“I had an awakening if you like. I've been out for many years but not really in the lesbian scene. And all of a sudden I was in a room full of queer women all having really nice chats and I felt like a kid in a candy shop. That was only four years ago. I was really proudly a lesbian at that point. And I then really wanted to own it. I wanted to say the word more.”

Embracing the term ‘lesbian’ has been an evolution with this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ and it’s a timely conversation with Lesbian Visibility Week just around the corner. And to be clear, she’s one of my best friends AND my favourite lesbian in the world!

Jayney Flatman (she/her) is a Global Operations Manager in the corporate travel industry - which she’s been in since the start of her career. She’s also one of the Co-Founders of The House of Happiness, London’s Ultimate Queer Sober Clubbing Extravaganza (alongside me) and up until last year, she headed up a community group for queer women & non-binary people. An understanding of inclusion is something Jayney feels is fairly new to how she shows up in the world but how she puts it into action has been shaped by so many of her experiences…

Little Jayney & her family moved around a lot. It’s a recurring theme in her life - and something we touch on in comparison to today. On the one hand, Little Jayney was a quiet & shy child whilst on the other, she was often the one leading a group & taking centre stage. “I’m very much a sea of contradictions” says Jayney, back then and again, now. She was convinced she’d either be famous… or be murdered. Which very much speaks to her dramatic flare!

School wasn’t pleasant for the most part and Jayney experienced a lot of bullying for being different. She would often run away & not fight back and very much felt like she didn’t belong. We explore the impact of this and why finding her voice & therapy have been game changers. As well as how discovering her love of a party & dancing have shaped her.

What makes this episode even more timely is that Jayney has just celebrated her 60th birthday so it provided the perfect opportunity for reflection AND celebration. She shares why she chose to throw a whole festival - brilliantly named JayneyFest - to mark the occasion, diving into self help books from her teens, how sobriety has changed her life, meeting her amazing girlfriend Jess and all things JOY!

Jayney chose the following three words to describe herself & her origin story: No Ordinary Girl. She really isn’t. And I can’t wait for you to hear this…

PLEASE NOTE: This episode contains mentions of bullying, domestic abuse & violence. Take care of yourself whilst listening.