If sex hurts, you’ve stopped wanting it, or it just doesn’t feel like it used to, there’s a good chance a doctor has gaslit you into thinking that’s normal. NOT ON OUR WATCH. Dr. Somi Javaid, a board-certified OB/GYN, menopause and sexual health specialist, and founder of HerMD, spent two decades treating these exact issues, and she’s here to say you don’t have to live this way. She joins Em and Cass for a conversation about painful sex, mismatched sex drives, and the two FDA-approved medications for low desire (she took one herself when her own drive disappeared). They also get into how to find a doctor who takes you seriously, and why perimenopause can start earlier than you think.

What you’ll learn:

• Why painful sex is common but NOT normal, plus the 19-question quiz and the details that get a doctor to take you seriously
• The fixes nobody’s talking about: moisturizers, localized hormones, a vibrator you use before sex, and pelvic floor PT you can do from your couch
• Why birth control, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can all leave you dry (and why perimenopause can actually start in your early 30s)
• Why a mismatched sex drive doesn’t mean you’re broken, and what to try before reaching for medication (audio erotica, a clitoral pump, and more)
• Why Viagra was approved in six months, while the first drug for low desire in women took six years (and the “wine or sex” contract women had to sign)
• One of the top reasons women struggle to orgasm (it’s not what you’d guess)
• How to find a specialist who won’t gaslight you, filtered by zip code and by whether they take your insurance

Connect with Dr. Somi and listen to her podcast HERE!

Wanna hang out IRL? Come to our event in Portland, OR on Nov. 14th 2026. Click HERE for tickets!

“My ex told me I have a wide vagina. Am I normal?” That’s this week’s listener confession. And after six years of reading listener messages, we can tell you with certainty that some version of “is my vagina normal?” is the single most-asked question we get. SO HERE WE GO. We dive into the medical facts (we looked them up), the biology, and the much bigger issue we need to be addressing: why men go straight for comments about our bodies when they want to hurt us and how to stop letting it get to you.

We Cover:

• The medical truth on “wide set vaginas” (spoiler: Mean Girls lied, it isn’t a real term, and here’s what Dr. Jennifer Wider actually says about vaginal diameter)
• Why your physiology (aka AROUSAL) might be the reason he felt “less friction”
• The reason insulting a woman’s body is a shitty man's go to when they want to hurt you
• The reframe every vagina owner NEEDS to internalize... your vagina is normal, your labia are normal, your taste and smell are normal, all of it
• What to actually do if there IS a real size mismatch in a relationship (there are a thousand solutions, we cover a few)
• AND why even if you DO have a wide vagina it literally doesn't matter, and you are perfection personified

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast.

If you're in the Portland, OR area don't forget to join our "Portland, OR Girlies" group chat in our Instagram bio!

Rock-solid confidence, sex you genuinely enjoy, and healthier relationships all start with actually knowing yourself. This week, Em & Cass are talking with Laura Rubin, a creative coach, journaling expert, and founder of AllSwell Creative. She’s led breakthrough writing workshops for tens of thousands of people, been covered by The New York Times, Washington Post, Vogue, and Forbes, and built a career blending neuroscience and mindfulness to prove that writing by hand actually rewires how you think and feel. She joins Em and Cass to share how journaling can become the catalyst for confident decisions, healthier relationships, and better conversations in bed.

If you're thinking...

• “I always start a journal, go hard for a week, and quit.” Laura's got a 4-minute practice that will literally rock your world and make journaling feel practical and accessible.
• “I don't even know what I would write about." Laura shares specific prompts to help you navigate your trickiest intimacy moments (when you don’t like how you look naked, when you have no idea what turns you on, when you can’t tell what’s yours vs. what you’ve been told to want).
• “Isn’t this just more wellness bullshit?” Laura didn't come here to BS. She's sharing the science-backed, FREE methods to actually change your life both in the bedroom and beyond.
• “Will this actually change anything in my sex life or my relationships?” Yes. Press play already.

Connect with Laura and AllSwell Creative on Instagram and on her website.

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast.