If you’ve ever worried about sibling rivalry, felt guilty about how your attention is divided, or wondered whether your children secretly believe you have a favourite, this episode will change how you see your family forever.

I’m joined by journalist and author Catherine Carr to talk about her extraordinary book Who’s the Favourite? - a deep dive into the hidden emotional world of siblings.

We explore the roles children fall into - the helper, the golden child, the invisible one - and how parents often reinforce these roles without realising.

We talk about birth‑order myths, why each child grows up in a completely different family, and how sibling dynamics can quietly shape anxiety, perfectionism and self‑worth.

And Catherine shares powerful insights on “glass siblings,” the children who become unseen because a brother or sister’s needs dominate family life.

If you’re raising siblings, an only child, or simply trying to understand the emotional ecosystem your children are growing up in, this conversation is essential. It’s warm, honest, eye‑opening, and it will give you the language and perspective you need to support every child in your family more intentionally.

More from Catherine:

Buy the book - https://a.co/d/0aiXNRSq

Listen to the podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/relatively/id1544111718

Highlights from this episode:

03:31 - Who’s the favourite?

09:13 - The optimal age gap

16:44 - Assigning roles

21:39 - Glass siblings

27:46 - I’m the star!

37:55 - Ch ch ch changes

41:17 - The longest relationship you will ever have

💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together

💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/

💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025

💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When your child looks at you and says, “I’m not good enough,” it hits you in the chest. Every instinct you have wants to fix it, to tell them they’re brilliant, to list every wonderful thing about them, to make the feeling go away. But if you’ve tried that, you already know it doesn’t work. They don’t believe you. They cry harder. They shut down. And you’re left wondering what on earth you’re supposed to say.

In this episode, I’ll show you exactly what’s happening in your child’s brain in that moment, and why reassurance, however loving, cannot land.

When a child says “I’m not good enough,” their emotional bucket is full. Their nervous system is overwhelmed. Their thinking brain is offline. You’re not talking to logic; you’re talking to a flooded body.

I’ll walk you through the three tools that actually work: how to acknowledge the feeling so their guard comes down, how to shift them from a global identity statement to a specific moment, and how to help them empty their bucket so they can regulate again.

These are simple, powerful steps you can use tonight - in the car, in the kitchen, or at bedtime - to help your child feel seen, safe and supported.

If you’re tired of reassurance falling flat and you want a response that truly helps your child in their “I’m not good enough” spiral, this episode gives you the words, the sequence, and the science behind why they work.

Highlights from this episode:

01:09 - I’m Not Good Enough

03:58 - Hear It First

06:43 - Action Over Identity

08:50 - Empty the Bucket

💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together

💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/

💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025

💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip.

I’m seeing perfectionism show up in more children than ever, and most parents don’t realise it’s not about high standards at all. It’s anxiety. And it’s quietly eroding your child’s confidence, resilience, and joy.

In this episode, I break down what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and the hidden signs most families miss - from the blank‑page freeze to the endless erasing, the shutdowns, the self‑criticism, and the sudden quitting of things they once loved.

I’ll show you the neuroscience behind why your child reacts this way, the early experiences that wire these beliefs in, and the five practical tools you can start using today to help them feel enough, even when things aren’t perfect.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells, exhausted by homework battles, or worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong is holding them back, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Perfectionism isn’t fixed, and with the right support, your child can learn to try, to tolerate mistakes, and to thrive again.

Highlights from this episode:

01:11 - Performance = Worth

06:05 - The signs of perfectionism

10:05 - The root cause of anxiety

14:40 - Five things that work

18:18 - Mind the gap

💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together

💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/

💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025

💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.