Episodes

  • Hibernation Time
    Jan 18 2026

    In the final episode of Season 1, Matt talks about the life of a dog after it eats its owner, why grabbing little kids off the street is actually a good idea and how economical it is to fly with a dead body.

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    53 mins
  • Grok, please bend me over
    Jan 11 2026

    In this episode, Matt talks about why the age of consent should be 95 million, why we should all be lying to each other as much as possible and how being on your phone is actively killing everyone around you.

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    52 mins
  • I can't save the Earth
    Jan 4 2026

    In this episode, Matt uses his iconic, soothing voice to talk about his medium rare index finger, why there are worse places to die than a McDonalds drive thru and why vegans are far more dangerous than we could have ever imagined.

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    46 mins
  • Free Junk!
    Dec 28 2025

    In this episode, Matt talks about the general population's rabid desire for garbage, why Michael Jackson needs to come back from the dead and set some things straight and why it's ok to ask Asian people if they plan on eating their pets.

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    50 mins
  • We are all doomed
    Dec 21 2025

    In this episode, Matt carelessly gives away his grandmas secret Italian cookie recipe, tries to make light of a bunch of horrible events (he fails) and finally cracks the code to a perfect Vegas weekend.

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    51 mins
  • The People VS Cinnabon
    Dec 14 2025

    In this episode, Matt talks about the downfall of his sad receding hairline, why getting married is less important than murdering people and why you better have a good plan before you decide to eliminate children.

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    49 mins
  • Free Machetes for Everyone!
    Dec 7 2025

    In this episode, Matt talks about his takedown of evil cat killing cousins, why going to college has become an activity for stupid people and why Katy Perry needs to stop getting into fights with disabled veterans.

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    55 mins
  • The Haitian Invasion
    Nov 30 2025

    In this episode, Matt talks about his new vegan arch nemesis, why recruiting homeless people for a foreign coup is probably not a good idea, and how his childhood dancing partner became an internet meme.

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    48 mins