📋 Episode Summary
Emily is visiting her parents, sorting through more than 40 years of books, tools, and garden supplies, including an oar that hasn't touched water in a very long time. She's also baking apple pie from the trees her dad has tended. So she's been thinking about legacy.

For this episode's "do again," Emily brings back the Quarterly Questions conversations from Season 1. They loved the habit of regular check-ins. They just never built a way to return to them, and the six quarters since have included the deaths of Emily's brother and Marc's dad. From there, Emily and Marc wonder why excuses got such a bad name, trade report cards for compass checks, and talk about organizing a planner around values instead of roles. Emily explains why tidy roles never fit her life, and what a co-working space has taught her about crossing a threshold into work.

The conversation is reflective, honest, and playful, with a haircut compliment and an accidental drive through Delaware along the way. They end with the questions each of them is carrying forward: What do I want? What do I need? Is this mine to do? And, for Marc, am I being fully me?

🔑 Key Takeaways
• Creating a check-in practice is the easy part. Without a planned way to come back to it, it quietly disappears.
• An excuse can be a way of not owning what was yours to own. That's different from naming what was out of your control.
• Treating reflection as a compass check instead of a report card turns pass/fail into course correction.
• Simple questions bring clarity: What did you want? Where are you? What's the gap?
• Building your weekly or monthly planning around values, not only roles, keeps what matters in front of you.
• Roles rarely separate cleanly, especially for people whose work and caregiving overlap.
• "What do I want?" and "What do I need?" can feel selfish to ask, but you can't pour from an empty cup.

🗣 Quote Highlights
• "We like to create things, and if there is not a very good process in place to revisit them, then we will not." – Emily
• "I really want to get an A someplace." – Emily
• "If values are that central to me, why not orient my life around them?" – Marc
• "Sometimes together means doing things that support each other, not necessarily being physically present." – Marc
• "That's not even my ball to catch." – Marc
• "What do I want? What do I need? And is this mine to do? If I say it really fast, it'll sound like one question." – Emily
• "Am I being fully me, or am I just being mono-me?" – Marc

🧰 Tools & Mentions
• Still Figuring It Out, Season 1, Episode 9: Quarterly Questions, Part 1 — the first of the two original conversations this episode revisits. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/35d59fa5-fffe-4892-9f2e-24382bb92ee3/id/35518200
• Still Figuring It Out, Season 1, Episode 10: Quarterly Questions, Part 2 — the second half of that conversation. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/35d59fa5-fffe-4892-9f2e-24382bb92ee3/id/35518575
• Emily's Concord Leadership Group blog post about her dad and the apple trees — the legacy story that opens the episode. https://concordleadershipgroup.com/20576-2/
• Suzanne Stabile — the Enneagram teacher behind the question "Is this mine to do?" https://www.suzannestabile.com/
• FranklinCovey weekly planning — the weekly compass Marc now organizes around his values. https://www.franklincovey.com/
• The Highlands Ability Battery — the assessment that reminded Emily that high and low scores sit on a continuum, not a pass/fail scale. https://www.highlandsco.com/

👥 Who Should Listen
• Married couples who work together and want a rhythm for checking in
• People who love starting new practices and struggle to keep them going
• Planner and journal people looking for a way to keep their values in view
• Parents and caregivers whose roles never fit into neat boxes
• Leaders and coaches who give generously and forget to ask what they want or need
• Anyone carrying more than is theirs to carry

🎺 That Music!
Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass

📋 Episode Summary
Emily and Marc start where they always do, with what's on their minds. For Marc, it's the systems we live in and the stories he was told about them. For Emily, it's a Leuchtturm1917 journal with six pages left in the middle, a brand-new one waiting on her desk, and the surprisingly big question of how to begin it.

From there they return to values, picking up a thread from Season 1, Episode 11. They talk about renaming budget categories so they reflect what you care about, the credentials that act as signals for ourselves more than for anyone else, and what a calendar reveals. Marc realizes his calendar is already full of values placeholders: working the polls on election days and blocking monthly reading days. Emily names those reading days for what they are, a Sabbath pace with an intentional learning bent.

The conversation is reflective and gently playful. They share their personal values lists and end on an idea that stops them both: abundance isn't somewhere we're going. It's where we are.

🔑 Key Takeaways
• Labeling budget categories with your actual values (like "hobbies") makes the numbers more meaningful and more likely to get attention.
• Some credentials and signals are mainly for ourselves; they help us show up with more confidence and authenticity.
• You can see your real values by looking at where your money and your time actually go.
• For self-employed people, time is the inventory on the shelves, so how you spend it is a values decision.
• Rest, reading days, and "artist dates" aren't indulgences that need justifying; they refill you, and often everything else improves.
• Abundance can be a present reality to live from, even in seasons of scarcity.

🗣 Quote Highlights
• "This wasn't just an inevitable maturation of human society. This is a confluence of very specific choices and events." – Marc
• "When I have an idea, it could be an idea that doesn't need any action really for two years, but it's still more important than the thing that's on my list, like make a dentist appointment." – Emily
• "I don't think people really care that I have an ACC. What I think they care about is that I'm a really good coach, and they will become more themselves after working with me." – Emily
• "Our inventory is our time. The shelves of our store is time." – Marc
• "It's a Sabbath pace, even though it's a very intentional learning pace." – Emily
• "I'm not doing this to be productive. I'm doing this because I'm a human and I'm refilling myself." – Marc
• "If I really believe abundance exists and is where I'm operating from, it's where I am. It's not where I'm going." – Marc

🧰 Tools & Mentions
• Still Figuring It Out, Season 1, Episode 11 — the values episode that inspired this conversation. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/35d59fa5-fffe-4892-9f2e-24382bb92ee3/id/35462985
• Leuchtturm1917 dotted journals — Emily's notebook of choice for keeping her life and ideas in order. https://www.leuchtturm1917.com/
• The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron — the source of the "artist date," time set aside to do something that makes your heart sing. https://juliacameronlive.com/
• B Corp certification — a business structure Emily and Marc have considered for Concord Leadership Group as a signal of their values. https://www.bcorporation.net/
• International Coaching Federation (ICF) — the professional body behind Emily's ACC credential and the regional gathering Marc describes. https://coachingfederation.org/
• Dirty Laundry on Dropout — the show Marc hears every time Emily asks, "What's on your mind?" https://www.dropout.tv/

👥 Who Should Listen
• Coaches and solopreneurs who find business numbers uninspiring and want them to connect to what matters
• Married couples who work together and want their budget and calendar to reflect shared values
• Self-employed professionals who feel guilty taking time for rest, reading, or civic commitments
• Paper planner and bullet journal people facing the blank first page
• Leaders weighing whether credentials and certifications are worth it, and who they're really for
• Anyone trying to live from abundance instead of scarcity

🎺 That Music!
Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass

📋 Episode Summary
Emily and Marc welcome Dan Joslyn-Siemiatkoski: Marc's college roommate, the best man at their wedding, an Episcopal priest, and director of the Center for Christian-Jewish Learning at Boston College. The three of them laugh their way back to Gordon College in the 1990s, from a prep-school locker room tip to a very specific forest green Jeep Grand Cherokee, before Marc asks what Dan was trying to figure out in 1995.

That question opens a warm and honest conversation about vocation. Dan chose academic training before ordination because he wanted more grounding first. Now, in his dream job at a Roman Catholic university where he can't serve as a priest on campus, he is still figuring out what his priestly ministry looks like, along with what an empty nest and parenting adult children will mean. Marc reflects on missing pastoring and on a friend's reminder that the call doesn't leave even when the title does.

The episode closes with Dan's new book, Resisting Anti-Judaism: Practices of Christian Solidarity, and a clear, generous explanation of the difference between anti-Judaism and antisemitism, along with why a faith that leads to curiosity beats one that is small and fragile.

🔑 Key Takeaways
• Good preaching rests on knowing the scriptures, your context, and your people well, and on having only one thing to say.
• A calling can stay alive even when its shape looks nothing like what you planned when you started.
• Parenting never really ends; it changes shape, and the empty nest invites a new phase of a marriage too.
• Dan distinguishes anti-Judaism (religious bias that sees Jews as incomplete) from antisemitism (a racialized hostility that sees Jews as a permanent threat).
• Solidarity isn't zero-sum: practicing solidarity with one group prepares you for solidarity with others.

🗣 Quote Highlights
• "It's been a virtual friendship for many, many years." – Dan Joslyn-Siemiatkoski
• "I realized, oh, being ordained is more than just Sunday morning." – Dan Joslyn-Siemiatkoski
• "You need to know the scriptures really well. You need to know your context really well. You need to know your people really well." – Dan Joslyn-Siemiatkoski
• "Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen in Narnia. It still gets me, because the call is still there. It's just the shape that looks different." – Marc
• "None of them is anxiety-inducing, per se, but it's more like curiosity: where am I going next?" – Dan Joslyn-Siemiatkoski
• "Solidarity prepares you for other forms of solidarity as well." – Dan Joslyn-Siemiatkoski
• "I felt a real sense of call towards spiritual directing, and I was like, what is the deal? You have to be 35? That's so old! And now at 50, I'm like, oh, that helps so many people from being harmed by the zeal of a 20-something." – Emily
• "So much nicer to have a faith that is expansive and leads to curiosity rather than one that's small, really small and fragile." – Marc

🧰 Tools & Mentions
• Resisting Anti-Judaism: Practices of Christian Solidarity by Daniel Joslyn-Siemiatkoski — Dan's new book (Fortress Press, November 10, 2026). https://www.fortresspress.com/store/product/9798889834021/Resisting-Anti-Judaism
• Dan's website — his writing, speaking, and work in Christian-Jewish relations. https://www.danieljoslyn-siemiatkoski.com
• Dan's Substack — the newsletter Marc signed up for the night before recording. https://substack.com/@danieljoslynsiemiatkoski
• Center for Christian-Jewish Learning at Boston College — where Dan is director and Kraft Family Professor. https://www.bc.edu/bc-web/centers/Center-for-Christian-Jewish-Learning.html
• Renovaré — the spiritual formation movement whose small groups Dan, Marc, and Emily shared in college. https://renovare.org/

👥 Who Should Listen
• Pastors, priests, and Christian educators who want to notice and resist anti-Judaism in their preaching, worship, and teaching
• People discerning a call to ministry, or wondering whether to get more grounding first
• Former pastors and ministry leaders whose calling now looks different than they expected
• Parents of teens and young adults heading toward an empty nest
• Anyone curious about Christian-Jewish relations explained in plain, human terms
• Old friends who've kept a friendship alive across decades and distance

🎺 That Music!
Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass

📋 Episode Summary

Twenty-seven windows turn out to be a good starting point for talking about partnership. Emily shares how asking everyone at home to take nine meant questioning the voice that said she should do it all herself. From there, she and Marc revisit "Side-by-Side Life," exploring their habit of tending to the things nobody sees: drainage, windows, household systems, and the foundations of a shared life.

But togetherness needs room for individual lives, too. Marc admits that spending time or money on his own interests can still feel like taking something away from the family. Emily offers a different picture: a French braid, growing fuller as new strands are brought in. Perhaps hobbies, friendships, and outside commitments can bring more into a relationship.

It's a playful, candid conversation about asking for help, trusting each other, and learning to make room for personal interests without keeping a running tally of what they cost the "us." And yes, there's one piece of cherry pie left.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• The expectation to do everything yourself may come from inside your own head. Emily's family readily shared the window cleaning once she asked.
• Fixing a root problem can matter more than making a visible improvement. Marc and Emily connect their approach to home repairs with the less visible work they do in organizations.
• Shared priorities don't mean identical roles or timing. Emily often gets a decision moving, while their conversations give them space to hear each other and sometimes set an idea aside.
• Adding a budget line for hobbies gave personal interests an explicit place in their shared priorities, alongside education and entertainment.
• A partner's encouragement can help challenge guilt about taking time for yourself. Marc describes how Emily's reminders to have fun help him question his assumption that he's taking away from the family.
• Emily's French-braid image offers a way to think about outside interests: each person can bring experiences, relationships, and energy back into their life together.

🗣 Quote Highlights

• "It was just the voices in my head that were telling me that I should do everything. And I didn't listen to those voices." – Emily

• "Not just looking at what's in the stream here, but looking upstream, what's causing that." – Marc

• "I think we still treat our home as making it better for the next person." – Emily

• "Like when watercolors bleed together, there's the us." – Emily

• "That negative voice in my head isn't necessarily reflecting reality. It's a perception that I can let go of." – Marc

• "That's what I feel like our hobbies and our outside commitments are, is that bring more into our togetherness and our side-by-sideness." – Emily

🧰 Tools & Mentions

• Side-by-Side Life — Season 3, Episode 3 of Still Figuring It Out, the starting point for this conversation.
• Working Genius — Emily and Marc refer to their shared strengths of Invention and Discernment while considering how they make decisions together.
• A values-based budget — naming spending categories for what matters to them, including a dedicated line for hobbies.
• Dr. Sarah Glova's newsletter — Emily shares its reminder that life isn't pizza: one person receiving something doesn't automatically leave less for someone else.

👥 Who Should Listen

• Partners who enjoy sharing life closely but are learning to make room for individual interests.
• Anyone who feels guilty spending time or money on a hobby.
• People who take on household responsibilities without asking whether others could share them.
• Couples navigating changing routines as their children become more independent.
• People who put effort into necessary, unseen improvements—and sometimes wish they could have the lovely kitchen, too.

🎺 That Music!
Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass

📋 Episode Summary

We know people through their stories—but even with the people we love most, we only have part of the collection. Emily and Marc open Season 5 by revisiting story and identity, wondering how the stories they tell, remember, and discover continue to change their understanding of themselves and each other.

Emily reflects on writing about her dad's apple trees and realizing how much of his life happened outside her view. Marc shares how asking his father questions as an adult changed his interpretation of childhood experiences—and how precious those conversations have become since his father's death. Along the way, they explore family history, the labels we accept, and the strange familiarity of knowing someone through a podcast.

As Emily prepares to help care for her parents, the conversation turns toward the stories still being written. There's humor, tenderness, and an honest admission about the effort it sometimes takes to keep going—and the curiosity that makes another climb feel worthwhile.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Knowing someone well in one setting or season doesn't mean knowing their whole life. Emily's writing about her father brought those gaps into focus.
• Asking about a familiar event can change the story you've carried for years. Marc's conversations with his dad helped him understand past family decisions differently.
• Simple family-history questions can open unexpected conversations. Emily's worksheet for her mother uncovered details and stories she hadn't known to ask about.
• Labels deserve another look. Marc reflects on which ones he has accepted and what story his inner critic might be trying to prove right.
• Preparing for caregiving can include asking how you want to be with the people involved, alongside planning healthcare, housing, and chores.
• Continuing a creative project can bring mixed feelings. Emily names the fatigue she felt after Season 4 and the renewed curiosity that helped her commit to another season.

🗣 Quote Highlights

• "We only know so much about a person's full catalog of stories, their full identity." – Emily

• "When Dad was here, the stories would seem always accessible. And now they're gone." – Marc

• "It really humanizes people to hear about their story." – Marc

• "What story is that trying to prove right by criticizing me?" – Marc

• "What story do I want to write for myself and with my mom and dad?" – Emily

• "I know what I want my heroine's journey to be like during the next few months." – Emily

• "I anticipate a different sense of perspective and accomplishment after this season." – Emily

🧰 Tools & Mentions

• Story, Identity, and 30 Years — Season 2, Episode 7 of Still Figuring It Out, the starting point for this episode's conversation.
• Inner Propaganda by Owen Fitzpatrick — Marc's current reading about stories, labels, and how we process information.
• Emily's blog post for Concord Leadership Group about her father's work with apple trees — writing that prompted her reflection on the parts of a parent's life we know and the parts we miss.

👥 Who Should Listen

• Adult children discovering new sides of their parents through conversations, caregiving, or family history.
• People grieving a parent and thinking about the stories they remember—or wish they had asked for.
• Anyone questioning a familiar label or a story their inner critic keeps repeating.
• People preparing for a demanding season who want to think about how they'll show up in it.
• Creators deciding whether to keep going after the initial excitement has given way to fatigue.

🎺 That Music!
Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass

📋 Episode Summary

Emily and Marc welcome Kristin Steele and Samantha Swaim of Swaim Strategies for the first couple-to-couple conversation on Still Figuring It Out. Kristin and Sam talk about working together, living together, and building a business rooted in storytelling, strategy, events, justice, and connection.

The conversation moves from partner dynamics—back of house and front of house, listening to learn and listening to facilitate—to the deeper question of how people reconnect after years of disconnection. Kristin and Sam describe the "connection recession" they are seeing in nonprofits and beyond: the loss of belonging that happened through canceled gatherings, virtual-only meetings, reduced volunteer programs, and fewer small, meaningful points of contact.

They also reflect on freedom in self-employment, the discipline of saying no, and the ongoing work of aligning business decisions with joy, impact, capacity, and values. By the end, the camper van becomes its own metaphor: everything has a place, and if you do not like where you are, you can go.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Couples who work together need shared rules, complementary roles, and the discipline not to both panic at the same time.

• Being each other's number one fan matters when work, risk, and life are deeply intertwined.

• Different listening styles can strengthen shared work: one person may listen to facilitate while another listens to learn.

• The "connection recession" has affected nonprofits by weakening donor belonging, volunteer engagement, and everyday relational touchpoints.

• Smaller, more meaningful gatherings can rebuild connection more effectively than assuming one big event will repair everything.

• Freedom in business often means remembering you are the decision maker—and that you are allowed to design the matrix that works for your life.

• Saying no can be an act of integrity when a project's needs are larger than your available capacity.

🗣 Quote Highlights

"You can't both go there." – Kristin

"I listen to facilitate, and Kristin listens to learn." – Sam

"'Connection recession' is 'a million little paper cuts' that created separation.' – Sam

"People are remembering that it can feel good to be together." – Sam

"The biggest gateway to freedom is remembering that we're the decision makers." – Kristin

"Our joy is typically found in where we make the biggest impact." – Sam

"Freedom is walking away from things, too." – Kristin

🧰 Tools & Mentions

• Swaim Strategies https://swaimstrategies.com/

• The Fundraising Elevator podcast

• Elevate conference

• Planning a Successful Major Donor Event by Kristin Steele and Samantha Swaim

• Swaim Strategies Substack series on collective effervescence https://swaimstrategies.substack.com/

• Slow Productivity by Cal Newport

👥 Who Should Listen

• Couples who work together or are wondering if they could

• Nonprofit leaders trying to rebuild donor connection and belonging

• Fundraisers rethinking events as meaningful gatherings rather than obligations

• Entrepreneurs learning how to say no without abandoning impact

• People navigating the balance between self-care, community care, and meaningful work

• Anyone interested in how connection, joy, and belonging shape generosity

🎺 That Music!

Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass

📋 Episode Summary

Emily and Marc continue their Season 4 exploration of transitions with the word "momentum." From physics class and hybrid cars to business, creativity, family, and habit, they consider what it means to work with the energy already in motion.

They also question the business-world myth that enough effort will eventually create a flywheel that runs forever. Life keeps changing. Clients change, circumstances shift, families grow, bodies age, and even healthy momentum can carry us farther than our values want us to go.

The conversation turns toward a more flexible understanding of momentum: learning when to use it, when to redirect it, and when to step away. Momentum can come from curiosity, disciplined habits, creative work, or forces outside us. The goal may not be to keep moving faster, but to remain centered enough to work with whatever is moving now.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Momentum can help us move forward, slow down, or conserve energy; it is not always about acceleration.

• The idea that a business or life will eventually run on its own is often more myth than reality.

• When change is constant, the useful question may be, "Where is the momentum now?" rather than "Why did my original momentum disappear?"

• Productive momentum is not automatically healthy momentum.

• Values help us decide when to keep working and when continuing would pull us away from the life we want.

• We get to define success for the season we are in rather than borrowing someone else's metrics.

• Habits can create momentum by helping today's choices serve tomorrow's needs.

🗣 Quote Highlights

"It was fun to work with the forces that be." – Marc

"Momentum wasn't to go faster and faster. It was using momentum in the process of slowing down." – Marc

"If change is the constant, then change is the energy." – Emily

"I knew that it was not a healthy momentum. I needed to step out of that path." – Emily

"You set the standard of success." – Emily

"You just need to know what you want and what your values are." – Emily

"Tomorrow's me is going to be really happy if today's me does this thing that I don't want to do." – Marc

"I'm just going to complete this now so I can close the tab in my mental browser." – Marc

🧰 Tools & Mentions

• The Secret Lives of Color by Kassia St. Clair

• Nonprofit Academy Summer Camp https://www.nonprofitacademy.com/course/summer-camp-2026/

• English paper piecing

• Legendborn series by Tracy Deonn

• CliftonStrengths

• The Highlands Ability Battery

👥 Who Should Listen

• Entrepreneurs trying to define success on their own terms

• People who tend to keep working simply because the energy is there

• Leaders frustrated when changing circumstances interrupt their plans

• Anyone trying to build habits that support their future self

• Lifelong learners who recognize curiosity as a source of momentum

• People navigating a season in which their family, work, or physical capacity is changing

🎺 That Music!

Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass