Courtly Love Myths vs. Lived Medieval Marriage (Valentine’s Debrief)

Valentine’s Day sells us a medieval love story: longing, poetry, destiny… and maybe a tasteful lute in the background.

But medieval marriage? That was often a household institution—built for property, kin networks, labor, inheritance, and survival—with romance as a sometimes-guest, not the foundation.

In this Debrief, we rip the fig leaf off the most persistent Valentine myth: that “courtly love” equals medieval reality. We break down how courtly love worked as an elite genre (coded devotion, distance, performance), why that genre stuck to February like cultural glue, and how modern Valentine’s Day mass-markets a romance script that was never meant to fit most people’s lives in the first place.

Music Credits:

• "Our Story Begins" Kevin MacLeod (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠incompetech.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License ⁠http://⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Music track: lavender by massobeats Source: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://freetouse.com/music ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Royalty Free Music for Video (Safe)

Valentine’s Day isn’t one origin story—it’s a stack of stories.

It starts in martyrdom: early Christian executions and a name—Valentine—that becomes attached to a date. Then the legend engine kicks in, turning a blurry saint into a romantic character. Then medieval courtly love rebrands romance as a performance: longing, coded devotion, poetic suffering. And finally, modern industry does what it does best—mass-produces intimacy and sells it back to us with glitter.

In this episode, Dyllan rips the fig leaf off February 14th and asks the real question:
How did “executed for faith” become “two-for-one roses”?

Listener prompt: What’s the weirdest romantic obligation you’ve ever felt pressured into… and what tradition would you actually keep if it wasn’t marketed to death?

Music Credit:

• "In The West" Kevin MacLeod (⁠⁠⁠incompetech.com⁠⁠⁠)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License⁠⁠⁠http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/⁠⁠

• Music track: lavender by massobeats Source: ⁠⁠⁠https://freetouse.com/music ⁠⁠⁠Royalty Free Music for Video (Safe)

The main episode told the myth and the mechanics. This Debrief goes where the headlines don’t.

We’re talking about what came after Laika’s launch: the later admissions and regrets from inside the Soviet space program, the global public reaction that propaganda couldn’t fully control, and the later space-dog survival flights that complicate the idea that Laika’s death was “inevitable.”

Because this story isn’t only about space. It’s about narrative control, how a “first” becomes a victory, how discomfort gets sanded down, and how remembrance can turn into a fig leaf if we’re not careful.

What’s a historical achievement you see differently now?
Honoring the past doesn’t mean protecting its lies.

Music Credits:

• "Our Story Begins" Kevin MacLeod (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠incompetech.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Music track: lavender by massobeats Source: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://freetouse.com/music ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Royalty Free Music for Video (Safe)