Today I'm welcoming somatic sex and relationship coach Faith Laux, who shares how her stage four colon cancer diagnosis inspired her to explore kink as a healing practice. Faith explains that kinky play doesn’t require sexual partners, discusses the importance of negotiation and communication, and introduces the five erotic blueprints: Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter. She also guides us on how to begin honest conversations with partners about unexplored desires, emphasizing self-acceptance and vulnerability as essential first steps.

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Today I'm speaking with Marni Kinrys, founder of the Wing Girl Method, about why being a "nice guy" often kills attraction.

Marni explains the crucial difference between being "nice" (passive, conflict-avoidant) and being a "good man" (confident, assertive, emotionally intelligent).

We discuss how societal conditioning creates insecurity in men, how emotional disconnection kills desire in relationships, and how men can rebuild attraction through consistent support and playful flirtation.

Marni also introduces her "F Formula" program, designed to help men develop authentic confidence and flirting skills.

MARNI KINRYS is the founder of The Wing Girl Method, host of the Ask Women Podcast, designer of the F-Formula, and an award-winning female dating coach for men ages 25-85 at every stage of dating and relationships, who’s spent the last decade helping hundreds of thousands of men stop being Mr. Nice Guy and start being Mr. Holy Sh*t, I Want Him!

With more than 50 digital programs, monthly online masterclasses, 150 million YouTube views and 1,300,000 subscribers to her channel, Marni Your Personal Wing Girl, Marni is known for her blunt, no “fluff” approach and honest insider tips, tools and advice on what women really want vs. what they say they want.

The Difference Between "Nice" and "Good" (00:03:10)

Marnie explains that "nice" often means boring and passive, while a "good" man is confident, assertive, and sexually expressive.

The Origins of the "Nice Guy" (00:05:06)

The discussion explores how early female influences, like mothers or teachers, and societal pressures can train men to be overly passive.

Modern Pressures on Men (00:07:05)

Marnie and Jen discuss how movements like #MeToo have created confusion for men, making them unsure how to act around women.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (00:13:59)

A man who can be masculine while also understanding communication and holding space for a woman's emotions is incredibly attractive.

The "Soap" Argument: Understanding Triggers (00:19:53)

Jen shares a story about an argument over soap, highlighting how small issues can trigger deeper feelings of inadequacy and mental load.

How to See Beyond the Argument (00:25:44)

Marnie explains how she coaches men to understand the real emotions behind a woman's complaints, like exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed.

Revitalizing a Sexless Marriage (00:30:40)

The conversation shifts to why wives lose sexual interest, linking it to feeling unheard, unseen, and unsupported by their partners.

Baby Steps to Reconnection (00:33:50)

Marnie offers practical, small steps for men to rebuild connection and trust, starting with consistent communication and taking on responsibilities.

What Men Really Want (00:38:02)

Men come to Marnie to learn how to attract women, which involves shedding the "nice guy" mask and becoming comfortable with themselves.

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In this episode of the Open Bedroom Podcast, My husband Scott and I discuss why people often don't get a second date, identifying 5 problematic dater archetypes: Chatty Cathy, Negative Nancy, Pillow Princess, Boring Brenda, and Free Date Fran.

Our central message is simple: show genuine curiosity about your date.

We emphasize that mutual engagement, both conversationally and intimately, is essential for meaningful connection, and that self-awareness is key to improving your dating life.

Why You're Not Getting a Second Date (00:01:16)

Jen and Scott introduce the central theme: why people often don't get called back for a second date.

The Self-Absorbed Dater (00:03:32)

Scott shares a story about a woman from his past who talked endlessly about herself without ever asking about him.

Giving Feedback to Bad Daters (00:09:30)

The hosts discuss the dilemma of whether to give direct, compassionate feedback to people after a bad date.

The Common Theme: Lack of Reciprocity (00:10:09)

Scott describes the recurring pattern of dates who talk at them for hours without showing any curiosity about their lives.

Frustration with Self-Centered Dates (00:14:25)

Jen expresses her exhaustion and frustration with the consistent lack of reciprocal engagement from the people they date.

Archetype 1: Chatty Cathy (00:17:33)

Jen introduces the first archetype of a bad dater: the person who talks nonstop and never asks any questions.

Archetype 2: Negative Nancy (00:18:07)

The hosts discuss the second archetype, using a recent date who complained constantly and ran up a large bill.

Archetype 3: The Pillow Princess (00:20:09)

Jen describes a selfish sexual partner who expects to receive pleasure without reciprocating, tying it to the same problematic date.

Archetype 4: Boring Brenda (00:26:34)

The hosts discuss dates who are uninteresting, lack hobbies or identity, and have a flat, disengaged emotional affect.

Reasons for Poor Dating Behavior (00:28:38)

Scott explores potential reasons for these behaviors, such as self-absorption, nervousness, or a simple lack of conversational skills.

The Importance of Meaningful Connection (00:30:31)

Scott explains his approach to dating, which involves seeking genuine connection and understanding who a person truly is.

Asking Deeper Questions (00:34:16)

The hosts share insightful questions they ask on dates to encourage deeper conversation and reveal a person's character.

Becoming an Interesting Person (00:39:08)

Jen advises listeners who might be "boring" to develop hobbies and interests before re-entering the dating scene.

Aligning Your Profile with Your Goals (00:41:29)

The hosts discuss the importance of ensuring your dating profile accurately reflects what you are actually looking for in a partner.

Archetype 5: Free Date Franny (00:48:19)

Jen introduces the final archetype: the person who seems to only want a free meal or night out.

Final Thoughts on Self-Awareness (00:51:10)

Scott concludes that having self-awareness and showing genuine curiosity in others is crucial for successful and fulfilling dating experiences.

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