Steve Biddulph is one of the world’s best-known parent educators. Steve has been a psychologist for 30 years and his books have sold over four million copies as well as having been translated into 31 languages.

Ben and Tim talk with Steve about their own transformations after reading his books and talk the differences between raising boys and raising girls.

As well as plenty of good old-fashioned hugging. It’s alright to be affectionate peeps!

Listen in then try a few of Steve’s practical techniques.

Intelligence Summary (INTSUM)

04:50 Steve talks about how and why he got into psychology…. You’ll be surprised.

08:30 Initial interest in the psychology of men and boys and family therapy (at age 24). And watching Dad’s struggling to parent.

11:33 Raising Boys - the End Product. What makes a good man?

14:45 Tim tells his story about how Steve’s book changed his relationships.

20:30 Tim keeps talking about hugging blokes.

21:30 Steve talks about a generation that is ‘thawing out’.

26:30 How different is this generation of children?

30:45 On traumatic stress and cumulation. Advice for parents.

31:00 The importance of rest and restoration as a family.

33:33 On mothers and sons (and Celia Lashlie’s work and book) … and that book is here .

38:45 Boys start off in Mum’s world … and then re-orientates.

41:00 About mentors for boys and building a bundle of masculinity.

45:50 Raising Girls- What’s the difference?

47:30 Girls sensitivity to social cues… and what the advertisers know and how they exploit it.

49:22 Steve on why the world is mistreating girls.

50:30 Feminism and all its gains are in jeopardy. Social media, mirrors, internet and TV.

52:00 Hyenas are stalking our girls.

52:45 Pornography and kids.

58:00 How can we parent more resilient kids?

1:00:00 What about corporal punishment?

1:03:15 Modern boundaries.

1:04:25 Closing words of advice of things to do with our sons and daughters. Changing the dynamic.

External Links

www.stevebiddulph.com

Music

By Mitchell Martin … 'Beautiful' and 'Be Myself' ... Available on Spotify

It's the year 2100. How would SAS inspired tactics fight the Zombie Apocalypse? Mick Neven is 120 years old but still a comedic legend. He loves a good apocalypse and has a comedy show to prove it!

Zombies are descending. What's YOUR life choice!?!?

Intelligence Summary (INTSUM)

• 0:30. The Situation in the year 2100
• 5:05. Welcome Mick Neven – Genius Mind & 'What do you have'?
• 7:20. When running from the tiger when do you rest?
• 8:30. From your childhood what do you bring?
• 9:00. Ben and Tim’s biological relationship
• 09:30. Mark Wales .... from Survivor.... Sux!
• 12:20. Ben and Tim’s early story
• 14:00. Talking SAS Selection
• 20:15. Would you have ‘them’ in your workforce?
• 22:15. Why Mick is in elite company!
• 24:25. How Comedians are funny- from Mick (not Ben and Tim!).
• 31:00. Australian v UK Comedy demand.
• 42:00. Ben wants high tech stuff in the Zombie Apocalypse!
• 44:30. Plans and the Zombies! Mick is sceptical!
• 47:45. Mick’s skills are critical!!!!
• 52:00. Mick thinks Ben and Tim can’t unite anyone!
• 52:40. Cray fisherman
• 56:45. What skills do we need in the apocalypse?
• 58:00. Obstacle Planning
• 1:04:00 Park runners we need you!!!
• 1:05:30 Tim’s obstacle plan- “The Molasses Pit”
• 1:06:00 How to kill with combine harvesters.,
• 1:08:30 Tim takes a selfie on the edge of - “The Molasses Pit”. Doesn’t end well.
• 1:11:30 Designing a “The Molasses Pit”.
• 1:12:00 Farewells and pleasantries!

Music.

NEW Music from The Externals in this Episode.

Music from The Externals is available on Spotify.

More

www.unforgiving60.com

Contact Us

debrief@unforgiving60.com

Ashley Semmens is a former Royal Australian Navy Clearance Diver who served for 18 years, specialising in explosive ordnance disposal. He has deployed multiple times, including to Afghanistan, and participated in Australia's military withdrawal in 2021. After surviving trauma from an IED attack, a sniper incident, and a horrific shark attack aftermath in Sydney Harbour, Ashley was medically discharged due to PTSD. Now, he's preparing to swim the English Channel — not just any swim, but on his back, using fins. It's a fundraising mission for the Navy Clearance Diver Trust and a deeply personal journey into fear, resilience, and purpose.

In this episode, Ash opens up about overcoming fear of the water, losing close mates, post-service mental health, and how he’s turning pain into a platform for support and recovery.

00:00 – Ben and Tim intro the episode and Ash’s unique goal: finning across the English Channel 01:14 – Comparison to Sam Penny’s Channel swim (Season 1, Episode 27) 01:40 – Ash’s clearance diving background and fear of water after trauma 02:45 – Military and Afghanistan service; PTSD and recovery journey 04:00 – Ash joins the conversation, starts with early life and growing up in Adelaide 06:00 – Competitive swimming as a teen; early struggles and successes 07:45 – 2003: Racing against Grant Hackett at Nationals 09:18 – Backstroke vs freestyle debate; Ash’s short course gold medal (with caveats) 10:00 – Natural transition to the Navy from competitive sport 11:01 – Joining as a direct entry diver and diver vs boatswain's mate decision 12:01 – Clearance Diver selection process explained — 10 days of being wet, sandy, and psychologically tested 14:07 – What Ash learned about focus, fatigue, and resilience during selection 15:00 – 2009 shark attack incident: Ash explains what happened to Paul de Gelder 17:34 – Ash’s role in the aftermath: trauma from cleaning the boat, psychological impact 18:29 – Lingering fear of large bodies of water, even lakes 20:00 – Later incident at Jervis Bay: panic before dive leads to difficult team moment 21:12 – Realisation of responsibility and shame around not seeking help 22:30 – Stigma and lack of psychological support during service 23:45 – What clearance divers do: diving, EOD, underwater repair, and land-based ops 25:16 – How Ash ended up doing EOD work in Afghanistan despite being too junior 27:22 – Becoming the most junior sailor to deploy for combat operations in Afghanistan 28:46 – Motivation to deploy: “It’s like a footballer wanting to play a grand final” 29:00 – Getting targeted by an IED during deployment

31:30 About the Bushmaster

34:42 Pressure builds up

39:30 PTSD, cracks, symptoms and care

44:00 ‘More to live for’ – side story

49:10 Medical discharge… and there are no protective factors in the military uniform

51:00 Role identity fusion

54:30 Finning the channel- breaking it down

• Navy Clearance Diver Trust
• Paul de Gelder – Shark Attack Survivor & Advocate
• S1E27 – Sam Penny swims the English Channel

www.unforgiving60.com Email: debrief@unforgiving60.com Instagram & Twitter: @Unforgiving60

With thanks to: The Externals – available on Spotify