In today’s edition of The Update Journal, we’re checking in on the Yankees after a May that had wins, warning signs, and enough “we’ll circle back to this” energy to make June feel like a performance review. May gave Yankee fans reasons to feel confident, but June is walking in with a clipboard, a suspicious facial expression, and follow-up questions like, “Can this bullpen hold up?” “Is the lineup consistent?” and “Are we calling this a hot streak or are we calling HR?”

Then, we investigate one of the greatest lies ever sold to the public: horsepower. Because apparently, one horse can produce up to 15 horsepower, which means the entire transportation industry has been using a measurement system that sounds like it was created by a man standing next to a wagon saying, “Trust me, I know horses.” At some point, somebody looked at a horse, saw it briefly become a four-legged engine, and still decided to undersell the animal like it was a used Honda Civic. That’s not science — that’s equine defamation with a math degree.

And today’s Honorable Mention takes us to a viral engagement video where one couple was falling hard in love… and one fiancé may have been standing a little too proudly in the moment. Congratulations to the happy couple, but also congratulations to the internet, because once again, it ignored the romance, the ring, the scenery, and the emotional milestone, and instead formed a full investigative committee around one suspicious pants-related development. Love is beautiful. The internet is undefeated.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Thursday, Madison Square Garden canceled a planned Knicks watch party outside the arena hours before the NBA Finals Game 4— as owner James Dolan unloaded on Mayor Zohran Mamdani as a fake fan of the team.

A 41-year-old man was stabbed repeatedly and left clinging to life in a brutal attack inside a Brooklyn barbershop, cops and sources said.

And in Chicago, a large burning cross — a historic symbol of hate and intimidation against Black Americans — was discovered in a Chicago park where former President Barack Obama famously delivered his acceptance speech when he was elected the nation’s first Black president.