There’s a place we can all find ourselves in from time to time — a place where it feels like things are happening to us, where someone else is to blame, and where we don’t have a choice. Rachel Russell of Quiet Frankly Coaching calls this victimhood, and she’s direct about it: it’s not a place that serves us. When we stay there, we give our power away — and often pass that feeling of wrongness on to someone else. In this She Short, Rachel offers a question that isn’t easy to ask, but that can be genuinely transformative. It’s the kind of question that helps us see a situation as it actually is, rather than through the lens of blame. And that clarity? That’s where real change begins.

In This Short

Rachel explores:

• What happens when we stay in victimhood — we give our power away, feel like we don’t have a choice, and often impose that sense of wrongness onto others

• A courageous set of questions to ask yourself: How am I playing this game? How am I complicit in this? And how is blaming the situation or the other person actually helping me?

• Why the answers to these questions — even though they’re uncomfortable — can be a genuine turning point, helping us see things as they are rather than through our perception of them

Quotable Moment

“It doesn’t make you feel great when you do ask that question, but the answers that come from it are going to be an absolute game changer — because you actually start to see how it is, rather than your perception of it.” — Rachel Russell

Something to Try

Think of a situation where you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or like someone else is the problem. Then, with compassion for yourself, ask: how am I playing a part in this? This isn’t about self-blame — it’s about self-honesty. It’s about seeing where you might be giving your power away and asking whether blame is actually moving you forward or keeping you exactly where you are. The answer might be uncomfortable. But as Rachel says, what comes from that discomfort can change everything.

About Rachel

Rachel Russell is the founder of Quiet Frankly Coaching, based in Bunbury, Western Australia.

Connect With Us

• Follow She Speaks on Instagram: @shespeakswellbeingstrategies

• Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com

A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women’s voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and lived wisdom, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If themes in this episode resonate or you are finding things difficult, we encourage you to reach out to a registered mental health practitioner, counsellor or psychologist.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women’s Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.

I should call that person. I should do the washing. I should do more. Sound familiar? In this She Short, Rachel Russell of Quiet Frankly Coaching zooms in on a word most of us use without thinking — and shows how it quietly drains our energy and makes us feel wrong for simply being where we are. Her solution is disarmingly small: change the first two letters. Swap should for could, and suddenly you’re not failing at a list of obligations — you’re a person with choices. It’s one of the fastest shifts Rachel knows, and it gives you something back that’s easy to lose sight of: your own empowerment.

In This Short

Rachel explores:

• Why should equals wrong — and how a word we barely notice can leave us feeling heavy, obligated, and like we’re never quite enough

• The power of changing just two letters: from should to could — and how that instantly returns a sense of choice and lightness

• How could opens the door to negotiation with yourself — I could do that, but I’ll do it later — rather than the silent verdict of I’m wrong because I haven’t

Quotable Moment

“It’s just giving you your empowerment back and it’s giving you your choice back, and that is going to make you feel heaps better.” — Rachel Russell

Something to Try

Pay attention to how often should appears in your thinking today. You might be surprised. Each time you catch it, try the swap: I could do that. Then notice what follows. Maybe you still choose to do it — but now it’s a choice, not an obligation. Or maybe you give yourself permission to do it later, or not at all. Either way, you’ve moved from being wrong to being in charge. That’s no small thing.

About Rachel

Rachel Russell is the founder of Quiet Frankly Coaching, based in Bunbury, Western Australia.

Connect With Us

• Follow She Speaks on Instagram: @shespeakswellbeingstrategies

• Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com

A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women’s voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and lived wisdom, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If themes in this episode resonate or you are finding things difficult, we encourage you to reach out to a registered mental health practitioner, counsellor or psychologist.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women’s Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.

It’s difficult to take on the day when you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, hangry (and yes, Rachel confirms, that’s absolutely a thing), or just generally out of sorts. We know we want to feel capable and grounded, but the gap between where we are and where we want to be can feel enormous. In this She Short, Rachel Russell of Quiet Frankly Coaching offers something that takes about one second and uses the two things you already have: your body and your breath. Stand tall, breathe in what you want to feel, breathe out what you’re currently carrying. It’s that simple — and it’s surprisingly powerful.

In This Short
Rachel shares:

• How to reset your posture as a starting point — shoulders back, chest open, head held high — and why how we hold our body changes how we feel

• A one-breath technique: on the inhale, breathe in everything you want to feel — calm, confidence, kindness, assurance. On the exhale, release what you’re currently holding — overwhelm, tiredness, dysregulation

• Why you don’t need to feel ready to take on the day before you can start shifting how you feel

Quotable Moment

“We’re breathing in all the things we want to feel. And then in the exhale, all the things we are currently feeling. We’re inviting all the things in and releasing all the things out.” — Rachel Russell

Something to Try

Try this right now. Stand up or sit up tall. Roll your shoulders back, lift your chest a little, hold your head high. Now take one big, beautiful breath in and name what you want to feel — perhaps it’s calm, or clarity, or steadiness. Then exhale slowly and let go of whatever you’ve been carrying — the tiredness, the overwhelm, the feeling of being out of sorts. One breath. That’s all it takes to begin. You can come back to it as many times as you need throughout the day.

About Rachel

Rachel Russell is the founder of Quiet Frankly Coaching, based in Bunbury, Western Australia.

Connect With Us

• Follow She Speaks on Instagram: @shespeakswellbeingstrategies

• Visit our website: www.shespeakswellbeing.com

A Note on Wellbeing

She Speaks is dedicated to amplifying women’s voices on self-care and wellbeing. While we share personal experiences and lived wisdom, please remember that this podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If themes in this episode resonate or you are finding things difficult, we encourage you to reach out to a registered mental health practitioner, counsellor or psychologist.

She Speaks is proudly supported by the Western Australian Government and Department of Communities Women’s Grants for a Stronger Future Grants Program.