at home.
• Studying how to study without knowing how to study.
• Passing the classes you were interested in at that moment and not doing so well in the test.
• Two friends in the furry community.
• Telling your friend about your medical condition in VR Chat.
• A documentary about kidney transplants in the furry community.
• Damn, That's a Good Kidney!
• Filming a documentary in VR Chat.
• What normal people think about time travel fiction.
• Yes, you have to use your hands, and yes it's like a baby's toy.
• Reading a piece of fiction because you're hoping to have a good time.
• Which time-travel movies have reached the heights of popular culture.
• Having this 360-degree camera just sitting around and trying to figure out what movie to make with it.

Lords:

• Cort
• Ben

Topics:

• Oh man, remember the Geek Code?
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geek_Code
• I discovered a fun fact about my neighborhood
• Every 5x6 Nonogram
  • https://puzzarium.com/every-5x6-nonogram
• The Calf Path by Sam Foss
  • https://poets.org/poem/calf-path
• Phillip Rivers

Microtopics:

• Secret Playstation Things.
• Transposing a matrix in SIMD.
• Reclaiming your plug.
• Trying and failing to use Libby.
• Failing to check out library books from your toilet.
• State-sanctioned piracy.
• The restaurant where you had the dinner for your wedding.
• The "my wife" voice.
• Suddenly having nieces.
• Hadad and Barney on Black Square Day.
• The Talos Principal DLC.
• The Geek Code Era.
• VMS or OS/2 as a defining feature of your personality.
• Dilbert, Perl, Doom, and X-Files: all equally culturally relevant to this day.
• The Natural Bears Classification System for Gay Men.
• The Human Code.
• Your favorite grocery store's end-of-year recap.
• The story of a Venezuelan woman between age 30 and 55, and her top 2000 interests.
• Your favorite vowel in text messages you've sent this year.
• What they call that AE vowel.
• Speedrunning your entire email history in a weekend.
• The Miracle Mile, where all the tar pits are.
• Noted monster Sean "Diddy" Combs.
• Two hip hop producers getting mad at each other.
• Putting a plaque at your hotel explaining that Jim Morrison did not die at this hotel.
• Being the plaque you want to see in the world.
• Whether the Museum of Jurassic Technology has reopened after the fire.
• A very earnest museum about a history that never was.
• Wandering around dazed after every 5x5 nonogram is solved.
• Doing your part to serve humanity by solving nonograms.
• Do you remember where you were when Every 5x5 Nonogram Section 303 was finished?
• Why a dippy bird can't keep you online.
• Gesturing at the idea of collectively solving a problem.
• Why we haven't heard from Peter Molyneux in a while.
• What three digit numbers nonogram solvers think are interesting.
• Sending 96 million solved nonograms into space as proof to alien life that humans are still capable of collective action.
• Feeling bad about having installed an ad blocker and loading up a four hour block of ads from 80s TV.
• Being prosecuted for use of ad blockers.
• Look at that smirk. That's a man who knows he's preaching but getting away with it.
• Getting a deck of flash cards to learn all of the pentameters.
• Three iambs and a reverse iamb.
• Your favorite good poems and your favorite shitpost poems.
• Tony Gang Flame War.
• Refusing to tackle the 40 year old quarterback after his wallet falls out on the field and the photos of his ten children unfold.
• The median age of football players rising into retirement age as teenagers learn about the health risks and refuse to participate.
• Using NBA 2K as a metaphor for the decline of civilization.
• LA finally getting a football team again. (They have two now.)
• Whether they're still playing Starcraft.
• Broken 19 year olds who can't play Starcraft any more because their APMs are too low.
• The experience of attending a live e-Sports event.
• Whether they sell hot dogs and beer to the crowd at the live League of Legends event or if it's all GamerGrub and Feastables.
• A Youtube shitpost made in Garry's Mod.
• Channing Tatum playing the toilet in the Skibidi Toilet movie.
• Al Gore: still alive?
• Whether Wilford Brimley got plastic surgery to look that old.

Lords:

• Erica
• Micah
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/micahwrites/

Topics:

• Puerto Rico branded holiday jams
• Chive drama on Reddit
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/1o0j6hq/cutting_a_cup_of_chives_everyday_until_the_reddit/
• How to cure tinnitus (maybe)
• The Ballad of Blasphemous Bill
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46647/the-ballad-of-blasphemous-bill
• In defense of making movies sequels until they're good again

Microtopics:

• Being finished with horrible shit.
• Being in the middle of things forever.
• The Minutes of the Intermittent Meetings of the Society of Apocryphal Gentlefolk, by Dark Art
• Coming down from the high of PiCoSteveMo.
• Explaining PiCoSteveMo to someone like it's their first time at Rocky Horror Picture Show.
• Two things I'm willing to sacrifice to play PiCoSteveMo games.
• Putting your PICO-8 game in a CRT filter.
• Lawnmower Man, based on the title by Stephen King.
• Developing a field system in Puerto Rico.
• Winston's face appearing to the extent that Zoom thinks it's part of my chest.
• A deafening hospital siren playing while you're trying to have a good time at the beach.
• Pirate-themed massage.
• Stealing the windsurfing gear and going for a ride.
• Walking past the site of a pirate massage and fatal accident holding a solo cup.
• Getting pushed off the road by seven full-sized Coca Cola trucks led by a Santa Sleigh and followed by a party truck with a giant octagonal speaker spreading holiday cheer.
• Charging more for a well-traveled Coca Cola.
• Holiday-Branded Traffic Jams.
• Shipping your worst wine to India and it turns out that the sea voyage turns it into your best wine.
• Spanish Milk.
• Visiting Puerto Rico during linear time.
• The Puerto Rican version of Sleep No More in which Bad Bunny might pull you into a dark corner for a one-on-one and it's not clear whether he works for the event or if he's just another attendee.
• Day 57 of chopping chives on Reddit.
• Drawing airplanes crashing into the chives that are too long.
• Working with (and living with) the Chive Lord.
• Comparing Day 1 chives with day 55 chives.
• Finding Yoshi in a pile of chopped chives.
• A job that exists. (But not one you get paid for.)
• Asking the robot to add heart shapes to your food processor chives.
• These are the Days of our Chives.
• Each Sale I Drink a Glass of Water.
• Self-hosting memes and Turing-complete memes.
• Phase canceling your tinnitus.
• Not wanting to look it up because then you'd know.
• Curing tinnitus with extremely specific grenades.
• A party where everyone is constantly singing their personal tinnitus tones.
• Why don't we get bass tinnitus?
• Can you cure bass tinnitus with snail caviar?
• The native word for white people who are doing poorly in Alaska.
• The ice worms wriggling their purple heads through the crust of the pale blue snow.
• Pine trees cracking like little guns in the silence of the wood.
• Prankster Bill dying with his arms and legs outstretched so that he won't fit in his coffin.
• Poems that demand to be performed with a banjo.
• Whether they have banjos in Alaska.
• Having fun with the way words sound.
• I'm not gonna make it – but I can be an X shape.
• The Cremation of Sam McGee.
• Burning your house down to get the insurance money to buy a telescope.
• Making bad art until it becomes good.
• Tremors 3: Back to Perfection.
• A giant worm monster drilling up out of the ground in order to slice chives.
• Really dwelling on how much you don't have in common with other people.
• Six topics (and Shrieker Island)
• A dollmaker on the run after making farcical plays about Hitler.
• The Saved by the Bell themed music video featuring the same actors as the Final Destination movie it's promoting.
• Would you take 90 minutes off of your life to have not seen Final Destination 4?
• The replacement for the 1 to 10 pain scale where you decide which Final Destination movie you'd be willing to watch to take the pain away.
• Low pain awareness.
• Chess boxing win/loss ratios.

Lords:

• Ryan
• CisHetKayfaber

Topics:

• My vocal stims are getting out of control now that I don't have pets.
• Training to become a Tetris Grandmaster
  • https://www.youtube.com/@cishetkayfaber/videos
• Switching to not-bifocals
• Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nntd2fgMUYw

Microtopics:

• Introducing yourself or plugging something.
• Going to Cape Town for Playtopia.
• Enemies to enemies to lovers.
• A game conference with a name that sounds way too much like Fruitopia.
• What you would do for an Orbitz right now.
• An apple juice with basil seeds ensconced in it, like an Orbitz.
• I'm not mean, I'm just trying to manifest bullying.
• Semisolid Kind of Life.
• A dog following you into the kitchen and acting like a Ghostbusters trap except for all your bullshit rather than ectoplasm.
• The movie about the prep school kids who poop on the floor at their magic school.
• Making yourself laugh by doing a Gollum voice while you make a sandwich.
• Hanging up a happy face on the fridge and writing "mirror" on top of it to convince yourself that you're okay.
• An action figure that absorbs all the dark energy aimed at you.
• Giving advice to someone that you really have no basis for.
• The dog who loved your terrible celebrity impressions and the dog who gives you a look like "I expected more of you"
• Your online source for news about what water parks Jim and his family went to.
• The kind of Tetris that you become s grandmaster in.
• Tetris but the pieces don't fall, they just instantly appear at the bottom of the well.
• How the Tetris company wants you to play Tetris.
• Delayed Auto-Shift.
• Doing a hadouken move to place the zigzag piece in the correct column.
• Stack faster, stack better.
• A skill you can practice and get better at.
• Training for three or four hours a day on a hacked PlayStation Vita to become a Tetris Grandmaster.
• How the Tetris the Grandmaster community feels about leverless controls.
• Going several years between occasions to say hello to your wife.
• Going for a walk around the block so you have an excuse to say hello to your wife when you get back.
• Seeing a person and immediately infodumping at them.
• What they have now instead of bifocals.
• Training your eyes to look through the part of the lens that does the thing.
• Going to the optometrist and saying "just fuck me up"
• Why they don't make bifocals for text at the distance of a computer monitor.
• There's still time, and there's dignity.
• Watching the VOD of your own death because you missed the livestream.
• Getting used to your vision swimming in a new way when you get new glasses.
• Getting an eye exam and saying "I'd rather not say" when they ask you what letters you see.
• Freeballing your corneas.
• A fellow glasses enjoyer.
• A cursed gem that gives you astigmatism.
• Doing the Magic Eye thing in order to learn to read.
• Being born a trust fund kid, except it's your eyeballs.
• The return of the quarter speed music video.
• Even slower slow motion.
• Why can't Eagle-Eye Cherry crawl?
• Wondering why you haven't leaped yet.
• Singing to the camera while being robbed.
• Watching music videos at 1.5x speed as practice for watching them at .25x speed.
• Suddenly the dog takes its mask off and it was Eagle-Eye Cherry the whole time!
• Promising to eat your glasses frames on camera.
• Forgetting how cool your whole premise is and just stopping doing it.
• Literal music videos.
• A houseplant can't save shit. A houseplant doesn't know what time it is.
• People running around New York and looking sad at the camera.
• Buck Cherry. (Named after Chuck Berry.)

Lords:

• Maxx
• Michael

Topics:

• Reinventing pants
• Plortonomics (the economy in the game Slime Rancher)
• The Leaning American
• Maggie and Milly and Molly and May, by E. E. Cummings
  • https://poets.org/poem/maggie-and-milly-and-molly-and-may

Microtopics:

• Rabbits and writing.
• Buying the lede (but thankfully the rabbits dug it up)
• Lord Veterans
• Ancillary Justice, or The Imperial Radch.
• Rabbits who want nothing more than to chew louder than you talk.
• Leaving space for the elephant in the room
• Inventing a new kind of pants inspired by taiko drumming.
• After years, finally trying out your new idea for how to sew pants, and realizing that the waist of the pants only reaches the crotch.
• Pants that are only made of rectangles.
• The slow process of realizing what pants are.
• Rapidly becoming pants.
• The universe doesn't end with a bang, but with a zip. (Of the pants.)
• Inventing a new kind of pants and looking them up online and realizing that they already exist and the name is extremely offensive.
• Pants that are just a square of cloth that you fold around your leg.
• A new kind of pants where the crotch is higher than the waist.
• Disassembling the kimono to hang it up to dry.
• Looking up the etymology of "pants" and it comes from an ancient word that means "the thing you can't just fold around your legs, you have to find a pattern on ravelry and sew it"
• Back when "pants" were just two leg tubes that you tied to your shirt.
• Clothespins: they turn tubes into clothes.
• How pants are different for fat people.
• Clean room pants reverse engineering.
• Asking a tailor who's never seen pants to make you pants based on a verbal description of a Taiko drummer you saw once.
• Making plorts after eating.
• Vacuuming up the plorts.
• Extremely ineffective insider trading.
• The kind of crime you only get caught at if people hate you.
• Gathering data on when people didn't file a malpractice suit.
• Doctor Parsley diagnosing you with sleep apnea based on the width of your neck.
• Suing a little mouse for malpractice because his tiny thimbleful of chamomile tea didn't cure your hepatitis A.
• Wholesome farming games where you go back to nature and practice aggressive capitalism.
• Throwing your slimes into the sea. (Which is maybe made of slimes.)
• The fantasy of running at high speed down a hill.
• The fantasy of skateboarding without dying.
• Incentivizing the player to discover new plorts.
• The fantasy of being on friendly terms with your neighbors.
• Comparing your favorite Animal Crossing villagers with your favorite Love Island cast members.
• The two competing Britain's Favorite Gardener.
• A reality show where you check in three times on people doing a project.
• What the rest of the world does instead of leaving.
• Learning how to stand – normally a thing only babies do.
• Leaning on an inclined surface made for a butt.
• Leaning less when you're visiting Japan.
• Crab Doctor.
• Reading a poem before it's too late.
• Narcissists soaking French.
• Tag yourself, I'm the horrible thing racing sideways while blowing bubbles.
• As small as a world and as large as alone.
• Wikipedia Dad.
• Gauging how long an answer to give a child asking a philosophical question.
• The Final Plug of Maxx Yamasaki.

Lords:

• Linker
• Alexa

Topics:

• Variations in vampire stories: types of powers, origins of vampires, lack of consent lol
• Anthropomorphism/Connection in media
• Get a free burger when you join my rewards
• Meditation at Lagunitas by Robert Hass
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47553/meditation-at-lagunitas
• What letter of the alphabet would win in a Royal Rumble
• Anti-Lesbian Vampire Propaganda of the 1970s as shown in The Vampire Lovers (1970)
  • https://crossingsjournal.ca/index.php/crossings/article/view/283

Microtopics:

• Being American and then being Canadian-American.
• Elephantasy and Elephantasy Flipside.
• Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty.
• 3D-printed worms.
• A plastic casing attached to your keychain that used to have a clicky button on it.
• What we did to fidget after the industrialization of textiles.
• How office workers goofed off before the Internet.
• Bella's lead skull that prevents Edward from mind-controlling her.
• Making up a power to be your favorite vampire power.
• What happens when you inhale a vampire in mist form.
• Using a picture of Cat's Cradle to illustrate the concept of telekinesis.
• Putting the vampire coffin in steerage and the familiar has to sit in coach and then pull the coffin off of the luggage conveyor belt.
• Would it be fun to turn into mist and be collected in a cup and then drunk?
• Miss Frizzle, vampire expert.
• Getting frustrated at a stealth video game and giving up being a pacifist as a metaphor for being an old vampire.
• New Money vs. Old Money vampires.
• Vampires going on Fetlife to find ethically sourced food.
• One mysterious vampire at Goth night at the nightclub quietly asking to drink your blood, vs. twenty vampires going around begging and everyone's like jeez, this again?
• Nobody expecting you to embezzle the blood.
• Talking to a computer like it's a person you have absolutely no respect for, in a way you'd never talk to a real person because you assign a baseline respect for just being a real person, and people overhearing you are like "holy shit they're really mad" but you're not mad, you're just talking to a computer.
• Apologizing to the table you just ran into.
• It Takes Two.
• Following the instructions of the book of love.
• Creation of personality in moments of friction.
• Interacting with video games in similar ways as you would a person, expect without the social anxiety.
• Why would you ruin this perfectly good complex system with social anxiety?
• We've got teamwork at home.
• Sentient burgers enslaving other sentient burgers.
• Being rewarded with a free burger but then turning into a burger and being given away as a reward.
• Chicken stars! They're like chicken nuggets but they're shaped like stars!
• Where were you when you were drafted into the Rewards Wars?
• Naming your rewards program "My Rewards" so when the mascot refers to it it sounds like the rewards belong to the mascot.
• Demanding to see the terms and conditions before you eat this hamburger.
• A word that is elegy to what it signifies.
• Moments when the body is as numinous as words.
• Taking some LSD and learning about non-symbolic states.
• Ignoring poetry in the same way that you ignore ads.
• Vampire jokes!
• Transylvanian Hounds.
• Serif H being much more combat-ready than sans serif H.
• The most bouba letters.
• Capital O rolling around crushing the other letters of the alphabet like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
• Distraction the ref so you can stab.
• Which letter of the alphabet could do the best backflip.
• Whether the ampersand counts as a letter.
• Letters that are good at stabbing vs. letters with broad sturdy bases.
• The nuclear family emerging in response to the financial boom following World War II.
• Anti-lesbian propaganda films that are far too sexy to be effective.
• Heteronormative fiances.
• Carmella the lesbian vampire stealing your wife.
• The vampire lesbians receiving their comeuppance and the heteronormative couple living happily every after.
• Be gay do crimes. (Murder.)
• Buying Linker's games so he doesn't die.