When big feelings arise, it’s natural to want to shrink and shirk them - but these instincts can lead us into dangerous territory, ballooning into habits and compulsions that can dominate and destroy our lives.

In this episode, we welcome Mark Freeman, author of You Are Not A Rock. Together, we discuss:

• Building mental health skills like we develop physical fitness
• Approaching a ‘Values-Led’ life like we make good cookies
• And what sorts of communities are important in our growth and recovery

——

Show notes:

• We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)
• Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:
• https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv
• You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter/X and TikTok
• Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com
• Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/
• Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop
• Jingle by @nikitakarmen

—

• You Are Not A Rock: A Step-By-Step Guide to Better Mental Health - Mark Freeman (Book) https://www.markfreeman.ca/books/
• The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Film) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0359950/

Big feelings can pull us here and there, but often in the direction of pleasure and away from discomfort. Dopamine has a part to play, but what exactly does it do for us and how can we be wise and mindful when following its pull?

In this episode, we welcome our first ever guest, Dr Anastasia Hronis, author of The Dopamine Brain. Together, we discuss:

• The horrible inevitability of sitting with discomfort
• Our pursuit of feeling good and where it might lead us astray
• And why values are essential on our path to live rich & meaningful lives.

——

Show notes:

• We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)
• Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:
• https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv
• You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter/X and TikTok
• Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com
• Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/
• Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop
• Music by @nikitakarmen

—

• The Dopamine Brain - Dr Anastasia Hronis (Book)

More on Anastasia here: https://www.anastasiahronis.com.au/

Plot twist are an exciting feature of our favourite stories but can be the most harrowing experiences of our actual lives.

In this episode, we reveal:

• The major plot twists of our lives and how we survived them
• The painful exercise in pushing through when life shoves us into the unknown
• How to exist in the story before growth, closure or resolution
• And why resilience looks much messier, sloppier and tear-stained than we ever expected

——

Show notes:

• We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)
• Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:
• https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv
• You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter/X and TikTok
• Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com
• Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/
• Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop
• Music by @nikitakarmen

—

• The Plot - Jean Hanff Korelitz (Book)
• The Sequel - Jean Hanff Korelitz (Book)
• I Who Have Never Known Men - Jacqueline Harpman (Book)
• "Yes---what the American public always wants is a tragedy with a happy ending." William Dean Howells
• “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Søren Kierkegaard
• "End Effects of Rated Life Quality: The James Dean Effect" by Ed Diener, Derrick Wirtz, and Shigehiro Oishi, published in Psychological Science in 2001. This research explores how the ending of a life influences the perceived desirability of that life.

Existing as a flawed human creature is a messy, unpredictable and imperfect art, so how are people setting themselves up as experts on the matter?

In this episode, we:

• Call bullshit on self-proclaimed experts in the wellbeing scene
• We tackle Imposter syndrome when you’re a mental health professional whose life is falling apart
• And we celebrate the power and skill of truly witnessing someone (which doesn’t require a certification)

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

• The book Ash refers to is Sorrow & Bliss, by Meg Mason
• "Don't preach from your wounds. Preach from your scars." - Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran pastor
• “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” – Bertrand Russell

It’s a jungle out there for functional neurotics looking for love. Dating demands you bring your best self to the table, but what truths do we disguise in our effort to make ourselves more appealing and palatable to others?

Coming up, we explore:

• What it means to be passionate and intense when men want laid back and easy going
• Going with your gut when a dynamic doesn’t feel right
• Why it feels risky to put your big-feelings on display too soon
• And why it’s alright to be an acquired taste

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

Do you routinely cut yourself off from feeling? Do you bristle at the act of having to perform a “work-friendly” version of yourself? There are many ways we compartmentalise ourselves and our emotions.

Coming up, we explore:

• The themes of Severance, and what they mean for authenticity and emotional truth
• Taking a break from the “performance of identity”
• Emotional pain avoidance and why its not a workable strategy
• And the healing power of feeling in concert with others

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Collective Illusions: Conformity, Complicity and the Science of Why We Make Bad Decisions (book by Todd Rose)

https://www.amazon.com.au/Collective-Illusions-Conformity-Complicity-Decisions/dp/0306925680

Severance (TV series directed by Ben Stiller)

The Substance (film directed by Coralie Fargeat)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Substance

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (film directed by Michel Gondry)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Sunshine_of_the_Spotless_Mind

“Emotions are like children - You don't want them driving the car, but you shouldn't stuff them in the trunk either."

Are you an expert at the sulk and serving up the silent treatment? It can be hard enough managing our own big feelings but what about when we need to let our loved ones in on our emotional chaos in a way that won’t leave them running for the hills?

In this ep, we chat about:

• Pre-gaming emotional tiffs before they blow out
• Growing out of the allure of the soulmate and having grown-up conversations
• Sharing observations, feelings and stating what we need in our relationships
• And what happens when we say what we want, but we still don’t get it

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Essays In Love - Alain de Botton (Book)

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication - Oren J. Sofer (Book)

Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

We finish off our two-parter on overthinking and take a deep dive into the emotions we’re ignoring when we retreat into rumination.

We explore:

• Whether complex emotions are the culprits luring us into overthinking
• Why “why” is a fraught question to ask ourselves when we’re feeling vulnerable
• How to get out of our heads and into our bodies with mindfulness-based inquiry
• And the challenge smart people face in stepping away from the intellectual into something more poetic and slippery

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Reel: Gary from Connecticut, "We don’t need your “under-thinking” thoughts"

https://www.instagram.com/p/DGJMg0tRcKV/

Loving Kindness With Self-Compassion. Kristin Neff https://insig.ht/r7J9wfOY4Nb

Edie Brickell, Me By The Sea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XqoeyLwiX4