In this episode of the Call Me Courage Podcast, Sandra and Kena explore how to shift from shame and inadequacy to power and self-trust. They discuss practical methods like the VALID framework, the importance of self-awareness, and healing old wounds to reconnect with the true self.

The conversation delves into the understanding of inadequacy and shame, emphasizing the importance of recognizing inadequacy as a signal, not a truth.

Sandra shares the three words she says when connecting to her true self, truth, peace and power”

• Bring me truth
• Bring me peace
• Bring me power

Sandra references the Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan 1-2-3 Steps

1. Identify / name the feeling.
2. Identify the cause of the feeling (unfilled need, want or desire).
3. Identify a satisfying response - that is an action that fulfills the need, want or desire.

Please Note - The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Sandra and Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

SANDRA’S KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Inadequacy is a signal, not a truth — and shame grows when we mistake the feeling for our identity.
• Avoidance is protection, not failure — it shows us where something deeper needs care.
• The VALID method and Banyan’s 123 process help us separate past from present and find a satisfying, grounded response.
• Reconnecting with our True Self — through intention and not taking things personally — is the antidote to self betrayal.

KEYWORDS: self-awareness, shame, inadequacy, healing, VALID method, self-trust, emotional intelligence, personal growth

KEY TOPICS

• The VALID method for emotional healing
• The role of shame and inadequacy in self-betrayal
• How to reconnect with your true self
• Using feelings as signals for growth
• Separating past wounds from present triggers

TAKEAWAYS

• Inadequacy is a signal, not a fact.
• Naming feelings validates our true selves.
• Healing involves separating past beliefs from present reality.
• The VALID method guides from feeling to empowerment.
• Patience and self-compassion are crucial in growth.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Healing from Shame

04:19 The Valid Method: Naming Feelings

07:09 Identifying the Cause of Inadequacy

10:18 Shifting from Inadequacy to Empowerment

13:26 The Process of Learning and Growth

16:14 Reconnecting with the True Self

18:59 Inadequacy as a Signal for Growth

21:59 Conclusion and Key Takeaways

26:23 NEWCHAPTER_2

RESOURCES

The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin Banyan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VJX7V7X

VALID Method Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsLGuM1jZqA

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