I'm less afraid of vampires than I am of men who will walk around the men's locker room in a public gym in their bare feet. Costco pizza is legitimately hazardous for your health. I'm getting "Tim Walz face" and I'm not happy about it. Fuck the Hustons, the Gables, and most likely the Millers, too. (But I'm still trying) I watched the Deadwood movie, and mostly wished I hadn't. Did I put up 280 on bench press?? You'll have to listen to find out! Hurry! My amigo(?) Dusty and Mrs Dusty came to town on Saturday night, and Mr. Rocha and I regaled them with a comedy show AND a VIP Comedy Store experience. It pays to be a fan of THIS show, I tell ya!

I'm adjusting to this drastic change in lifestyle at my advanced age, and hopefully you won't have to hear too much more about it, or the agony of de-feet. I tell you about the "scene from Midnight Express" showers I experienced at my new primary gym, LA Fitness in the deep valley. I've about had it with Jerry Seinfeld and his imperious, haughty attitude. The real question is "why hasn't anyone else," and when will someone have the balls to tell him to shut the fuck up, or kiss their ass? He even made a monkey out of Adam Carolla. I finished up Deadwood and had some thoughts about the series. I saw the lil indie hit "Tuner," and I also saw Masters Of The Universe. I really liked it, but you can rest assured I manage to spend way more time complaining about it than complimenting it, because I'm an ass.

Why doesn't technology ever just work like it's supposed to? I might have accidentally gotten Mark Normand's ass kicked. I mention the benchin'. I had a couple of margaratias that could take the paint off a tractor on Saturday, and Sunday I drank enough whiskey to slow an Irishman at the Vinnie Stigma/Outlaw Vinnie Stigma show in Long Beach. (Which was a hoot) I went to see the Hallways movie.

The coffee conundrum. I saw that hot new movie "Obsession" and was completely unprepared for how terrifying and unsettling it would be. I went to see Asphalt Jungle and bother more members of the Huston family to read my script. (Again)

The big premiere of Sex In Your 40s at Gardena Cinema. The guy Christian Bale screamed at directed lots of the most iconic music videos of the 90s. There's a "King Conan" movie very possibly on the way, and something you've always dreamed of – another Godfather movie, but told from Connie Corleone's perspective! That's a surefire hit if I've ever heard of one. I went to see Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia, and have some thoughts about it as an aging film nerd. I also went to see The Mandalorian movie, and it was about as intricate and thought-provoking as an episode of The Smurfs.

I made it this far into my life and decided NOW is a good time to start dunking my pizza in bleu cheese. Guess how my Hinge date went last weekend? It's. not just a new job; it's a lifestyle change! Yay! (That's always fun, at almost 50 years old) Don't ask famous cinematographers' sons about their….DYAD. It's looking more like the BLAND-alorian movie, isn't it? (Shit, I should've saved that pun for when I actually review it…) Converge played a free show in the parking lot at Epitaph, and Bokes & I went. The worst bagel experience I've ever had. (A monumental life event) I went to see Bruce play drums two nights in a row, then cooled my heels at the Comedy Store. It was a booze and junk food fueled weekend, mostly by accident. (But it was still fun)

Strive for 275. (And the right spotter, to keep me alive) "Work trauma." I forgot to mention possibly the most extreme, abrupt weather change I've ever been witness to three weeks ago. Puffy has always been an annoying fraud. I saw the Prestige on the big screen again for the first time in 20 years (when it was, y'know…first released) and I took a trip to OC to conclave with Vince about his script, but instead I drank my first matcha and shit myself. I forced myself to start watching Deadwood from the first episode for the first time, and have thoughts and observations about it, but mostly complaints.

I have a 5 Starburst a day habit, I need an intervention. Wrap up on the Buffalo trip. There's a Django/Zorro team up movie announced, but they'll probably fuck it up. End of the line for Misfits (as far as these people are involved, anyway). I started a new job, and the transition has been rough, to say the least. I gave money to a homeless person for the first time in years, but the reason will shock you. (Possibly even pick you up and drop you) I went to see Eric Rocha in Ventura and was miserable, and I also went to see Normal, the new Bob Odenkirk movie. (And basically was also miserable)