Were we ever actually taught how to date, or just how to avoid getting “messed up”? In this layered conversation, Shan and CoCo unpack how black family, culture, generational trauma, and “crisis prevention” shaped what many of us learned about love. Joined by licensed clinical social worker Miesha Rice and Atlanta dating host Vanessa, the group explores why courtship can feel foreign, how dating apps changed accountability, and what it takes to build healthier connections when nobody handed you the blueprint.

• Why so many of us were taught what not to do (don’t get pregnant, don’t ruin your future) instead of how to build a healthy relationship

• How family history, long-term stress, and generational patterns can show up in adult dating choices

• The “connection vs protection” gap: what was missing from the conversations we needed

• A real talk breakdown of ghosting, fading out, and the lack of accountability in modern dating

• The “date them all” debate: keeping options open, communicating expectations, and avoiding rose-colored glasses

• Why singles mixers and in-person events are trending again (and what they offer that apps can’t)

• A powerful case for therapy early, including the idea of moderated conversations at the start of dating

Shan brings in a viral-style perspective on how Black communities are socialized differently around dating, courtship, and “pair bonding,” than their White counterparts sparked by a video that a friend shared with her from @bunmisupreme on Instagram. The conversation expands the idea by adding emotional availability, family modeling (even in two-parent homes), and the long shadow of cultural and historical trauma.

• If your only relationship education was avoidance, it makes sense that adult dating can feel confusing, anxious, or high-stakes.

• “Serious” isn’t assumed anymore. Clarity comes from direct conversations about what dating means to each person.

• Apps can encourage low-effort behavior. In-person spaces often create more accountability and real chemistry checks.

• Emotional intelligence matters early. Look for it before you’re already invested.

• Healing isn’t just personal, it’s cultural. Therapy and guided conversations can help you build a new script.

Vanessa (Dating Host)

• Company: Jigsaw Dating (app)

• Instagram: @popupwithvaness

• Promo code: VanessaHost10 (10% off first ticket)

Miesha Rice, MSW, LCSW-C, LCSW

• CEO/Founder: Whole Family Healing Group

• Therapy for individuals and families (ages 6+)

• Website: www.wholefamilyhealinggroup.com

Clip Credit: @bunmisupreme on Instagram

What did you learn about dating growing up: connection, protection, or nothing at all? And how is that showing up in your relationships right now?

If this episode made you think, send it to a friend who’s “tired of the apps” and trying to date with intention.

And connect with us: @RideOrLiePodcast on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok

In this episode of Ride or Lie, Coco and Shan step away from surface-level conversations and get honest about the question that shapes everything:

Why are we really doing this?

This is a reflective, vulnerable conversation about purpose, evolution, mental health, and the courage it takes to choose yourself, especially when life doesn’t look the way you imagined it would.

Shan opens up about how her “why” has shifted over time, from ambition and entrepreneurship to motherhood, healing, and stability. She shares how becoming a mother reshaped her priorities around mental health, financial security, emotional safety, and self-preservation. This season of her life is about being whole so she can show up fully, not just for her child, but for herself.

Coco shares a deeply personal reflection on her own journey, stepping back from distractions, reassessing dating, and choosing alignment over noise. Her “why” is bigger than relationships and external validation. It’s about safety, creativity, integrity, and being able to say, at the end of the day, “I’m proud of myself.”

Together, they unpack: • Mental health and emotional regulation • Personal growth through pain and transition • Letting go of distractions that no longer align • Redefining success beyond relationships and timelines • What it means to evolve without abandoning who you are

The conversation also touches on current events and culture, including reflections on media coverage, loss, and visibility. They reference the public attention surrounding Savannah Guthrie and how empathy, access, and attention show up differently in national news.

This episode lands during Black History Month, grounding the discussion in awareness, reflection, and community responsibility. Coco and Shan also acknowledge recent loss in the culture, including the passing of DJ Young Slade, the son of Lil Jon.

Connect with us anytime @rideorliepodcast

On this episode of the Ride or Lie Podcast, we’re tackling a real struggle in today’s dating world—swipe fatigue. With endless choices, ghosting, and the never-ending cycle of matching but never meeting, or meeting and being severely disappointed, are we all just burning out on modern dating through app overload?

Join us and our special guest co-host, Jarratt Damn, of the It’s About Damn Time podcast, bringing his unfiltered take on modern dating and why so many of us are feeling so exhausted by this app game!

What We Cover in This Episode:

• What swipe fatigue really is and why so many people are feeling it.
• Why online dating feels like a full-time job—are we even enjoying it anymore?
• How dating apps may be training us to seek validation rather than real connection.
• The mental toll of endless swiping: Can we actually date without burning out?
• What you can do if you’re experiencing dating app burnout.

We Want to Hear from You!

Are you over the dating apps? Have you ever taken a break from swiping? What’s your biggest struggle with online dating? Drop your thoughts in the comments or visit us on our socials @rideorliepodcast.

Let's ride!