Who were you before?

Welcome to the first episode of Wild Child Summer, a 15-part series exploring how the social structures in our world (family, school, work, and media) have shaped the person you've become—and what parts of your authentic self may still be waiting beneath years of expectations, achievement, and adaptation.

In this episode, Kim explores the psychology of authenticity, identity, and belonging, asking why so many adults feel disconnected from the uninhibited, curious child they once were. Drawing on research from Michael Kernis, Brian Goldman, Susan Harter, John Bowlby, Dan McAdams, Carl Rogers, Robert Kegan, and Carl Jung, this conversation examines how our earliest relationships, family dynamics, and social environments quietly teach us which parts of ourselves are acceptable—and which are hidden away.

Rather than romanticizing childhood, this episode offers a thoughtful investigation into how personality develops, why adaptation is necessary for survival, and where adaptation can become self-abandonment. It invites listeners to begin an "archaeology of the self," uncovering the difference between living authentically and simply performing the version of ourselves that earned approval.

In this episode:

• Why childhood photos can evoke a surprising sense of loss
• The psychology of the "true self" and authenticity
• How attachment and belonging shape identity
• Why adaptation often becomes mistaken for personality
• The stories we tell ourselves—and how they define us
• The hidden cost of people-pleasing and performance
• Why becoming yourself may require subtraction rather than addition
• Three reflective questions to begin reconnecting with your authentic self

Reflection for the week:

Pay attention to the moments when you feel most like yourself—not when you're performing, achieving, or managing other people's expectations, but when you feel relaxed, present, and genuinely alive. Those moments may reveal more about who you are than any personality test ever could.

3 Questions to sit with:

This week's episode invites you to sit with three simple—but revealing—questions:

1. What did you naturally love to do as a child? Before it had to be useful, productive, or impressive, what genuinely captured your curiosity and imagination?
2. When did you first learn that part of you was "too much" or "not enough"? Can you remember a specific moment that taught you to edit, suppress, or change yourself to fit in?
3. What part of yourself has never gone away? What instinct, longing, or way of seeing the world has quietly stayed with you, even if you've spent years trying to ignore or outgrow it?

These questions aren't about finding definitive answers—they're an invitation to begin noticing the layers of conditioning that shape your identity and reconnecting with the parts of yourself that have always been there.

Next episode: When Did You Stop Playing? Exploring why play matters far beyond childhood—and what we lose when we leave it behind.