• From Brain Loops To Calm: Practical Tools To Break Overthinking
    Jan 23 2026

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    Ever replay a tiny moment until it feels huge? We go straight at overthinking—the late-night loops, the shower replays, the “did that mean something?” spirals—and break down why your brain does it and how to make it stop running the show. Not by shutting thoughts off, but by choosing the right tools when worry dresses up as logic.

    We start with a reframe: overthinking isn’t a flaw; it’s your brain trying to protect you with pattern recognition and care. The problem is timing and intensity. You’ll hear how the loop forms—analyze, imagine, doubt, feel worse, repeat—and why thinking harder rarely delivers the certainty you crave. Then we pivot to what actually works: action or acceptance. From sending a clarifying message to admitting you don’t have new information, these choices restore calm because they restore control.

    You’ll learn four practical tools you can use today. Name the spiral to create distance. Ask, “Do I actually have new information?” to stop dead-end thought. Set a thinking container with a timer so your brain gets boundaries, not endless spin. And get into your body: stretch, walk, breathe deeply, and reset your nervous system. We also take aim at mind reading. Silence isn’t rejection, delayed texts aren’t verdicts, and someone else’s mood is not your responsibility. If someone has an issue, it’s their job to communicate it. That reframe saves hours of pre-punishment and keeps your energy for real conversations.

    Finally, we rebuild self-trust. Swap “What will they think?” for “What do I think?” Practice, “I can handle whatever happens,” and mean it. You’ve done it before; you can do it again. The goal isn’t to stop thinking—it’s to stop letting thoughts drive. Subscribe, share this with a chronic overthinker who needs a reset, and leave a review with the tool you’re trying first.

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    17 mins
  • Stop Making Life Harder Than It Needs To Be
    Jan 16 2026

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    What if most of your daily stress isn’t fate, but friction you can remove? On a solo drive from Chicago to Flagstaff, I lay out the real-life rules that make everything feel lighter: respond slower, explain less, and stop giving unlimited access to people who haven’t earned it. This isn’t a pep talk; it’s a practical field guide for less chaos and more calm, built from miles on the road and years of paying attention.

    We start with the power of the pause—“Let me think about that and get back to you”—and why urgent texts don’t deserve instant answers. From there, I unpack the trap of overexplaining your choices and how no can be complete, kind, and final. We draw a sharp line between effort and effectiveness, talk about rest as strategy, and explore why being exhausted isn’t a personality. You’ll hear how I gatekeep my time and energy, why less access beats dramatic exits, and how to assume ignorance before malice while still tracking patterns that don’t change.

    Then we get tactical. If it isn’t a clear yes, treat it as a no. Most decisions aren’t permanent—repaint the wall, reupholster the chair, pivot the plan. Don’t decide when you’re tired, hungry, emotional, or lonely. Build simple systems that lower decision fatigue: automate bills and meds, streamline email, keep a repeatable breakfast, and fix tiny annoyances immediately so they stop taxing your attention. Finally, we trade motivation myths for momentum: start messy, refine as you go, and let calm be a worthy target. Peace isn’t boring—it’s the baseline that lets you enjoy the life you already have.

    If this conversation helped you breathe easier, share it with a friend, subscribe for more practical life tools, and leave a quick review to tell me which rule you’re adopting first.

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    25 mins
  • Why “Act Your Age” Is A Trap And How To Ignore It
    Jan 9 2026

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    We explore what it means to age without asking permission, from the sting of a sarcastic “good for you” to the freedom of choosing joy without apology. We challenge “act your age,” unpack why women are trained to be small, and offer a calm practice to claim space.

    • the hidden ways we still ask permission
    • “act your age” as a limiting script
    • choosing joy without explaining or shrinking
    • why women face extra pressure to be accommodating
    • how stopping approval-seeking builds real confidence
    • a breathing pause to interrupt overexplaining
    • a weekly invitation to one small rebellious act
    • tease for next week on control

    Do one small, slightly rebellious thing this week, just for you


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    15 mins
  • A Solo Road Trip Toward Clarity And Courage
    Jan 2 2026

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    A fresh year deserves more than another slogan. We’re kicking off with new music, a hard-won cancer-free milestone, and a plan that puts clarity in the driver’s seat: a solo road trip designed for thinking time, wide horizons, and the kind of quiet that lets your own voice come through. No reinvention theater, no 10-step blueprints. Just the courage to set a route that matches your energy and the discipline to listen when the road starts telling the truth.

    Across the miles, I get honest about why I’m going alone, why I’m going now, and why aging isn’t a cue to shrink. We talk about routines that help until they hem you in, the seductive illusion of control, and how adaptability becomes our most underrated skill as the birthdays stack up. I share the practicals too: daylight driving, AAA at the ready, pacing days for long early stretches and slower landings, and yes, the joy of a pit stop in Uranus for fudge and clean bathrooms. Along the way we unpack how driving loosens the mind, why uninvited ideas show up around hour three, and what it takes to sit with yourself without apologizing for it.

    This is the start of a series about aging without shrinking, choosing expansion at any age, and granting yourself permission to want more. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to be smaller, more predictable, or more careful than your spirit can stand, consider this your nudge. I’m turning 65, celebrating 38 years sober, and building days that fit the life I actually want. Come ride along, reflect, and ask yourself what your road could give you if you stopped asking permission.

    If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a brave nudge, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations. Want more on sobriety and sustainable change? Search Unbottled by Marcy Backis wherever you get podcasts.

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    19 mins
  • Dear January, Stop Yelling At Us
    Dec 26 2025

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    The loudest voice in January insists we start over, buy more, and hustle harder. We’re not doing that. We’re choosing intentions—gentle, flexible guardrails that help us evolve without the shame spiral that usually follows broken resolutions. If you’re tired of feeling like a failure by the second week of the year, this conversation will feel like a deep breath.

    We unpack why resolutions fall apart so quickly: they start from a story that you’re broken and need fixing. Then we offer a kinder framework that begins with reflection. What drained you last year? What surprised you? Where did you grow without noticing? From that ground, we set one to three intentions that focus on how we want to feel and how we want to show up. You’ll hear five practical intentions you can borrow—listening to your body, protecting your energy, staying curious, nurturing relationships, and enjoying life now—and how to translate them into choices you can sustain.

    Throughout the episode, we weave in real-life context: a noisy city day after the holidays, travel plans for a milestone birthday, navigating a medical year with more self-advocacy, and practical boundaries for work and the phone. We show how to use intentions as a daily compass by asking, “Does this support my intention?” and how to check in monthly, adjust without guilt, and celebrate progress—especially on the messy days when getting through is the win. It’s an honest, encouraging reset for anyone craving growth without the grind.

    If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who hates resolution season, and leave a review so more people can find it. And don’t miss our new sobriety-focused show, Unbottled, dropping three launch episodes on January 1—tune in and tell us your first intention of the year.

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    19 mins
  • The Mental Load, Unmasked
    Dec 19 2025

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    The quiet weight that keeps families afloat has a name—and it’s heavier than most people admit. We dive into the mental load with raw, everyday stories: the constant planning behind dinner, the whiplash of medical appointments, the emotional labor of smoothing conflicts, and the tech-driven reality where “savings” hide behind apps. If you’ve ever been the calendar keeper, the medical historian, the emotional buffer, and the household IT support, this conversation will feel uncomfortably familiar and deeply validating.

    We talk candidly about how that invisible work so often falls to women, even after kids are grown. Adult children still need support, partners rely on the “person who knows,” and the to-do list expands as we age—finances, specialists, pet care, travel, and the nagging feeling that time is tighter. There’s humor here, too: free Fry Fridays that require app fluency, coupon stacks that turn a $60 bill into $22, and the absurdity of spending energy to save a few dollars when bandwidth is already thin. The point isn’t perfection. It’s permission to set limits and share the load.

    Practical shifts are the thread that holds it together: stop automatically picking everything up, share ownership not just tasks, say out loud what you can’t carry, and let a few corners stay imperfect. Boundaries aren’t punishment—they’re protection. And when the day wins, a nap with the cats can be a reset, not a failure. You are not broken; you are overloaded. If this resonates, pass it to someone who needs the words, then subscribe for more honest conversations that trade shame for clarity. Leave a review to tell us the one invisible job you’re ready to put down.

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    18 mins
  • Stop Saying Sorry
    Dec 12 2025

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    Ever catch yourself saying “sorry” before you’ve even done anything wrong? That tiny word can become a constant leak in our confidence, time, and peace. We pull the thread on over-apologizing and reveal how it gets trained into us, why it sticks, and what it costs—especially during busy seasons when expectations and exhaustion run high.

    We move from awareness to action with a practical “apology retirement list.” You’ll hear how to swap vague apologies for clear language that respects you and others: “excuse me” instead of “sorry,” “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late,” and the revolutionary power of “No” as a complete sentence. We talk about rest as maintenance, not failure; setting do-not-disturb boundaries so your phone works for you; and choosing peace over chaos when family patterns heat up. Along the way, we tackle the right to change your mind and why you never need to justify sobriety. Honesty matters, but delivery matters too—truth lands best when paired with care, not cruelty.

    We also name the few times apologies truly matter: when harm is real, when we miss what’s meaningful, or when fear speaks louder than love. Keeping apologies rare and sincere restores their power. By the end, you’ll have language you can use today, stories that make the shift feel possible, and a steadier sense that you don’t owe the world an apology for who you are. If you’re ready to retire needless sorrys and stand in your life with clarity and warmth, press play and share your own “no more apologies” moment. If this resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and pass it to a friend who needs the reminder.

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    18 mins
  • Little Habits, Big Joy: Movies, Music, Kindness, and Tiny Systems To Jumpstart 2026
    Dec 5 2025

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    If big, shiny resolutions always leave you drained by February, here’s a gentler way to set the year in motion. We explore how small, human-sized choices can spark real joy and steady momentum, from the comfort of a favorite movie to the energy lift of a shower playlist. Instead of chasing perfection, we trade pressure for presence, and watch how tiny, repeatable actions change the feel of a day.

    We start with emotional anchors that actually work: rewatchable films that ground your mood, songs that cue calm or spark fun, and one simple kitchen win—like a homemade salad dressing—that reminds you progress can be delicious. Then we turn outward: everyday kindness that brightens strangers and boomerangs back to you, handwritten thank-you notes that feel timeless, and micro-gestures like holding the elevator that make a city feel more human. There’s also “free therapy” in nature and animals, from petting a dog to rescuing a droopy houseplant with a new pot and a little care.

    As the conversation deepens, we invite you to revive a past hobby—the instrument you loved, the craft you abandoned, the project you half-finished—and give it twenty focused minutes. Small sparks can unlock big creative seasons. To support it all, we set tiny systems: mood-based playlists, sticky notes for “future you,” and a commitment to finish one lingering task. We close with a reminder that matters more than any checklist: speak kindly to yourself, especially at year’s end. If you want a happier 2026, start where your feet are and make one small change today.

    If this message hit home, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a softer start, and leave a quick review telling us the one small spark you’ll try this week.

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    20 mins