Welcome to The Shadow Side with Safrianna, where we illuminate what others too often keep hidden in the dark. I'm Safrianna Lughna—licensed therapist, CEO of Living LUNAs, and your guide into the world of shadow work.

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Eryn Anatavi, neurodiversity advocate and business operations expert from Seattle, to explore what it means to lead while being different in a world that demands conformity. As two neurodivergent leaders who understand the struggle of navigating systems not built for us, we dive deep into the beautiful necessity of diversity and how it strengthens everything it touches.

Eryn shares her journey of discovering her autism diagnosis just two years ago and how it completely reframed her understanding of her lifelong passion for social justice and equity. We explore the powerful analogy of biodiversity in gardens and ecosystems—how different "bugs" serve different purposes, how various plants need different conditions, and how this mirrors the human collective's need for neurodiversity.

We Discuss:

The Superpower and Kryptonite Balance

We discuss how neurodivergent traits come with both incredible strengths (hyperfocus, creativity, pattern recognition) and challenges (burnout, decision paralysis, sensory overwhelm). Eryn emphasizes that you can't love the superpower without having a plan for the kryptonite—and why leaders need systems that support both.

Universal Design for Leadership

Using brilliant analogies of cookie bars, gym equipment, and elevators, Eryn illustrates why building for the minority makes it better for the majority, but building for the majority alienates the minority. We explore how accommodations that help neurodivergent individuals actually benefit everyone in an organization.

Breaking Down Artificial Hierarchies

We challenge the notion that differences create hierarchies of value. Just as a garden doesn't rank plants by importance, human communities shouldn't rank people by how closely they fit a "normal" mold. Innovation doesn't come from sameness—it comes from embracing and leveraging our differences.

Practical Systems for Neurodivergent Leaders

Eryn shares concrete tools she's developed at Sapphire Solutions, including:

Daily intentions practice (not task lists—intentions)

Fire suppression tracking to identify patterns in what derails you

The Clarity Matrix framework (brilliance, shiny objects, monotone, and shattered quadrants)

Proficiency + Positivity = Brilliance in your work

How to prevent team turnover by addressing monotone work before burnout hits

The Profitability of Embracing Neurodiversity

We bridge the gap between two camps that often stay separate: the "efficiency and productivity" side and the "self-awareness and wellness" side. Eryn demonstrates why you need BOTH proficiency and positivity to run successful companies, and how understanding where your team members are working (in brilliance, practicing, or struggling) directly impacts retention and results.

The Extinction Burst

We address the current political and social climate, understanding attacks on diversity and inclusion as an "extinction burst"—the last desperate grab before harmful systems finally die. We discuss how to keep fighting through this difficult period while maintaining hope for what comes next.

This conversation beautifully illustrates that leading while different isn't a deficit—it's exactly what the world needs. When we create systems that honor neurodiversity, build for equity rather than equality, and allow people to work within their unique strengths, everyone benefits.

This podcast is for anyone ready to explore uncomfortable truths, do the inner work, and contribute to collective healing. If you're tired of surface-level conversations and ready to go deeper, this is your space.

About Eryn Anatavi...

Episode 17: Intergenerational Healing with Xeres

Welcome to The Shadow Side with Safrianna, where we illuminate what others too often keep hidden in the dark. I'm Safrianna Lughna - licensed therapist, CEO of Living LUNAs, and your guide into the world of shadow work.

In this episode, my guest Xeres Villanueva and I explore the complex journey of intergenerational healing, examining how generational trauma ripples through families and communities while also discovering pathways to liberation. Xeres shares her transformative story of deep self-inquiry, beginning with her grandmother's death in 2014, which initiated a profound process of uncovering family dysfunction, medical challenges, and the reclamation of ancestral wisdom.

We dive into how community-based art became a vehicle for healing, the importance of understanding our own privilege and marginalization, and how personal shadow work naturally evolves into activism and justice work. Xeres discusses her journey from struggling with identity within patriarchal Christianity to reclaiming pre-colonial Filipino spiritual practices and priesthood that honors community empowerment rather than control.

This conversation beautifully illustrates how knowing ourselves deeply—including our sticky places and areas beaten down by society—leads to authentic justice work. We explore how white men's lack of questioning themselves perpetuates systems of harm, while marginalized communities are forced into the gift of deep self-inquiry that becomes the foundation for collective liberation.

This podcast is for anyone ready to explore uncomfortable truths, do the inner work, and contribute to collective healing. If you're tired of surface-level conversations and ready to go deeper, this is your space.

GUEST INFO:

Xeres Villanueva is a leadership development coach and community organizer based in Los Angeles who serves clients everywhere. Her work supports people in discovering their genius and creating lives and work that honor their journey of liberating their soul. Xeres focuses on ancestrally rooted and culturally rooted approaches to transformation.

With extensive experience in community organizing, nonprofit organizational development, and small business support, Xeres brings a deep understanding of how systemic change and personal healing intersect.

Connect with Xeres:

Email: Xvilla1228@gmail.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_estuary_constellations

YouTube: www.youtube.com/@theestuaryconstellations1228

LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/xvilla1228

Contact: Guide@Safrianna.com | Safrianna.com | LivingLUNAs.com

**Content Warning: This episode discusses bullying, emotional abuse, childhood trauma, and mentions of violence. Please practice self-care while listening.

Welcome to The Shadow Side with Safrianna, where we illuminate what others too often keep hidden in the dark. I'm Safrianna Lughna - licensed therapist, CEO of Living LUNAs, and your guide into the world of shadow work.

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Dāli Rivera, parenting coach and bullying awareness advocate, to tackle one of the most pervasive yet under-addressed issues facing our children and communities: bullying. With a mental health epidemic affecting young people and bullying playing a significant role, this conversation couldn't be more timely or necessary.

Dāli shares her expertise on recognizing bullying behaviors, understanding their long-term impacts, and most importantly, giving parents and kids practical tools to stand up against bullying wherever it appears. We explore how bullying erodes self-worth over time, creating patterns that follow people into adulthood and affect everything from career choices to relationship dynamics.

What We Discuss:

— How bullying impacts develop over time, from childhood through adulthood

— The connection between self-love, boundaries, and standing up to bullies

— Practical scripts and responses kids can use when facing bullying

— Why some populations face disproportionately higher rates of bullying

— The importance of teaching emotional regulation and conflict resolution

— How cultural patterns around authority can enable or prevent bullying

— Why bullies need help too, and what happens when they don't get it

— Red flags for parents to watch for in their children's behavior

— How to respond when your child reports being bullied (and what NOT to say)

— The critical role of at least one supportive person in a bullied child's life

— Digital citizenship and cyber bullying in our connected world

— How self-advocacy for ourselves advocates for everyone else

Dāli brings both professional expertise and raw honesty to this conversation, breaking down the micro-habits and cultural patterns that allow bullying to thrive. From recognizing backhanded compliments to understanding gaslighting, she provides vocabulary and frameworks that help both kids and adults name what's happening to them.

We also address the uncomfortable truth that bullying isn't just a "kids being kids" issue - it's a form of abuse with serious, lasting consequences. The 84-year-old man still crying about high school bullying. The parent triggered by their child's experience because of their own unhealed wounds. The patterns of accepting mistreatment that begin when we're told we're not worth standing up for.

This episode is essential listening for parents, educators, anyone working with children, and adults still carrying the weight of childhood bullying experiences. It's also for anyone who wants to understand how the patterns of accepting abuse begin early and how we can interrupt those cycles.

About Dāli Rivera:

Dāli Rivera is a parenting coach specializing in bullying awareness and prevention. She founded her organization and the Diversity and Anti-Bullying Academy in 2017, though her work in this space began long before. Dāli is passionate about teaching families that bullying is a form of abuse that can be life-altering, starting as early as preschool and contributing significantly to the current mental health epidemic among young people.

Through her work, Dāli provides parents, educators, and children with concrete tools for recognizing, responding to, and preventing bullying. She emphasizes teaching self-love, boundary-setting, and emotional intelligence from an early age. Her book, Confident Bulletproof Kids, offers scenarios, prompts, and practical scripts to help families...