If you ever think your job is lame, just be thankful that you don’t have to be buried with all your coworkers like the poor subjects of King Alexander. Also… why are there so many animal people in B4: The Lost City? Russell and Jeramy investigate in part three! While we’re asking questions, here’s another one: how the hell are we supposed to get all of this loot out of here? It’s almost like the author of this module wants to keep your players here forever…

The mystery of what exactly happened to Cynidicea is officially solved in part two of B4: The Lost City, and we have good news! The eldritch horror-turn-cult figure responsible for the downfall of this particular civilization is just Zargon, the coolest dude ever, who’s vibin’ on a higher frequency and providing top quality za to his couchlocked disciples. Then the boys meet the other two factions opposing the high lord: the magically limited magi of Usamigaras and the warrior maidens of Madarua, who are just waiting to lay the smack down on your candy ass.

Tom Moldvay’s 1982 sun-bleached fever dream of a dungeon starts with Russell and Jeramy lost in the desert and ends… well… maybe never! In part one of B4: The Lost City, the boys discuss the merits of survival in D&D while trying desperately to avoid eye contact with a bevy of masked weirdos trying to build them coffins and offer them sips from the honey pot. Finally, they meet the first of the old god worshipping factions who have just one question to ask: Double-double or eternal darkness, eh?