The boss man is smoking doobies on the roof...but I think i'm keep my mouth shut yanno, for business purposes

Yea dude I hate to break it to you but my train seat isn't really the place to be cutting your toenails...good on you for caring about hygene though

At this point I think we need to accept that the government just has a weird obsession with trying to optimize birds to do their work for them? Why have a human with a machine gun when we could just train a chicken to do it??

Watering your neighbour's lawn? Welp...I hope you enjoy rotting in a cell for the rest of your life

"Yea dude so she booty called me! Thank God I dodged that one!!"

"But you're hardly friends with her"

"I know dude! Wow...what a relief"

"..."

Oh yea being a concert photographer for Travis Scott was cool...right before I became paralyzed during a moshpit

Hey man do you have any tissues?

Yea of course man there a bunch in the trash I just used but their still good!

:-|

yea I can't say we are rallying behind our boss at the office...we went out for drinks and watched him get curved by a waitress so not exactly a role model...