People who survived childhood trauma know things. We often don't have the words to describe what we know and why and how we know it, but it's there. These are things like the ability to read facial expressions and body language, knowing who we can trust and who we need to keep at a distance. Things like knowing how to release tension by making a joke or redirecting conversations that get heated to an entirely different topic that distracts others from the emotionally charged subject. Things like knowing when someone else is having a hard time without them ever having to say a word. Many of us don't give ourselves credit for all these things and for knowing how to survive and for our automated responses to perceived threats against us and the people we care about. In this episode we talk about the things we know that others don't. The point of it all is to help YOU, a survivor of hard things to give yourself credit for everything you've gone through and to help YOU use all those things you know to create a successful life. (We'll talk about what real success is in a different podcast so be sure to subscribe and come back.) Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, we encourage each other, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. Victims of childhood trauma can find their way out of the pain, the depression, the continued victimization, the PTSD and all of the other things that accompany the pain that stays with many people for their entire lives. Post Traumatic Stress GROWTH is real! The hosts of Successful Survivors Podcast prove it. Much work has been done in the area of PTSG, and you can be part of it. Through this podcast, successful survivors of childhood trauma tell how they overcame their painful pasts and created good lives. If we can do it, YOU CAN DO IT! To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Here's how to contact our hosts: Rhonda Sciortino www.rhonda.org Amber Jewell, LMSW www.amberjewell.org Leigh Esau www.fostercarecloset.org Diana Moshier www.iamdianamoshier.com Chris Chmielewski www.fosterfocusmag.com Dawn Windle www.facebook.com/dawn.windle

OK let's be real... we're survivors of things that were completely outside of our control. Things were done to us or happened to us when we were too little or too vulnerable to prevent them. In other words, our control was taken away. But things are different now. We have control over a lot of things now. You might not feel like you do, so today we're talking about the things we can (and should) be controlling in our lives. Victims have no control, but survivors do. To become successful survivors, we have to take control of the things we can and create our successful lives. You can do this! Victims of childhood trauma can find their way out of the pain, the depression, the continued victimization, the PTSD and all of the other things that accompany the pain that stays with many people for their entire lives. Post Traumatic Stress GROWTH is real! The hosts of Successful Survivors Podcast prove it. Much work has been done in the area of PTSG, and you can be part of it. Through this podcast, successful survivors of childhood trauma tell how they overcame their painful pasts and created good lives. If we can do it, YOU CAN DO IT! Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Here's how to contact our hosts: Rhonda Sciortino www.rhonda.org Amber Jewell, LMSW www.amberjewell.org Leigh Esau www.fostercarecloset.org Diana Moshier www.iamdianamoshier.com Chris Chmielewski www.fosterfocusmag.com Dawn Windle www.facebook.com/dawn.windle

All of us survivors have probably seen a therapist at some point or another. They can be incredibly helpful, but some of the things they say are ridiculous. Today we're taking a look at the funny things therapists say. Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection.

Here's how to contact our hosts: Rhonda Sciortino www.rhonda.org Amber Jewell, LMSW www.amberjewell.org Leigh Esau www.fostercarecloset.org Diana Moshier www.iamdianamoshier.com Chris Chmielewski www.fosterfocusmag.com Dawn Windle www.facebook.com/dawn.windle

We're hoping to ACE this podcast by talking about Adverse Childhood Experiences and the resiliency that typically accompanies surviving really hard things. Yes, life is tough, but SO ARE YOU! We want to hear your thoughts. Post them in the comments section. Like and share this with anyone you know who's had a rough childhood. We're not victims, we're kick ass survivors! Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Here's how to contact our hosts: Rhonda Sciortino www.rhonda.org Amber Jewell, LMSW www.amberjewell.org Leigh Esau www.fostercarecloset.org Diana Moshier www.iamdianamoshier.com Chris Chmielewski www.fosterfocusmag.com Dawn Windle www.facebook.com/dawn.windle

WE'VE SURVIVED REALLY HARD THINGS! In fact, we've survived all of our worst days. Some of the ways we dealt with our painful situations might not have been healthy. They served us then, but as we grow and heal, unhealthy coping like using substances that numb the pain, over-shopping, eating too much (or too little), superficial relationships, etc., don't serve us. We can replace our unhealthy coping with healthy coping strategies, and this episode is all about how we can do that. When we have a strategy ahead of time, we can ready to effectively deal with the challenges of life. The key is having your go-to strategies in place BEFORE difficulties arise. We know how to survive so we'll get through whatever we have to face! Let's be sure to do it in healthy ways that don't set back all the progress we've made. Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Here's how to contact our hosts: Rhonda Sciortino www.rhonda.org Amber Jewell, LMSW www.amberjewell.org Leigh Esau www.fostercarecloset.org Diana Moshier www.iamdianamoshier.com Chris Chmielewski www.fosterfocusmag.com Dawn Windle www.facebook.com/dawn.windle

Relationships are inevitable! You have them from the doctor who delivers you to the very last person you see when you leave this life. Your most important relationship is the one with yourself. If that's not healthy, the others won't be either. Care for yourself. Forgive yourself, and work toward loving who you are. You are a survivor. Give yourself credit for surviving all your worst days!

7 reasons why healthy relationships are crucial:

1. Emotional Well-Being

2. Physical Health

3. Personal Growth

4. Social Connection

5. Conflict Resolution

6. Happiness

7. Child Development

Three ways to create healthy relationships are:

1. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is vital. Listen actively, express your thoughts and feelings, and work on resolving conflicts constructively.

2. Trust and Respect: Building trust and showing respect are foundational. Be reliable, keep promises, and treat each other with kindness and consideration.

3. Quality Time: Spend quality time together, fostering emotional connections. Shared experiences and quality time can strengthen bonds and intimacy.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and these principles may need to be adapted to fit the specific needs of those involved.

7 signs of a possible toxic relationship can include:

1. Constant Negativity: If there's persistent criticism, contempt, or excessive negativity, it can be toxic.

2. Lack of Respect: Disregard for each other's boundaries, feelings, or autonomy is a red flag.

3. Emotional Abuse: Any form of emotional abuse, manipulation, or controlling behavior is toxic.

4. Isolation: If the relationship isolates you from friends and family, it can be unhealthy.

5. Consistent Unhappiness: If you're consistently unhappy, stressed, or anxious due to the relationship, it's a concern.

6. Imbalance of Power: A power imbalance where one person dominates or controls the other is unhealthy.

7. Incompatibility: Fundamental values and goals that are incompatible can lead to toxicity.

8. LIES

If you recognize these signs, it may be time to seek help, set boundaries, or consider ending the relationship, depending on the severity of the issues. A healthy relationship should promote well-being, respect, and growth for both individuals involved. Of course people aren't at their best when they're going through tough times, so communicate your needs, show mercy, and give the people in your life ample time to grow and improve.

For more great tips on creating your successful life, subscribe to Successful Survivors PodcastSuccessful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Please subscribe @successfulsurvivors . We're also on Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/@successfulsurvivors/podcasts

Everyone who experienced childhood trauma of any kind has felt the sadness of not being loved, of being betrayed by the people who were supposed to protect us, of all the things we didn't get and things we fear we may never have.

It has been estimated that 62% of adult survivors of childhood trauma report experiencing depression. Depression is often exacerbated by physical ailments in the lives of survivors of child abuse because the abuse manifests in our bodies.

Successful survivors have lived long enough to work through the depression. We have found the healthy coping mechanisms that work for us until we can replace sadness with genuine joy.

Today we're talking about what has worked for us that we hope will work for you too.

These strategies for dealing with depression will be helpful for anyone who is sick and tired of feeling sad and is ready to move on. So what are these strategies?

1. Acknowledge that depression is temporary. Feelings can change.

2. Realize you have power to choose your thoughts, attitudes, words and actions.

3. Become aware that you can push yourself to do whatever you have to do regardless of feelings of sadness or fear or anger.

4. Understand that perspective is important. Try to put into perspective that your abuser was wrong, out of their mind, intoxicated, etc.

5. For every negative memory you have, use 7-10 positive self-affirmations to create new thought processes and hope for your future.

6. Pay attention to what you're thinking about and acknowledge your feelings, then move on.

7. Get intentional about what you take into your mind through your eyes and ears.

8. Reach out to someone you trust who can give good advice and encouragement.

9. Find your healthy coping skills, like having fun, fitness, friends, hydrate with plenty of water, breathe deeply to get more oxygen to your brain.

10. Write down things that you're grateful for.

11. Be able to distinguish between your emotions and the truth.

12. If you feel anger, look for the emotion behind the anger.

13. Find support--don't expect it to be your significant other or best friend. Those people might be too close to give you objective help.

"Life is tough, but so are you!" --Amber Jewell, LMSW

Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Please subscribe @successfulsurvivors . If you prefer YouTube, you can find us at

You can find us all on Facebook. @rhondasciortino @dianamoshier @dawn.windle @amberjewellhope @fostercarecloset (Leigh Esau)

Here we are at episode 4 of the Successful Survivors Podcast, by survivors and for survivors of childhood trauma. Thanks for joining us! Today we're talking about how our personality traits helped us survive all that we've been through and how they help us succeed in life. We share how our ability to adapt to different people, situation, cultures, and so on helps us do what we need to do. We also talk about how important it is to adapt (like a chameleon) without losing ourselves and conforming to what others want us to be or do. We talk about our empathy, and how survivors know things that others don't. We talk about how successful survivors of child abuse, neglect and other traumas have found our way out of the darkness, and we show others how to get out and stay out of dark places. We resist the notion that in order to help others, we have to get down into the hole with them. (Sorry Brene Brown--our empathy can look different, but it isn't wrong.) We talk about resourcefulness, tenacity, and that powerful thing that will get you through anything--RESILIENCE. We survivors are the most resilient people on earth! If you doubt it, just take a look at some of our successful survivors--Tom Monaghan, billionaire founder of Dominos Pizza, Tyrus, professional wrestler (retired), comedian, and Fox News commentator, and many more remarkable people in every line of work who go about doing good in the world. Successful survivors bring hope because we EXPECT things to get better. We show up, do our best, try to learn everything we can, and we make up for in wisdom and willingness to learn what we lack in other areas. We've said it before, and we're going to keep saying it--LIVED EXPERIENCE MATTERS! We share some of our stories, and now we want to hear from YOU. You are the world's foremost expert on YOU and your story. YOU MATTER and your story matters. Please go to https://www.facebook.com/successfulsurvivorsfoundation/ and join the conversation. Please subscribe and share with the successful survivors and allies that you know. We're stronger together. Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Please subscribe at Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1191QMGWpleyW0Bv7JU1oY or wherever you get your podcasts. If you prefer the video version, please subscribe at https://www.youtube.com/successfulsurvivorsfoundationinc #podcast #survival #success #successful #overcome #childabuseawareness #fostercare