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Sisters In Sobriety

Sisters In Sobriety

By: Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen
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You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety. In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery. Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more. Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together...Sisters In Sobriety Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Why Goal Setting Isn’t Working — and What to Do Instead With Danielle M

    Why Goal Setting Isn’t Working — and What to Do Instead With Danielle M
    Jun 29 2026
    Feeling flat, burned out, or disconnected after doing everything “right” can be confusing—especially for high-achieving women who are used to setting goals, checking boxes, and pushing through. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia speaks with Danielle McGeough, a professor, speaker, transformation strategist, host of the Plan Goal Plan podcast, and creator of the RISE Ritual Method. Danielle helps high-performing women and teams reconnect with their core identities, navigate transitions, and create intentional plans that support sustainable growth. Sonia and Danielle explore what happens when ambition starts to feel empty, why burnout and demoralization are not the same thing, and how women can begin redefining success after a major life shift. They look at the difference between productivity and purpose, how planning can become a tool for self-discovery, and why so many people turn rest, wellness, sobriety, or even creativity into another pressure-filled checklist. The conversation also asks: How do goals change when identity changes? How can ritual help with habit change? And what does it mean to build a life that feels aligned instead of simply impressive? Danielle breaks down the difference between habits, routines, and rituals, explaining why habits are meant to become automatic while rituals are designed to bring people back into presence and meaning. She shares how rituals can help shift someone from one state to another, whether that is from work mode into home mode, from reactive parenting into calm connection, or from “gap thinking” into recognizing the gains already made. The episode also touches on consistency, flexibility, all-or-nothing thinking, moderation, replacement rituals, early sobriety, and the power of adding a little “ish” to the places where perfectionism has taken over. In the personal story segment, Sonia opens up about redefining success after selling her orthodontic practice, writing her book, and noticing how easily her own ambition can turn hobbies, healing, and self-growth into another metric to master. Danielle shares how her own experience of burnout, motherhood, demoralization, and identity loss led her to rethink planning as something deeper than time management. Together, they explore how alcohol can function as a transition ritual, why letting go of that ritual can involve grief, and how new rituals can help support identity change in sobriety and beyond. Highlights [00:01:00] Danielle introduces herself as a mom, professor, and “ritual nerd.” [00:02:00] Danielle shares how achievement, habits, and hard work helped her earn a PhD and tenure—but left her feeling flat. [00:03:00] The conversation turns to burnout, anxiety, rumination, and realizing something needed to shift. [00:05:00] Danielle explains how decorative planning and stickers unexpectedly helped her slow down and reflect. [00:07:00] Danielle defines the difference between burnout and demoralization. [00:08:00] Sonia asks how demoralization changed Danielle’s relationship with goals and ambition. [00:09:00] Danielle describes bitterness, numbness, resentment, and the desire to disconnect. [00:11:00] Danielle reflects on using novels, Netflix, and over-exercising as ways to avoid her own feelings. [00:12:00] Sonia asks how Danielle’s identity had to evolve beyond career, wife, and mother roles. [00:14:00] Danielle reframes planning as a way to collect data about values, priorities, and self-connection. [00:15:00] Danielle explains the difference between habits and rituals. [00:16:00] Danielle shares why rituals are powerful tools for identity change. [00:17:00] Danielle explains the RISE Ritual Method through the story of “Safe Place Sarah.” [00:20:00] Danielle describes how her research on collective rituals helped shape her personal ritual framework. [00:22:00] Danielle explains why traditional goal-setting can feel too abrupt for women who are disconnected from their desires. [00:24:00] Sonia opens up about redefining success after selling her orthodontic practice. [00:29:00] Sonia and Danielle discuss turning sobriety, wellness, rest, and hobbies into productivity projects. [00:32:00] Danielle introduces the idea that change may begin with intensity but is maintained by consistency. [00:36:00] Danielle reframes consistency as shortening the gap between “oops” and starting again. [00:44:00] Sonia and Danielle explore how alcohol can become a transition ritual, and how replacement rituals can support early sobriety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Danielle's Links Website Instagram SIS LINKS 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this ...
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    55 mins
  • Why Successful Women Get Stuck in the Same Relationship Patterns With Riana M

    Why Successful Women Get Stuck in the Same Relationship Patterns With Riana M
    Jun 22 2026
    In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Riana Malia explore how old relationship patterns, identity shifts, and unconscious beliefs can keep women stuck in cycles that no longer match the lives they are trying to build. Riana is a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner whose work helps women break long-standing relational patterns and create deeper, more authentic connection. They look at what happens when women have done the inner work, moved through sobriety, divorce, reinvention, or major life transitions, and are ready for relationships that reflect who they are now — not who they used to be. The conversation opens up big questions about why high-achieving women can be so successful, strategic, and clear in their careers, yet still feel confused or stuck in love, dating, friendships, family dynamics, or partnership. Why do the same patterns keep repeating? What is the difference between knowing a pattern intellectually and actually releasing it from the body? How do childhood beliefs, unconscious programming, and old identities shape the way women choose, attach, perform, shrink, over-function, or settle in relationships? Riana explains how neuroscience, somatic awareness, identity work, and emotional release come together in her Clear to Create method. She talks about clearing old stories, cycles, resentment, loss, limiting beliefs, and emotional charge so that women can create confidence, partnership, love, and a life that feels aligned. The episode also explores why “I don’t want this anymore” can still keep attention fixed on the very thing someone is trying to avoid, how the unconscious mind drives so many relationship patterns, and why replacing old neurology matters just as much as understanding it. Riana also shares practical tools, including her “Magnet for Miracles” exercise and a 72-hour rubber-band practice designed to interrupt negative thought loops and redirect attention toward what is actually desired. Riana shares the life experiences that shaped her work — growing up with a distant father, being forced to become resourceful at 18, entering a lonely young marriage, navigating a painful divorce, moving across the country, losing financial security, and eventually finding herself in a relationship that became her line-in-the-sand moment. Her story traces the path from survival and self-abandonment to clarity, self-trust, and becoming available for a different kind of love. She also shares how doing this work changed her own life and helped her become ready for the healthy partnership she once thought would never happen for her. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Riana Malia is introduced as a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner helping women break old relationship patterns. [00:02:00] Riana shares the early experience of being left without college housing support and learning how to become resourceful. [00:03:00] She describes getting three jobs, renting a house, and staying in school despite having no clear path forward. [00:04:00] Riana talks about marrying young, feeling lonely in marriage, and becoming a mother. [00:05:00] She opens up about the fear, anger, and volatility that followed her divorce. [00:06:00] Riana explains the decision to move to California despite every instinct telling her not to. [00:08:00] She recounts the DEA investigation that upended her life and froze the assets she was relying on. [00:09:00] Riana describes choosing to stay in California to keep her promise to her daughter. [00:10:00] She shares the “never again” moment that led her to stop shrinking, performing, and abandoning herself in relationships. [00:11:00] Riana introduces her Clear to Create method and explains why people have to clear old stories before creating a new life. [00:12:00] She explains how unconscious patterns keep people repeating the same relationships, jobs, money patterns, or family dynamics. [00:14:00] Riana talks about becoming ready to receive healthy love after clearing old toxic patterns. [00:16:00] She uses a dinner order metaphor to explain why clarity, specificity, values, desires, and non-negotiables matter. [00:18:00] Riana explains why high-achieving women can feel confident at work but stuck in relationships. [00:19:00] She breaks down the conscious and unconscious mind using the 10% and 90% framework. [00:22:00] Riana compares old identities and beliefs to expired pantry items that need to be cleared out. [00:24:00] She explains the difference between becoming aware of a pattern and actually replacing the neurology behind it. [00:31:00] Riana shares the bridge metaphor for stepping into a new identity that matches who someone is becoming. [00:39:00] Sonia asks about manifestation, and Riana reframes it through neuroscience, frequency, and attention. [00:43:00] Riana walks ...
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    55 mins
  • Sonia Does The Steps: Step 3 - From Willpower to Willingness

    Sonia Does The Steps: Step 3 - From Willpower to Willingness
    Jun 8 2026
    In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen continue the 12-step series with Arlina Allen for a real, funny, and deeply honest conversation about Step Three: making a decision to turn will and life over to a higher power. Arlina helps unpack the language that can feel intimidating, especially the “God” part, and reframes Step Three as a practice of willingness, surrender, and learning to stop doing recovery alone. The conversation explores what it means to move from willpower to willingness, why “trying harder” often keeps people stuck, and how dependence on a higher power can actually create more freedom. Sonia and Arlina talk about abstinence, moderation, self-will, fear, control, family triggers, difficult conversations, and the emotional gymnastics of wondering whether there is an “easier, softer way” to stay sober. Along the way, they make Step Three feel practical and human. They discuss the difference between surrender and giving up, how intuition can show up as peace, why self-care is part of spiritual practice, and how resentment becomes a bridge into Step Four. The episode also touches on the Serenity Prayer, direct communication, emotional responsibility, and the inventory process: naming resentments, identifying how they affect self-esteem, security, relationships, and fear, and beginning to see one’s own patterns without collapsing into shame. In the personal story segment, Sonia reflects on the relief and grief of realizing that full abstinence is the easier, softer way for her, even when part of her wishes she could use substances differently. Arlina shares how old family patterns, friendship endings, people-pleasing, and “everybody hates me” thinking still show up after decades of sobriety—and how connection, gratitude, honest conversations, and returning to practice help bring her back to peace. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Sonia explains why Step Two felt like a mental hurdle. [00:03:00] Arlina reads Step Three and reframes it through willingness. [00:04:00] The set-aside prayer opens the door to new information. [00:05:00] Sonia shares when she finally became willing to consider abstinence. [00:06:00] Dependence on a higher power becomes independence of spirit. [00:08:00] Step Three is not abdicating responsibility. [00:09:00] Arlina explains ego, intuition, and the quiet voice of peace. [00:12:00] Outside perspective helps interrupt the silo of self-will. [00:14:00] Family triggers reveal old default settings. [00:16:00] Arlina checks self-care when “nobody likes me” thinking returns. [00:18:00] Sonia reflects on learning to treat herself like a precious object. [00:21:00] Recovery as a practice, not a one-time achievement. [00:23:00] “Ish” and dimmer switches offer a gentler view of consistency. [00:24:00] Arlina defines self-will as fear, control, and self-centeredness. [00:27:00] Love versus fear becomes a simple spiritual gut check. [00:30:00] Letting go of a friendship becomes an act of self-respect. [00:33:00] Sonia connects with “no easier, softer way.” [00:36:00] Running the experiment again is no longer necessary. [00:39:00] Resentments become the bridge into Step Four. [00:48:00] The Serenity Prayer becomes a tool for emotional disturbance and indecision. Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
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    57 mins
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