Send us Fan Mail

A child doesn’t have the vocabulary for moral injury, PTSD, or hypervigilance, but they can feel a parent’s distance in their bones. When a service member or veteran comes home changed, kids often fill in the blank with the most painful explanation possible: “It must be my fault.” That’s where our conversation with licensed psychologist Dr. Pat Pernicano gets real, fast. She spent years at the South Texas VA working with veterans and co-developing Acceptance and Forgiveness Therapy, and she now focuses on how parental trauma ripples through children and family systems.

We talk attachment theory, deployment separation, and why “acting out” can be worry and grief in disguise. Dr. Pernicano explains how children internalize a caregiver’s emotional pain and how silence in the home can intensify shame and confusion. We also expand the lens beyond military families to first responders, medical providers, chaplains, and helpers carrying vicarious trauma, then bringing that stress back into everyday parenting.

At the center is her picture book, Little Butterfly And Her Daddy: Healing The Pain Of War, built to give families safe, age-appropriate language. A returning father whose wings don’t work becomes a powerful metaphor for a parent who can’t connect the way they used to, while a spider character “wraps up” worries so kids don’t carry them alone. We share ways the book can be used at home, in therapy, and in schools, plus discussion prompts that help kids open up without feeling pressured.

If you know a parent who’s struggling to talk, or a child who’s quietly carrying too much, listen, share this with someone who needs it, and subscribe and leave a review so more families can find these tools.

See all of her work at https://www.pernicanopathways.com

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send us Fan Mail

Silence can be a survival skill, especially when the system around you feels like it will punish the truth. We sit down with Paula J. Kemp, a U.S. Navy combat veteran who served during Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom as a combat photographer, to talk about what happens when the uniform you love becomes the setting for military sexual trauma (MST) and the long shadow it can cast afterward.

Paula walks us through the real-world barriers that keep survivors from reporting: rank, credibility, unit loyalty, fear of retaliation, and the worry that speaking up will end your ability to do the job you trained for. We also go deeper on culture and leadership, why accountability is not “anti-military,” and how prevention and reform have to be more than check-the-box programs if we want readiness, integrity, and trust inside formations.

Then we get practical. Paula shares how a VA disability claim opened the door to naming MST, getting into therapy, and eventually building a battle buddy style peer support approach to help other veterans navigate the VA healthcare system and claims process. We talk about a powerful tool she champions, the MST personal statement, and why putting your experience on paper in your own voice can reduce re-traumatization during appointments and compensation exams. Finally, she explains the mission behind Unjustly Served, co-authored with trauma clinician Marshall Kirkpatrick, and how pairing survivor stories with clinical insight helps families, providers, and leaders connect the dots.

If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more veterans and families can find support.

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send us Fan Mail

A combat zone can train you to function without feelings and then punish you for it later. Chris Lo joins us from Singapore to tell a story that starts with conscript service and a West Point education and ends in Afghanistan with a coalition mission to mentor Afghan artillery instructors under NATO. Along the way, he gives a rare look at how danger builds: not just firefights, but rising tension, missing intelligence, and the constant sense that something is about to break.

We dig into the Quran burning unrest, green-on-blue threats, and the brutal math of leadership when you have to make decisions without enough information. Chris describes near-death moments where time slows down, the trigger feels impossibly close, and the rules of engagement are never just tactical. We also talk about why command feels lonely and how leaders can carry moral injury even when they “do everything right,” because no-win choices leave a residue.

Then we follow the story home. Chris shares how PTSD and moral injury can show up as physical symptoms, denial, relationship strain, and a mindset that keeps saying “drive on” even when your body is waving red flags. His healing journey spans years, moving from physical recovery to cognitive understanding to emotional repair, with grief and empathy as unexpected catalysts.

If you care about veteran mental health, moral injury recovery, PTSD symptoms, or the real cost of high-stakes leadership, you’ll get a lot from this conversation. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the takeaway that hit you hardest.

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send us Fan Mail

He hit bottom on the street, shaking with delirium tremors, and had a realization that changed everything: alcoholism was never just about alcohol. We talk with Dr. Robb Kelly, PhD, a recovery expert who’s spent decades studying the brain, trauma, and what actually drives compulsive behavior, from alcohol dependence to drug addiction, anxiety, and depression.

We get into the invisible part of the story: the subconscious thinking patterns that form in childhood, the “normal” experiences that later reveal themselves as trauma, and the belief systems that keep people stuck in self-sabotage. Dr. Kelly explains how neuroplasticity and brain-based methods can help rewrite those pathways, and why tools like brainspotting and Breathbox Studio aim to uncover, discover, and discard what the brain has been protecting for years.

We also focus on veterans mental health, PTSD, moral injury, and why the hardest stretch can come after service ends. When routines and identity drop away, isolation rises, and old memories surge back, people need more than advice they need a process, a community, and practical daily support.

If you or someone you love is struggling, this conversation points to clear next steps and real resources, including a free session offer for military-related PTSD and a free copy of Dr. Kelly’s book. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find help when it matters most. Learn more at https://robbkelly.com/.

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send a text

What if the highest form of leadership is love—and the clearest proof of love is accountability? We sit down with retired U.S. Coast Guard commander and culture-change consultant Patti Tutalo to dig into the mechanics of humane leadership that actually improves readiness. Patty shares hard-won insights from operations, Pentagon policy, and a landmark women’s retention study that revealed a painful truth: people don’t leave because of one bad day; they leave after a thousand small cuts. From hair and nail rules used as weapons to leaders rewarded for numbers while neglecting their teams, she maps how systems quietly push talent out—and how to fix them.

We unpack why “accountability is love” isn’t a slogan but a strategy. Clear standards create safety. Early, fair correction prevents bigger harm. Consistency across ranks rebuilds trust shattered by insider protection and rationalizations like “he’s a good guy.” Patti walks us through Operation Fouled Anchor, the Coast Guard Academy investigation that exposed systemic failures, and connects it to a broader leadership crisis: courage collapses when friendship outranks integrity. Her takeaway is blunt and hopeful—build structures that make the right thing the easy thing, and people will thrive.

Patti also opens a window into her consulting practice across male-dominated sectors, where she helps teams redesign policy, feedback, and training to align performance with human dignity. We explore the loneliness epidemic, why retreats and real community boost innovation, and how rethinking masculinity and overwork can unstick teams without lowering standards. The result is a practical playbook: eliminate ambiguous rules that invite bias; measure leaders on how they treat people; coach feedback that blends clarity with care; and create spaces where armor can come off so trust can grow.

If you believe culture is a “soft” issue, prepare to be challenged. If you’ve been craving a way to lead with both heart and backbone, this conversation offers a path forward. Listen, share with a leader who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Reach out to Patti at: https://tutaloconsultants.com/.

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when “service before self” collides with the limits of a human soul? We sit down with veteran, board-certified psychotherapist, and spiritual transformation coach Malaysia Harrell to unpack moral injury, the stigma around getting help, and why healing takes more than motivation. Malaysia’s path runs from the Air Force and the U.S. Public Health Service to senior roles in addiction medicine and presidential support, giving her a rare view of how policy, culture, and people intersect. She shares unflinching stories from deployments and the Afghanistan withdrawal, where lawful actions still left deep ethical scars—and where guilt weighed on those who deployed and those who never could.

Malaysia also opens up about her near-death experience with sepsis after returning from leading mental health support on the Navajo Nation during COVID. The missed diagnosis, the reflex to route her to psychiatry, and the slow recognition of acute infection reveal how systems can fail the very people they’re meant to protect. Together we talk about clearances, “fit for duty” decisions, and the truth that high-functioning PTSD is real. The takeaway is pragmatic and hopeful: trust can be rebuilt when pathways are trauma-informed, family is integrated into care, and leaders advocate for their people.

We shift from policy to practice with strategies employers can use right now: veteran-centric EAPs, embedded virtual counseling, flexible responses to triggers, and training managers to recognize distress without stigma. Malaysia’s coaching work with high-achieving women exposes another hidden battlefield—public success masking private pain. She guides clients to align with their gifts, set boundaries, and build careers that restore rather than drain, blending clinical skill with spiritual clarity so progress sticks.

If you’ve wrestled with questions like “Was it worth it?” or you’ve struggled to ask for help without risking your future, this conversation offers tools, language, and a path forward. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the moment that shifted your perspective—what support would have helped you most?

You can find Malaysia on these social media sites:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malaysiahharrell?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/15YFYAy18u/?mibextid=LQQJ4d
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/malaysia-h-harrell-a322b19b?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@malaysiahharrell?_t=ZM-8rgznTVebO4&_r=1
• YouTube https://youtube.com/@dreamlifemanifested?si=rEFyAh2EINGtztZk

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send a text

A Friday shift, a crowded Walmart, a woman advancing with a hatchet—then two shots that changed countless lives. Captain Adam Myers walks us through that moment with uncommon clarity, and then opens the door to what most people never see: the months and years of fallout, the moral injury that lingers even when policy is followed, and the stigma that punishes honesty more than failure. It’s a story about survival, but also about systems that make survival harder than it should be.

We talk about cumulative stress in policing and how it mirrors the tempo of military life: long stretches of routine spiking into chaos with no time to reset. Adam shares the raw aftermath—hate mail, social media judgment, and the quiet erosion that led to numbing with alcohol, casual sex, and drugs. He speaks candidly about faith: walking into a church the day after the shooting, drifting for years, and later rebuilding a spiritual life sturdy enough to hold the weight of grief and responsibility.

The conversation turns practical and urgent. We dig into peer support, therapy, EMDR, biofeedback, and medication as tools that keep first responders safe, grounded, and employable. We examine real institutional barriers—fitness-for-duty evaluations, privacy fears, and career consequences—that make many hide their pain. Adam’s own termination while improving in treatment becomes a case study and a call to rethink policy. There’s hope here too: a move to a new department, leaders who champion transparency, Mental Health Mondays that normalize care, and a mission—Stop the Threat, Stop the Stigma—that invites officers and civilians to speak openly and get help.

If you care about law enforcement wellness, moral injury, PTSD, or building systems that actually support recovery, this is a must-listen. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your takeaway so we can keep this conversation moving.

Adam is the Founder of Stop The Threat - Stop The Stigma. Adam says his overall goal for establishing Stop The Threat – Stop The Stigma and speaking about his critical incident is to promote Law Enforcement Wellness and inspire other Law Enforcement Professionals, and those who work in the law enforcement profession, to speak about their own mental health.

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/

Send a text

What if the pain keeping you up at night isn’t stress or fear, but the belief that you crossed your own line? We unpack moral injury—the wound to your moral identity—through vivid stories from emergency rooms, newsrooms, child protective services, prisons, and the lives of survivors. Instead of fear-based PTSD, we focus on judgment, shame, guilt, and betrayal, and why soothing a nervous system isn’t enough when the verdict in your head is I am a bad person.

We walk through acts of commission and omission, along with betrayal by leaders and institutions, to show how good people get trapped in impossible choices. You’ll hear Emily’s ER crisis during COVID, a reporter’s split-second decision when a friend becomes the story, and CPS workers forced to choose between insufficient evidence and urgent protection. We step inside prison life to see how the “code” demands a survival mask that hardens into identity, and we examine how survivors of sexual assault and trafficking can be coerced into harming others, carrying a double weight of victimhood and perpetration.

From there, we map a path forward. Three pillars help prevent and mitigate moral injury: clear ethical grounding before the crisis, psychological safety and peer support to break silence, and institutional integrity so systems stop forcing dehumanizing trade-offs. For those already hurt, we frame healing as moral repair: meaning-making, atonement, truthful accountability, and self-forgiveness that integrates the scar without denying harm. This is not about excusing; it’s about rebuilding a life aligned with your values.

If this resonates, share it with someone who might need the language for their pain. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what line will you refuse to cross next time—and what support do you need to hold it?

Learn more about the The Healing Path Project: Advanced Trauma-Informed Training for Licensed Counselors at: https://misns.org/programs/workshops/

(This episode was made using NotebookLM).

Support the show

Help Moral Injury Support Network for Servicewomen, Inc. provide the support it needs to women veterans by donating to our cause at: https://misns.org/donation or send a check or money order to Moral Injury Support Network, 136 Sunset Drive, Robbins, NC 27325. Every amount helps and we are so grateful for your loving support. Thanks!

Follow us on your favorite social channels: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moral-injury-support-network-for-servicewomen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.danielroberts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misnsconsult/