“Some people burn bridges. I’m nuking the entire zip code.”

In this premiere episode, the receipts are finally coming out. We’re going back to 1999—the era of Gateway PCs, AOL chat rooms, and the moment I realized my family was a collection of the most treacherous people on the planet. I’m introducing you to the "Unholy Trinity": my father Steven Sr., my stepmother Susan, and my sister Angella.

Inside this episode:

• The Gateway to Hell: How my father, Steven Sr., used my own AOL chat logs to poach the woman I was sleeping with. I’ll recount the "Ace Ventura" moment in the shower when I found out the disgusting truth.
• The Oompa Loompa & The Desert Storm Affair: Meet Susan, the homewrecking "Oompa Loompa" with an 800 credit score who tore my mother’s life apart. Plus, find out how I turned her $300 "death wish" money into an LA hustle that kept me alive just to spite her.
• The Failed Snitch: The day my sister Angella called a SWAT team on me over four pounds of "alleged" green. Hear how an inside tip from the Vice squad and a well-placed insult about a deputy’s mother turned a raid into a comedy special.

This is just the beginning. These three didn't just lie and snitch; they played a long game of sabotage that eventually led to the theft of my children. I’ve got 27 years of video, audio, and emails, and I’m starting with the people who thought they could break me.

Justice—and rashes—are officially being served.

Check back next week for the link to the First Amendment Collection and the legendary "Suck a Dick Covered in Herpes" T-shirt.